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Hello! aaand sorry... Please check it! It's important
a month ago
My graphics tablet is broken again, so I have to wait for a new one. In addition, I have been reassigned to treatment and IT is HIGHLY recommended that I go to the hospital, but I just can't find the strength for it. I'm sorry, I should have explained this to you personally, but I hope you can see this log because I'm a little embarrassed. I'll continue working as soon as I'm ready (I may need another week off) because right now I just sleep all day and my head is bursting with pain and panic attacks. I'm also sorry about this. Working at the computer for so many hours has brought me to a terrible state, I didn't even rest this summer (I spent my vacation helping my mom make repairs), so now I HAVE to take a break. Maybe I'll post some sketches or YCHs, and I'm still open to new orders! (I need to eat more haha... I lost 10 kilograms in 2 months due to stress, now I like my new weight, but I don't like the fact that I got it because I don't eat anything because I don't have the energy to cook or even go to the supermarket). I'll do my best, but I still need more time. I hope for your understanding! The anniversary of Misa's death is also approaching. I can't believe it's been so long. It all feels like a very long, terrible week to me, I'm crying so much because of it, it really broke me. I hope I'll feel better someday. And I hope he's happy and doesn't get hurt anymore. I miss him so much though...
Please don't feel embarrassed, you never need to apologize for being honest about what you are going through. Please take care of yourself. Your well-being is most important, so don't push yourself so much.
Cloudsen please take the brake and percipience in the recommended treatment. You will no one help going further the road and stress yourself more. Your health is prio one!!!
Stress and panic attacks are NOT good! I've had a number myself over the last few months. Though I didn't lose weight from it. I think it bumps my cortisol levels up which makes weight cling even though I don't eat very much either. Anyway, yeah, your thinking is right on, good you lost the weight, but not the way you did it.
Taking your treatment in the hospital might be a way for you to "reset" in a sense too. A change of scenery and a change of pace. At least for what I would assume would be a short-term stay. HOPEFULLY your treatment would be short-term!
That was sweet of you to help your mom. Good to help moms while we still have them! Maybe your's can visit you while you're taking treatment at the hospital? That would be someone familiar to visit with and would help give you a little normalcy too.
I don't think you have to worry about Misa. Once they cross the rainbow bridge, they're in Paradise, the only thing that they could want, is their owner/friend to join them (when their natural time comes). I miss every dog I've had, especially my last one, but I know they're all good, and that someday I'll get to see them again. Now, some humans, I do worry about their fate on the other side. Everyone has flaws, and there were some I didn't get on well with, including family. So I worry about them a bit, but, I hope and pray that the pains they went through in their lives mitigate the crap they pulled that negatively impacted me, and others. Gotta HOPE for the best, always.
Well, I've rambled on long enough. Whatever you do, I hope you make the best decision(s) for you. Take care of yourself, and I hope you start feeling better SOON!
Please make sure you eat more, dear. It'll be all the harder to maintain your strength if you don't.