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Rest in Peace, we’ll never forget you, Ash
6 months ago
It has taken me a few days to write this but I’ll try my best.
On Saturday April 19th, Hunter and I had to put down our 12 year old cat, Ash. We were not expecting to have to make that decision when we took her to the vet that day; she had not been eating/drinking for a couple days and was unusually tired and not herself. It was an all day ordeal of running tests and scans…just receiving more and more bad news. She had lost a lot of weight but it was hard to tell from so much fluid inside her chest cavity/abdomen. There was still hope at this point that whatever was causing this fluid could be drained and controlled with medication…until cancer was brought up.
I’ve been through cancer and chemo…I would never wish any of my loved ones to experience that. It took so long to make our final decision and no amount of time would have made us ready for it. We did not want her to suffer at her age…just delaying death for our sake. For her sake, we said goodbye and she peacefully fell asleep.
I know there’s going to be some people who don’t get it, and that’s fine. It’s been so incredibly difficult for us..she was our life. She would fit into so much of our daily schedule, it’s the silence that kills me…no waking us up in the morning, no finding her in the window watching birds, no thumping noises down the hall of her zooming around. I just miss her so goddamn much…but I know it’ll take time.
I appreciate the people telling me to take a break but I physically can’t. I need the distractions, just something to take my mind off of her. I may need to open commissions soon, I haven’t decided yet. We spent so much money at the vet, just desperately hoping for some answer that could help save her. I do not regret spending all that money on her though…she was family and we couldn’t let her go without fighting.
I do not like asking for donations but I’ll leave my Paypal.Me here if anyone is a good place right now to donate:
https://paypal.me/Crystalwings?coun.....locale.x=en_US
I may need some time and I apologize for anyone wanting commissions…thank you for your patience.
On Saturday April 19th, Hunter and I had to put down our 12 year old cat, Ash. We were not expecting to have to make that decision when we took her to the vet that day; she had not been eating/drinking for a couple days and was unusually tired and not herself. It was an all day ordeal of running tests and scans…just receiving more and more bad news. She had lost a lot of weight but it was hard to tell from so much fluid inside her chest cavity/abdomen. There was still hope at this point that whatever was causing this fluid could be drained and controlled with medication…until cancer was brought up.
I’ve been through cancer and chemo…I would never wish any of my loved ones to experience that. It took so long to make our final decision and no amount of time would have made us ready for it. We did not want her to suffer at her age…just delaying death for our sake. For her sake, we said goodbye and she peacefully fell asleep.
I know there’s going to be some people who don’t get it, and that’s fine. It’s been so incredibly difficult for us..she was our life. She would fit into so much of our daily schedule, it’s the silence that kills me…no waking us up in the morning, no finding her in the window watching birds, no thumping noises down the hall of her zooming around. I just miss her so goddamn much…but I know it’ll take time.
I appreciate the people telling me to take a break but I physically can’t. I need the distractions, just something to take my mind off of her. I may need to open commissions soon, I haven’t decided yet. We spent so much money at the vet, just desperately hoping for some answer that could help save her. I do not regret spending all that money on her though…she was family and we couldn’t let her go without fighting.
I do not like asking for donations but I’ll leave my Paypal.Me here if anyone is a good place right now to donate:
https://paypal.me/Crystalwings?coun.....locale.x=en_US
I may need some time and I apologize for anyone wanting commissions…thank you for your patience.
I hope your cat had a happy and healthy life with you
Having lost many little friends over the years, I can feel your pain.
It's like time slows down and speeds up at the same time, watching it all go down in front of you. It feels like their suffering is coming on so fast, and yet that the ordeal is lasting so, so long... And then the final moment, where the vet comes and takes that pain away.
The point I am making is that I know how you feel; and I won't tell you not to be sad or anything, but you gave them a good life, and lived a good life with them. And you chose not to let them suffer, you're a good person. And I know you have a good repertoire of memories of them to cherish after all this.
...I don't think Ash could have survived the chemo if you had decided to take it. If they were old enough for you to comment on their age like that, chances are they didn't have a good shot at cancer treatment.
You made the right call, no matter how painful it was. I know the pain you're going through, and I am so sorry.
I hope you two have the best day you can despite this.
She also ultimately died to cancer with 12 years...
So yea, I very much feel your pain. I was completely devastated and I still miss that adorable fluffball. That's actually 12 years ago now and I still have absolutely not forgotten her.
You stay strong. Her memory and herself will live forever on in your hearts. <3 and as long as we remember, nothing is ever fully lost. It will take time, but you got this.
Pets are not just Pets, they become part of the family, and when that happens...
when it's time to say goodbye, whether it's their time or not, is tragic.
My condolences and sympathies <3
Ear is here if ever you need to chat <3
What more was she like?
If you feel you have a need to channel your sadness into something productive, that is admirable, but don't bury it or lock it away; that's almost as bad as being consumed by it. Grieving, bitter as it is, is part of the healing process, like draining poison from a bite or pus from a wound. Whatever time you need think or moments you want alone to cry, take them. We all understand.
Work's been picking up for me, so I happen to have a bit of bumper change. However much you want, or need to recuperate from the veterinary bills, let me know, and I'll see how much I can cover.
Also, sorry you had to go through cancer and chemo yourself. Saw someone at work go through that, and even with his remarkable recovery, it still kicked his ass for over half a year, so I can only imagine that it must have been at least as bad for you. We are blessed to still count you among the living.
Rest in Peace, Ash
2013(?) - April 19th, 2025
Live well, Kitty.
You have a lot more living left to do.