valid and relatable.
in my personal experience, it's not anything personal towards people, it's just the weight of sudden social expectations from someone i have no frame of reference for is deeply uncomfortable. i have no idea how to act and i short-circuit and then i have to sort that out. just not worth the loss in productivity for me, imo! if it's a commissioner then i can be in artist/sales/customer service mode, but someone i don't know from friends or talking in a server??? my brain is like wtf do we do??? DMs feel so intimate too, one-on-one convos are hard!

lmao it sounds insane when you break it down, but my brain will go in circles over the dumbest shit
and i'm just here like "NO! STOP! DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!" like it's a bad dog.

social expectation is a VERY good way of putting it. it's also an odd way of trying to make friends... i don't know, i feel a little uneasy when someone walks up to me in public asking to be friends, it's the same for the internet lol

exactly!
i'm just very bad at being put on the spot, except when it's like.. on my terms.
there's a whole host of mental health reasons for that, but it is what it is and i just try to live as peacefully as possible.
sometimes that just looks like establishing boundaries that protect my peace and headspace.
gotta prioritize safety and sanity!
hopefully this change lightens some of the stress for you <3

yes i agree, we all have to look out for ourselves, even at the cost of seeming "rude". i don't think it's rude at all to say when someone makes you uncomfortable, i think a lot of furries especially forget that because of the "love and peace only" mentality within the fandom, and then it's at the expense of someone feeling unsafe/uncomfortable :( but that's a whole other topic in itself lol