FA+
Shop
What happened yesterday/this morning?(Feeling mostly better)
5 months ago
***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.
Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I rely upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3
But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.
Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.
Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I rely upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3
But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.
Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***
Sincerely,
The Cheshire Cat's Master