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Life Ending and Time Passing
a month ago
As many of you know, my life has been… difficult the last few years. I’ve had it even worse lately and I’ve not been around.
My father, who I was quite close to and whom I’ve been helping to care for for the last 7 years passed away, and due to the president and his war on science, I was unable to take time away ti see him before he passed. I hate myself all the more for it. My life will never be the same.
I’ve lost other family members from the fallout. People who… turned out to be very unkind who I thought loved me. I was recently homeless this year, out of stubbornness and anger but still homeless. I don’t do drugs, never have, snd the stigma has followed me this whole year for living at a shelter. Not because I did anything wrong. But simply because I decided I wanted to be a scientist and try to help humanity.
Life has become… too hard… and it was already too hard before.
I know many of you have reached out worried About me. To you few I am eternally grateful. And to those who I thought would but never did… I honestly understand. We all have our demons and struggles. And I’m just words to many.
Thank you for those who genuinely cared. I don’t know if I’ll be back. Ever. But I appreciate you. I do. And I’m sorry.
My father, who I was quite close to and whom I’ve been helping to care for for the last 7 years passed away, and due to the president and his war on science, I was unable to take time away ti see him before he passed. I hate myself all the more for it. My life will never be the same.
I’ve lost other family members from the fallout. People who… turned out to be very unkind who I thought loved me. I was recently homeless this year, out of stubbornness and anger but still homeless. I don’t do drugs, never have, snd the stigma has followed me this whole year for living at a shelter. Not because I did anything wrong. But simply because I decided I wanted to be a scientist and try to help humanity.
Life has become… too hard… and it was already too hard before.
I know many of you have reached out worried About me. To you few I am eternally grateful. And to those who I thought would but never did… I honestly understand. We all have our demons and struggles. And I’m just words to many.
Thank you for those who genuinely cared. I don’t know if I’ll be back. Ever. But I appreciate you. I do. And I’m sorry.
If you are around, and need to talk to someone I'll do my best to be around for you. I believe that everyone matters, and I want you to be okay so you can push more good into the world.
Then in May my partner and I had to go through the painful experience of a miscarriage.. I withdrew from the world, only reaching out to a rare few people I thought of as friends, but otherwise hiding everything within. The pain was overwhelming at times.
I share these experiences not to try to say I have had it worse, or to compare our woes, but to show that I truly do understand how much pain can tear down a soul, wear us down one day at a time, little by little until it feels like its too much to bear. But there is always someone out there who cares..
Dont let the darkness consume you, There are always people that are willing to help, and provide some small light to the storm raging within. And slowly, as woth every storm, it will subside. No matter how strong a storm roils, there will always be a bright new dawn just waiting to break through and reveal the light on the other side.
You are a strong soul, and a fighter. Dont let this storm weather you down or break you.. You are kind, caring, and sweet, and the world can always be better with more people like you in it.. I hope to hear from you again one day, when you feel ready. And My ears and arms will always be open if you ever need either one. And I dont think Im the only one.