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Sad, struggling, but surviving
4 months ago
General
I've always suffered from depression but lately I've noticed a sad side effect :(
So recently I have noticed if I don't eat it makes my mood a lot worse, which I guess is normal. However the upshot of this is I've recently put on a lot of weight.
I put on my favorite outfit yesterday (my BITCHIN' Dungerees) and I looked in the mirror and i just felt so deflated.
My tummy is so big atm and in general there is fat everywhere.
I used to be so skinny, and I used to at least be able to keep it managable.
It feels like I fix (or shore up) one thing and another thing breaks.
But we abide. Just venting, I'll be ok.
So recently I have noticed if I don't eat it makes my mood a lot worse, which I guess is normal. However the upshot of this is I've recently put on a lot of weight.
I put on my favorite outfit yesterday (my BITCHIN' Dungerees) and I looked in the mirror and i just felt so deflated.
My tummy is so big atm and in general there is fat everywhere.
I used to be so skinny, and I used to at least be able to keep it managable.
It feels like I fix (or shore up) one thing and another thing breaks.
But we abide. Just venting, I'll be ok.
And I'm trying, working on the old meat computer currently (on the waiting list for a therapist and on stronger meds) so hopefully once I can work on the physical some more. I'd like to go to the gym just for the strength and to build up some resilience but baby steps first haha
*Sheep hugs*
It's weird, I'm like really fat positive with other people but I look at myself and I'm just like "Ew"