my mental health has been absolutely horrendous with me being around a specific person IRL and pushing myself to be someone I’m not, and cannot be. it feels horrible to force myself into a mold that I just never understood or could fit.
I feel trapped and I don’t know what to do right now. do I be honest and face absolute seething hatred? do I continue lying to myself and everyone else in the real human world?
I constantly need reassurance and permission to be myself but also I never get that from my family, and I don’t exactly have IRL friends
I kind of keep wishing everything would go away, I wish I could have a normal life but unfortunately I’m a bad person and I’m not happy with whatever god gave me