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a call for help
a day ago
I dunno what to say
I dunno how to talk to people anymore
It all just becomes meaningless after a while
Why can't a build real connections with people?????
I have so many friends whom I used to talk passionately with about lost of different subject. They don't talk to me anymore... If I talk to them, sometimes they'll answer... If I'm lucky... And in that case they'll be polite but... You can clearly feel they have no desires to talk to me.... They have no curiositiy about me or antything I do, at all, they'll answer with the shortest, most boiled down reply possible without ever engaging further... Its pretty much just like talking to a wall... Obviously I'm not wanted there.
But it has happened so much
With so many people
countless
What is it about me to systematically lead people to that behavior?
Am I this much of a worthless piece of shit???
I just feel like my world is breaking apart.
I dunno how to talk to people anymore
It all just becomes meaningless after a while
Why can't a build real connections with people?????
I have so many friends whom I used to talk passionately with about lost of different subject. They don't talk to me anymore... If I talk to them, sometimes they'll answer... If I'm lucky... And in that case they'll be polite but... You can clearly feel they have no desires to talk to me.... They have no curiositiy about me or antything I do, at all, they'll answer with the shortest, most boiled down reply possible without ever engaging further... Its pretty much just like talking to a wall... Obviously I'm not wanted there.
But it has happened so much
With so many people
countless
What is it about me to systematically lead people to that behavior?
Am I this much of a worthless piece of shit???
I just feel like my world is breaking apart.
You are absolutely not worthless~
Sincerely,
The Cheshire Cat's Master
You are not worthless, not at all. If possible, I recommend going out to find people to interact with IRL. There are ways to help yourself, with matters of loneliness: search for spaces near you that match your interests. Hobby groups, gaming groups, whatever is ideal.
We can give you all the comfort you need. But truly recovering will take effort on your part: you're already amazing, having bounced back from despair so many times.
You are not worthless. Knowing this, you can push yourself to find whatever spaces you can. And remember: silence is not malice. Everyone has something in their lives that occupies them.
You deserve all the love in the world.