Unfortunately, per my last journal, my dog's health took a sharp turn this morning, and it's with a heavy heart that I have to announce we put her to sleep. On the 17th of August, she was diagnosed with congenital heart failure, and was given medicine, but Sunday night, she started vomiting and didn't stop. She couldn't hold her head up, couldn't hold down food, would throw up her water almost immediately. She would just collapse from exhaustion. We tried to get her seen yesterday but no vets near us had any availability other than emergency vets, which we couldn't afford. The visit itself wasn't the issue; no vet would simply check her, they all wanted to do expensive tests like MRIs and CT scans (which cost us close to 3 grand two years ago for her tumor surgery).

She got to lay in the sun for a long time today. I wish she had an appetite so I could've given her her favorite foods. She couldn't even look at us towards the end, her head was just too heavy. We don't know what caused it, but the vet told us that sometimes, some animals just don't bounce back from drastic health changes. If we had gotten her CHF diagnosed sooner, maybe she would've been okay. She did fine on her pills for the week she was on them so we don't know why she declined so sharply, she doesn't eat trash and my neighbors don't use pesticides. Sunday night, she was totally fine, and then she puked randomly (happens sometimes if she eats too fast) so we didn't think anything of it. Sometimes, she or Suku puke once or twice and they're totally fine but...not Sundance.

The vets were incredibly kind and gentle to both Sundance and us. She went comfortably underneath some blankets, and the first dose of anesthetic helped her finally get some rest after two days. I adopted her in April of 2016 and she's been my best friend ever since. This dog was velcro, with us when we were at our lowest, and was always good for a laugh. She would make meme-worthy faces, of which you can see on my Twitch immortalized as emotes. She loved her food, loved her ears rubbed, and loved being on the couch when I watch TV or under my feet when I was working. She'd so this weird little stretch every morning and start flopping around and moaning and groaning, biting at the blankets before getting comfy again. She'd spin in circles and bark whenever we fed her breakfast and dinner.

She was my best friend, and I wish it didn't end like this. She deserved a wonderful last of her life, not puking her guts up. She was supposed to be a mean old lady and 17 years old, skin and bones, not barely 11-12 and a walking mess of surgery scars and abuse from her former owners. She deserved the world, and I don't think I gave her that. God, I tried. We couldn't afford the cremation nor to keep her body, and I'm so fucking angry at myself for being disabled, for never having money. I want to see her again. I want to kiss her head. I want her to beg for pieces of my salad and growl at me when I don't give her a piece fast enough. I'll even miss picking up her poop and vacuuming her fur.

The fact she had to leave me on international dog day is the worst. It's the fucking worst.

Please. Don't get frustrated with your pets, you're their whole world. Give them hugs, give them kisses, give them toys and treats and pamperings and then give them some more. Do it while you still can. I was told my dog would have 6 months-14 months. She had eight days with me after that. It's not enough time. It was never enough time.

I love you, girl, so fucking much. You'll always be my best friend. Thank you for coming into my world when I needed you the most. I'm glad to have been your owner, and I'm so fucking glad that you went peacefully. We love you so much, and we'll see you again someday.

To Sundance, the greatest dog I could've ever owned.

2016-2025