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A Ponderment
2 months ago
General
I'm very shy, i have terrible stage fright and have quite a lot of depressive thoughts. I guess that comes from living in the second, no plan no past just one 4–8-hour concert after another. Sleep was rare but Vodka was and is still my best friend for sleep. I may be considered a drinker, but there are times when i wish to zone out and just sit there staring at a Daisy.
Life after the band seems long and dull, and i see every flaw that went ignored. some days i wonder if i could ever be what they thought i was. I have suffered losses, from mom, to my best friend, to my dad. Hundreds of fans lost to drugs, alcohol and self-harm.
That brings up Image, for the time when i was performing the image was of a wily apparently drug crazed fox. I partied a lot.
that is how everyone saw me how the expected me to be and how i was often told to be. Once We disbanded the Furred five what did we have?
Serena was dead, she had Valhalla. Gabby has her Millions. Trina has her beauty. Ari has her beloved Ireland. Angelica has her wings and her job. What do i have? Curves, dark shyness and my violin.
That's where Second life came in, there i could be the performer i knew. i could be perfect the way i always wanted to be. I suppose it was just another image, until 2 years ago. I found a great fox on SL but as you know that's just the image of perfection all Residents get. Death was still there, that fox died IRL while his avatar was dancing with mine. So creepy to realize that.
I still have my perfection in second life, but it is just another image.
Who am i? I'm near 50 and really don't know. I still have no specific image for me IRL. i doubt i ever will.
Always remember that you will never truly know who you are. Life is full of images you use. The best way to live relatively Happily is to decide what image you like best, and that will become you.
Life after the band seems long and dull, and i see every flaw that went ignored. some days i wonder if i could ever be what they thought i was. I have suffered losses, from mom, to my best friend, to my dad. Hundreds of fans lost to drugs, alcohol and self-harm.
That brings up Image, for the time when i was performing the image was of a wily apparently drug crazed fox. I partied a lot.
that is how everyone saw me how the expected me to be and how i was often told to be. Once We disbanded the Furred five what did we have?
Serena was dead, she had Valhalla. Gabby has her Millions. Trina has her beauty. Ari has her beloved Ireland. Angelica has her wings and her job. What do i have? Curves, dark shyness and my violin.
That's where Second life came in, there i could be the performer i knew. i could be perfect the way i always wanted to be. I suppose it was just another image, until 2 years ago. I found a great fox on SL but as you know that's just the image of perfection all Residents get. Death was still there, that fox died IRL while his avatar was dancing with mine. So creepy to realize that.
I still have my perfection in second life, but it is just another image.
Who am i? I'm near 50 and really don't know. I still have no specific image for me IRL. i doubt i ever will.
Always remember that you will never truly know who you are. Life is full of images you use. The best way to live relatively Happily is to decide what image you like best, and that will become you.
