Last year at this time I was laying on my couch sobbing because the final day of AC was happening. It made me want to go there this year. I had planned on going this year. I had the money to go then my parents made me start paying my student loans a couple of months ago and the money to go wasn't there. My holiday was ruined because I was miserable because I wanted to be at AC. Writing this is hard because I am holding back tears. I always procrastinate about these things and it always bites me in the butt. I live three and a half hours away from AC but it's not easy. I usually watch the live streams but this year I couldn't because it would make me feel angry and upset. I miss so many opportunities and it bothers me. I want to go to a con doesn't have to be AC but I would prefer it to be AC. I am very crushed right now. I am hurt. I am very hurt. My life is full of missed opportunities and it's getting to the point where it's starting to affect my mental health. I don't want to wait until next year to go to AC but I'm going to have to. This sucks. I want to scream and cry. I know that won't make this better.