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So, About The Political Violence..
a month ago
There is no gift more precious or rare in this world than true love. Treasure those who share it with you.
I have a theory. Bit of a "hot take" as you kids call it but just loosen your sphincters, unclench your pearles and hear me out. We're all supposed to be adults here, being capable of reading comprehension, looking at other viewpoints with a critical eye and using what information we glean in an unemotional manner, a new resource -a grindstone by which we refine our own view. We change, all of us. We grow, a little.
Now. In the light of recent, well let's call it what it is, cult behaviour, the public displays of large rural groups, the increasing violence, kidnappings by masked men in broad daylight and a government outright refusing to denounce , perhaps even funding these actions, making only a token gesture to halt this problem and deal with what are plainly terrorists...
I think that I can say without a fear of reasonable contradiction that the inneffectial, immoral and utterly incompetent president hates his daughter, hates his secret police and has allied himself with forces who seek to kill her.
What? Wait, what? You thought I was talking about convicted 34-time felon, rapist, admitted child-predator, known accomplice and friend of convicted sex-trafficker Jeffry Epstein and violator of the constitution donald trump, felon47, the mutant mango who would be king?
Aw hell no. I dont wanna even THINK about what that Gephetto freak does with his daughter. We ALL know about that and that even gives ME the boo-boo-jeebies.
No, numbnuts! I'm talking about President Graham. THAT guy. The one from President Evil 4. His only daughter Ashley gets kidnapped. Their lead is a secretive bizarre violent cult operation somewhere in the remote forests of Spain where town doctors wear burlap sacks on their heads and run around with chainsaws. His ONLY daughter.
Now who does he send to get het back?
A highly-trained team of diplomats, negotiators, experts on international law to meet in neutral land with 3rd-party arbitration? No.
A crack squad of military specialists, like a team of Solid Snake, Sam Fischer, Ryu Hyabusa and Samus Aran to bring her back covert-style, no traces. Any means necessary? Nope again.
One guy with all the qualifications of "wandered into a viral outbreak of zombie juice his 1st day on thelocal police force. Bungled it so bad he had to flee the city as we glassed it with a cruise missle. Saved maybe two citizens"? Yeah! That's the guy. No grizzled-war vets. No black-ops specialists. Only the best "rookie cop from Midwestern nowheresville" for THIS mission.
But he has nice hair, killer abs, baby-soft skin and sassy-queen attitude. Like the love child of Joey Fatone and Lance Bass in their prime.
Everything president Graham is not.
I think between cue-ball's closet-case jealousy-turned-obsession over his suddenly high-profile bumbling rookie cop and his grating annoyance with his daughter who won't sit in a damn trash bin for five minutes to save her life, he set them both up to be scram-basqualated by some foreigners so he could sabre-rattle at their country for a tick, go up in the polls again and finally get some real peace at home.
Some will say it's just a theory. Maybe. Maybe.
But ask yourselves this,
Have you EVER heard of ... The Grumpinatii?
Now. In the light of recent, well let's call it what it is, cult behaviour, the public displays of large rural groups, the increasing violence, kidnappings by masked men in broad daylight and a government outright refusing to denounce , perhaps even funding these actions, making only a token gesture to halt this problem and deal with what are plainly terrorists...
I think that I can say without a fear of reasonable contradiction that the inneffectial, immoral and utterly incompetent president hates his daughter, hates his secret police and has allied himself with forces who seek to kill her.
What? Wait, what? You thought I was talking about convicted 34-time felon, rapist, admitted child-predator, known accomplice and friend of convicted sex-trafficker Jeffry Epstein and violator of the constitution donald trump, felon47, the mutant mango who would be king?
Aw hell no. I dont wanna even THINK about what that Gephetto freak does with his daughter. We ALL know about that and that even gives ME the boo-boo-jeebies.
No, numbnuts! I'm talking about President Graham. THAT guy. The one from President Evil 4. His only daughter Ashley gets kidnapped. Their lead is a secretive bizarre violent cult operation somewhere in the remote forests of Spain where town doctors wear burlap sacks on their heads and run around with chainsaws. His ONLY daughter.
Now who does he send to get het back?
A highly-trained team of diplomats, negotiators, experts on international law to meet in neutral land with 3rd-party arbitration? No.
A crack squad of military specialists, like a team of Solid Snake, Sam Fischer, Ryu Hyabusa and Samus Aran to bring her back covert-style, no traces. Any means necessary? Nope again.
One guy with all the qualifications of "wandered into a viral outbreak of zombie juice his 1st day on thelocal police force. Bungled it so bad he had to flee the city as we glassed it with a cruise missle. Saved maybe two citizens"? Yeah! That's the guy. No grizzled-war vets. No black-ops specialists. Only the best "rookie cop from Midwestern nowheresville" for THIS mission.
But he has nice hair, killer abs, baby-soft skin and sassy-queen attitude. Like the love child of Joey Fatone and Lance Bass in their prime.
Everything president Graham is not.
I think between cue-ball's closet-case jealousy-turned-obsession over his suddenly high-profile bumbling rookie cop and his grating annoyance with his daughter who won't sit in a damn trash bin for five minutes to save her life, he set them both up to be scram-basqualated by some foreigners so he could sabre-rattle at their country for a tick, go up in the polls again and finally get some real peace at home.
Some will say it's just a theory. Maybe. Maybe.
But ask yourselves this,
Have you EVER heard of ... The Grumpinatii?
And also a Bugsnax callout at the end, I believe.
Sorry for all ludicrous level of typos and such. I gave the piece a once-over when I was a skoshe more awake and fixed it up a tit-bit. Added a few point to be less vague and such. Still trying to get back in the groove of things.
Chandlo is a precious cinnamon roll and "Wholesome Gay Gymrat Bro" needs to be a character archetype.