What am I even doing anymore??? (Hyenatember Update)
a month ago
I love to start projects and then not work on them.
The reality of things is I am an art hobbyist with adhd and a full time job.
The comic, skill gain, is not a dead project, but I'm at a sort of roadblock with it internally that I am not ready to force. That is definitely going to be a long term project and may not be as interesting to keep up with as it's released due to how long it can be between updates.
Almost all of my characters have some kind of relationship if not with each other, then with the world(s) they inhabit, or at the very least, myself. It all can seem like one big huge project to me sometimes, but I don't often portray it as such, beyond putting my characters in scenes with each other.
Jonas and Traxx are my gay boys who exist in the same world and country as Beth and Jackie, even though they take up wildly different roles. Normally it wouldn't make sense to have them interact, but my brain is like "It would be so funny if the gold star gay and the borderline misanthropic lesbian became friends because they're both on the same car forum". It's almost hard for me not to connect everything like that because it always makes it seem more interesting when everyone has some kind of 7 steps from Kevin bacon with each other.
I'm going through some crazy breakthroughs with early lore, why the furries exist and why they have figments of humanity (justifying the world being written by a human on earth) stuff. So that's taking up a lot of my head space.
On top of that I'm really working on putting out the first part of the journey Jackie and her mate Zack have. Its a thing that's existed in the lore for forever, but I've never really delved into it much. It was really hard for me to put myself into the heads of two people in their late 20s coming together and trying to have a family after being separated for years. Now that I'm almost 30 it's still daunting, but I feel like I can do better.
I know it always bummed people out that I had Jackie leave her life of helpless self-indulgence with Beth to go back to Zack after he returns home, nobody cares, she's a kink gratification character, I get it.
But it was always super important to me, and I always wanted to try to depict it in a way that would be satisfying to me at the very least.
A lot of my characters go through arcs that force them to reckon with incredibly indulgent lifestyles and questionable coping skills, which isn't usually what the people trying to jerk off care about, but I've been with these characters in my head for so long that they're more than that to me. It's hard to not put pressure on myself to be perfectionist about these depictions, but the more time goes on the more I realize I need to get these concepts, these relationships, and these character dynamics out there, and in front of people, instead of just keeping it in my head and slowly drip feeding it through subtext and offhanded snippets of text.
That being said I also have a super fun indulgent fic I've been editing and messing with. That's probably coming out before the above thing, but I'm not gonna pretend I know anything anymore.
Basically I'm doing a ton of shit at the same, have a ton of things already sort of happening, I'm not getting paid for any of it (I don't wanna get paid for any of it, if this was my job I'd hate it).
I should probably get my surface up and running again. My phone is doing fine for the little doodles here and there to keep me in shape, but even once I'm in the groove, sketchbook can be so annoying, but it's so much better than any other android app I've found for the Samsung galaxy note 20 (If you have any suggestions I'd take them, but Krita doesn't work, and I don't like iBispaintX or whatever.)
I also have to invent so many fucking cars because my stupid ass is so fucking stupid oh my god why did I do this why am I like this. I've been keeping track of them with cherry trees which is not what you're supposed to use that program for but IT LETS ME LINK NODES TOGETHER WHICH IS SO HELPFUL FOR KEEPING TRACK OF STUPID SHIT. I don't know enough about cars to do this LMAO.
If I had any advice I'd say don't try to do the grand theft auto thing for cars in your universe and just be a vague wet noodle about any specifics, but no, I need to be like "Yeah I'm pretty sure I need Beth to drive an EG civic but Honda doesn't exist in this universe so I need to invent a reason why there's a market for a small 2 door cheap sport hatchback at this time and place and then also I have to make a great value Honda civic and this is all only to satisfy my stupid car pervert brain. Nobody even cares about that pervert brain, everyone only cares about the BDSM feederism brain.
In conclusion, everyone who participates in motorsports has basically commodified their edging kink, and I will die on that hill.
