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Had to end a relationship with a non-furry.
3 months ago
So I dated someone for awhile. A non-furry. And it actually went well for a few months. But as time went on and I learned about her and her ideals, it dawned on me that I was extremely incompatible with her mostly because of one thing -- that I was a full-time NSFW furry artist.
She was religious and came from a religious background. And I knew that what I do is extremely taboo to her. No doubt that I would have to give up my art career that I had painstainkingly worked hard on if i were to go forward with this relationship. Leading her on and then revealing it later will only cause more harm than good, due to her commitment to her religion.
I spent a lot of time debating with myself. Wondering how many white lies do I have to tell before she found out eventually. It's been stressing me out a lot, because I knew the answer to this -- I had to break it off. Both for her sake and my sanity.
So I finally did it. The break up was mutual, more than anything. My suspicions were correct -- being a NSFW artist was a huge dealbreaker and her family would never be okay with it either. But at least we parted on good terms...I hope.
It still stung a little, but at the very least I have the peace of mind to continue doing what I do.
Just thought I'd get my thoughts out so I can get some proper sleep tonight.
She was religious and came from a religious background. And I knew that what I do is extremely taboo to her. No doubt that I would have to give up my art career that I had painstainkingly worked hard on if i were to go forward with this relationship. Leading her on and then revealing it later will only cause more harm than good, due to her commitment to her religion.
I spent a lot of time debating with myself. Wondering how many white lies do I have to tell before she found out eventually. It's been stressing me out a lot, because I knew the answer to this -- I had to break it off. Both for her sake and my sanity.
So I finally did it. The break up was mutual, more than anything. My suspicions were correct -- being a NSFW artist was a huge dealbreaker and her family would never be okay with it either. But at least we parted on good terms...I hope.
It still stung a little, but at the very least I have the peace of mind to continue doing what I do.
Just thought I'd get my thoughts out so I can get some proper sleep tonight.
My vore writing is also my job, and it's part of why I don't think I'll ever date anyone who isn't a furry, makes things easier to deal with since I'm public about it.
Take all the time you need to feel better about yourself, and be proud you chose honesty
Still, plenty of furries around at least, and much easier to deal with.
And thank you, I lucked out in having understanding IRL friends
I've dated a non-furry, non-alternative (gothic etc...) person only once, and I found it hard to connect even on non-furry stuff. Just weren't on the same wavelength.
But then, my first partner, who is a furry, still didn't vibe well with the Alternative facets of my life. So, even being both furries isn't a cure.
Though my current and hopefully forever partner is/was a gothic furry raver too. And we vibe very well.
Hopefully at least! I think I was trying to be open minded. But I supposed there was some naivety in that line of thinking, assuming I could get along well with a non-furry on a level that's deeper than just surface level or friendship. It might work out for some, but on this occasion it could never work.
I dunno how much is is a problem for non-furries and furries to have a relationship with - I imagine it shouldn't be a problem. You don't need to share everything with a partner and have in common with them, to love and appreciate and support them. But if there is something like this, where there could never be full appreciation and support from a partner towards something that is so fundamental to who you are, well, it's hard to form a basis of trust and connection.
I hope you one day meet a partner, who can appreciate your work and your talent as an artist, where you don't have to hide it.
But yeah....it's already tricky when i have to keep my career a secret to most of my IRL friends when they ask what i do. I don't know If I can hide it forever with a partner. Thank you for the sentiment.
Has similar experience were my partner has from religious family and wouldn't be accepting our relationship, but they wanted to keep (dismissive and narcissist) ties all while not want to honest to people around them - so they were the one broke up from me due to religious reasons. I was willing to fight for them - alas they didn't have to courage to confront them... later they went to different relationship only to muck it up by lying again - religion makes people to be dishonest, imo
Hurts a bit now, but a whole lot less than 10 years in sharing household and what not.
Problem is too: with such religious people there's always the high chance, they are just manipulative and sent out to be a kind of "missionary"(no pun intended) - especially when there like Jehova's witness and they don't admit that.
Also, it's kind of sad that these comments are jumping to conclusions about her when no one even knows anything about them. Not all religious people are the same, just like furrys and some are both.
People were not jumping to conclusions. Never made the claim that all religious people are the same either, so I wouldn't play devil's advocate just for the sake of it.
In any case I wish you the best of luck and happiness going forward.
I feel ya bro!
Never an easy process, so I hope you take the time you need and things go along well for you on it.
Sincerely,
The Cheshire Cat's Master
I get along best with people within the fandom, while it's not always perfect, I don't have to worry about being judged for being a NSFW artist.
You making that decision is something I think is very responsible, honest, mature and, most importantly, healthy. Decisions with long-term effects are the toughest to make but often the healthiest as well. I think it's good you made the decision and in time you'll find another partner who you'll be just as happy with
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Be unapologetically you, because you seem like an awesome person. You'll attract the right person when the time is right. I won't say everything happens for a reason, but there will be more.
Finding the right someone can take ages but worth it. I've found many wrong ones. I spent 10yrs hoping that the person i'm living with would work out... i saw all the red flags after 3 months living together. I didn't leave because i kept hoping on things that would change and never did. And i've paid for it every day since. Not physical harm, but neglect that has actually caused a ton of damage and i'm only just discovering in the last 3yrs with the help of someone who actually loves me the way i deserve. It's kinda crazy, really.
I've been out as a kinky/bdsm poly pan gynandromorph since high school. That at least scared off some types of wrong, but it's not perfect. I attracted a lot of negative energy because of my past. I'm mid 40s and only just now getting it right. I hope. We're almost at 4yrs together...but 2 different countries.
You've got a lot of people rooting for you, hoping your happy ending comes soon.
I do appreciate you (and others) sharing your personal stories in regards to the matter. It helps to put things into perspective that I'm not the only one that's undergoing challenges like this.
All I'm saying is that if you already know the answer, then do what you know is right. Better now then later.
I can imagine how hard it was. But I have no better idea either. I think you did the right call.
Stay strong fellow derg! <3
I think you dealt with it very well, and I'm glad you had the confidence to make that decision, and the awareness to get there in the first place.
Hoping things look up for you after this.