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Why I kinda disappeared for 2 weeks
a week ago
This big post below is the reason why I wasn't very active artwise these last 2 weeks 🥹
A few weeks ago, I sold a design for 600 EUR. It was my biggest sale ever in terms of original designs and I got very excited about it.
I'm not new to selling my art and I have sold book covers for higher prices so I knew I should've waited to have the money in my bank account before celebrating... but I didn't. I told everyone I could about this stupid sale.
And the buyer backed out a few days later, for medical reason, which, fair of course.
I think it crushed me harder than I thought. I avoided drawing for an entire week, played games all day and scrolled on my phone until late in the night, feeling sick to my stomach : this could've paid me a very important thing for my health : a new tablet. My current tablet is perfect but I can't change its inclination anymore, and I'm basically a shrimp all day long because of it. It hurts my back a lot and I physically can't sit in this position for more than 2 hours.
Then, I had to pay around 300 eur in total for new glasses, which was a planned expense BUT it still hurt, knowing this sale could've paid half of it easily.
I did not sell anything else for the entirety of August, I was too disappointed and couldn't push myself to market even my regular and well-loved commissions. I feel like i let myself down.
I'm entering September with a catastrophic August because of this and I know it's entirely my fault.
After 5 years of freelancing, I shouldn't let myself have a depressive episode because of a lost sale : I had authors back away after I sent my final price, I had people go commission other artist, rejected artworks, etc. I have an amazing support in my partner, who helps me cover up for hard months.
But for some reason, this one failed sale hit me in the gut really hard.
Maybe it's because it sold really fast for so high ? Maybe it's because it did not sell later and I can't look at it without feeling guilt ? Maybe it's because I'm disappointed I told everyone about it and I think I jinxed it ? Maybe it's because I felt like selling designs for that much wasn't that hard ?
I'm not even that mad at the buyer, things happen in life, I'm more mad at myself for letting my art down for 2 weeks for no reason.
But still. Don't purchase something you can't buy. Artists are not big companies. It can hurt when you back away, even if your reason is valid.
This is the design btw ! Grace in the Sorrow
Honestl'y, I'd love to know what you think of this design, it would make my day a bit better <3
Thanks for reading my little vent, I think I needed to let it out ✨
A few weeks ago, I sold a design for 600 EUR. It was my biggest sale ever in terms of original designs and I got very excited about it.
I'm not new to selling my art and I have sold book covers for higher prices so I knew I should've waited to have the money in my bank account before celebrating... but I didn't. I told everyone I could about this stupid sale.
And the buyer backed out a few days later, for medical reason, which, fair of course.
I think it crushed me harder than I thought. I avoided drawing for an entire week, played games all day and scrolled on my phone until late in the night, feeling sick to my stomach : this could've paid me a very important thing for my health : a new tablet. My current tablet is perfect but I can't change its inclination anymore, and I'm basically a shrimp all day long because of it. It hurts my back a lot and I physically can't sit in this position for more than 2 hours.
Then, I had to pay around 300 eur in total for new glasses, which was a planned expense BUT it still hurt, knowing this sale could've paid half of it easily.
I did not sell anything else for the entirety of August, I was too disappointed and couldn't push myself to market even my regular and well-loved commissions. I feel like i let myself down.
I'm entering September with a catastrophic August because of this and I know it's entirely my fault.
After 5 years of freelancing, I shouldn't let myself have a depressive episode because of a lost sale : I had authors back away after I sent my final price, I had people go commission other artist, rejected artworks, etc. I have an amazing support in my partner, who helps me cover up for hard months.
But for some reason, this one failed sale hit me in the gut really hard.
Maybe it's because it sold really fast for so high ? Maybe it's because it did not sell later and I can't look at it without feeling guilt ? Maybe it's because I'm disappointed I told everyone about it and I think I jinxed it ? Maybe it's because I felt like selling designs for that much wasn't that hard ?
I'm not even that mad at the buyer, things happen in life, I'm more mad at myself for letting my art down for 2 weeks for no reason.
But still. Don't purchase something you can't buy. Artists are not big companies. It can hurt when you back away, even if your reason is valid.
This is the design btw ! Grace in the Sorrow
Honestl'y, I'd love to know what you think of this design, it would make my day a bit better <3
Thanks for reading my little vent, I think I needed to let it out ✨
