Today it September 20th, 2025. My birthday was nine days ago and I got tarot cards for my birthday. Honestly, I've so glad to have these as they always had my interest. Occult stuff has also been an interest and fascination of mine. Like many other things. It's odd because what motivated me into finally getting them was the interactive novel Snoot Game.

It's funny... Snoot Game has literally been a significant turning point in my life. My creativity had returned, I actually started doing shit, started realizing how fucked a lot of things in life are, started actually coming to terms with how bad things actually are/were in my life, I started making music and drawing again. Snoot Game resonated with me so deeply that... That it literally changed almost everything for me. It's... it's kind of freaky because, Fang and I are so fucking similar, in so many ways, that... It hit home. And not just in an emotional level.

Now, I think the only thing left to do for me to get back into my creative endeavors again, is getting that motivation back. Sometimes it's there, and when it is, something almost always comes up and shuts the opportunity down. Then I end up losing that motivation and end up having to wait for how long just to get back into it. I hate it, because I love drawing, I miss drawing, I used to do it all the fucking time. What fuck happened? Why don't I have that motivation anymore?! I want it back! I want to be able to draw again! It was one of the only things that brought me a sense of meaning and now I struggle for it...