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2 months ago
I need to vent and I know barely anyone reads these.
Lately I have been struggling more and more with my mental health I have my highs and lows and of writing this I'm fine for the time being but I don't know how much more I can take. I try to not think about it but lately seems like life doesn't want me to forget about all the bad that's happening from the current state of the world and in my own life.
I'm grateful for my friends I made here but I always feel like I burden them with my problems whenever something comes up, and I don't think that's right. I have been commission more art like crazy than before its one of the few things that bring me joy if at all temporary.
Lately I can't sleep I been working more days than my usual schedule sure the money is ok for where I live but I can't feel like I'm not even cut out to do that sort of job I feel horrible like I'm robbing the place of money just for working there since I don't really do anything. I don't do anything productive or worthwhile. I thought I could people but I can't even do that properly. Makes me think what am I even good for I can't do anything someone my age should be able to do.
When I try to sleep I can't sleep more than 4-5 and when I do sleep I wake up to realistic nightmares they don't happen that often but it's enough to wake me up.
I know how all this is sounding but I'm not giving up I can't I don't have that luxury not yet at least. Feels like the world doesn't want me sometimes even if my friends say otherwise, I don't know how much longer I can keep going but I'll stick it out for the time being, I rather not worry anyone so that's why I decided to post this here where no one will see it
Lately I have been struggling more and more with my mental health I have my highs and lows and of writing this I'm fine for the time being but I don't know how much more I can take. I try to not think about it but lately seems like life doesn't want me to forget about all the bad that's happening from the current state of the world and in my own life.
I'm grateful for my friends I made here but I always feel like I burden them with my problems whenever something comes up, and I don't think that's right. I have been commission more art like crazy than before its one of the few things that bring me joy if at all temporary.
Lately I can't sleep I been working more days than my usual schedule sure the money is ok for where I live but I can't feel like I'm not even cut out to do that sort of job I feel horrible like I'm robbing the place of money just for working there since I don't really do anything. I don't do anything productive or worthwhile. I thought I could people but I can't even do that properly. Makes me think what am I even good for I can't do anything someone my age should be able to do.
When I try to sleep I can't sleep more than 4-5 and when I do sleep I wake up to realistic nightmares they don't happen that often but it's enough to wake me up.
I know how all this is sounding but I'm not giving up I can't I don't have that luxury not yet at least. Feels like the world doesn't want me sometimes even if my friends say otherwise, I don't know how much longer I can keep going but I'll stick it out for the time being, I rather not worry anyone so that's why I decided to post this here where no one will see it
I get some hefty downer days to, but I try to press on and not get into the deluge of all the horrible bad news out there (and there sure is plenty) as it's too easy to spiral, like I've seen others done.