I am spending so much of my free time playing no man's sky ok love u bye
The reality of things is I am an art hobbyist with adhd and a full time job.
The comic, skill gain, is not a dead project, but I'm at a sort of roadblock with it internally that I am not ready to force. That is definitely going to be a long term project and may not be as interesting to keep up with as it's released due to how long it can be between updates.
Almost all of my characters have some kind of relationship if not with each other, then with the world(s) they inhabit, or at the very least, myself. It all can seem like one big huge project to me sometimes, but I don't often portray it as such, beyond putting my characters in scenes with each other.
Jonas and Traxx are my gay boys who exist in the same world and country as Beth and Jackie, even though they take up wildly different roles. Normally it wouldn't make sense to have them interact, but my brain is like "It would be so funny if the gold star gay and the borderline misanthropic lesbian became friends because they're both on the same car forum". It's almost hard for me not to connect everything like that because it always makes it seem more interesting when everyone has some kind of 7 steps from Kevin bacon with each other.
I'm going through some crazy breakthroughs with early lore, why the furries exist and why they have figments of humanity (justifying the world being written by a human on earth) stuff. So that's taking up a lot of my head space.
On top of that I'm really working on putting out the first part of the journey Jackie and her mate Zack have. Its a thing that's existed in the lore for forever, but I've never really delved into it much. It was really hard for me to put myself into the heads of two people in their late 20s coming together and trying to have a family after being separated for years. Now that I'm almost 30 it's still daunting, but I feel like I can do better.
I know it always bummed people out that I had Jackie leave her life of helpless self-indulgence with Beth to go back to Zack after he returns home, nobody cares, she's a kink gratification character, I get it.
But it was always super important to me, and I always wanted to try to depict it in a way that would be satisfying to me at the very least.
A lot of my characters go through arcs that force them to reckon with incredibly indulgent lifestyles and questionable coping skills, which isn't usually what the people trying to jerk off care about, but I've been with these characters in my head for so long that they're more than that to me. It's hard to not put pressure on myself to be perfectionist about these depictions, but the more time goes on the more I realize I need to get these concepts, these relationships, and these character dynamics out there, and in front of people, instead of just keeping it in my head and slowly drip feeding it through subtext and offhanded snippets of text.
That being said I also have a super fun indulgent fic I've been editing and messing with. That's probably coming out before the above thing, but I'm not gonna pretend I know anything anymore.
Basically I'm doing a ton of shit at the same, have a ton of things already sort of happening, I'm not getting paid for any of it (I don't wanna get paid for any of it, if this was my job I'd hate it).
I should probably get my surface up and running again. My phone is doing fine for the little doodles here and there to keep me in shape, but even once I'm in the groove, sketchbook can be so annoying, but it's so much better than any other android app I've found for the Samsung galaxy note 20 (If you have any suggestions I'd take them, but Krita doesn't work, and I don't like iBispaintX or whatever.)
I also have to invent so many fucking cars because my stupid ass is so fucking stupid oh my god why did I do this why am I like this. I've been keeping track of them with cherry trees which is not what you're supposed to use that program for but IT LETS ME LINK NODES TOGETHER WHICH IS SO HELPFUL FOR KEEPING TRACK OF STUPID SHIT. I don't know enough about cars to do this LMAO.
If I had any advice I'd say don't try to do the grand theft auto thing for cars in your universe and just be a vague wet noodle about any specifics, but no, I need to be like "Yeah I'm pretty sure I need Beth to drive an EG civic but Honda doesn't exist in this universe so I need to invent a reason why there's a market for a small 2 door cheap sport hatchback at this time and place and then also I have to make a great value Honda civic and this is all only to satisfy my stupid car pervert brain. Nobody even cares about that pervert brain, everyone only cares about the BDSM feederism brain.
In conclusion, everyone who participates in motorsports has basically commodified their edging kink, and I will die on that hill.
I am spending so much of my free time playing no man's sky ok love u bye
FA+

also it's very valid that you want your characters to be more than just kink, especially when they live in a big world!!!