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Missing NaNo This Year
4 weeks ago
For a number of years, I have either participated in or attempted to participate in NaNoWriMo. For those who are not aware, November is National Novel Writing Month. In the past I've managed to finish several novel length projects. Editing them, is of course, another monster entirely. I have a good friend with whom we will send daily word counts. It's become sort of a tradition, a way to keep myself to schedule and to account and to make sure I was creating something. While I have only published one thing I wrote during NaNo (and that was years ago), I have finished drafts and have enjoyed the ritual, the process, the act of creation.
For the first time in a long time, I am going to not participate in NaNo.
There are many reasons why I am missing this year. Some are good, some are bad.
In the good category: I have a full-time position. I know that there are people who can write while working a 40-hour (or more job). However, I find that mornings (generally) are my most productive time. Unless I want to wake up at five in my morning for a month or more, I wouldn't be able to get the words down. That would lead me to stress, and that's never a good thing for the creative process. Closely tied with the full-time position is the reality that for the first five days of November (where I would expect at least 7,500 words at a minimum), I will be traveling for work. This is the first time I am going out of a state for work. This is an opportunity that I have worked hard to get, and I couldn't be more excited to take part in a conference.
In the bad category: One of my parents has been living with a degenerative illness since 2017. For a long time, the illness has been managed, has been handled, and we knew that there was no getting better. My family managed as best we could. Beginning about two years ago, there have been a series of incidents that have hinted things were about to get worse. Very recently, there was another issue that means, essentially, this parent is going to be entering hospice and receiving only palliative care.
This isn't easy, even knowing that it will come. I have been trying to brace myself, reading about the grief process, engaging in certain exercises, trying to focus on the positive, and more. However, the thing about grief? Even knowing an ending is coming, you still grieve. At least I am. While grief can inspire, can be transformed, molded, and become something beautiful, I don't know if I am able to transmute my grief. At least not know, at least not yet.
To everyone, anyone, who is doing NaNo this year, bonne chance à tous (good luck to all) And, non, that is not a confession I am a secret Francophone. Some things, at least personally, look fancier in French. However, I wish all the creatives who will participate in NaNo this year all the support they need and the ability to see their projects through, beginning to end.
To anyone, everyone, who is like me, grieving, anticipating grief, dealing with a dark cloud hanging over their shoulders, it might be little, it might not mean much from a random internet stranger, know that you are not alone.
For the first time in a long time, I am going to not participate in NaNo.
There are many reasons why I am missing this year. Some are good, some are bad.
In the good category: I have a full-time position. I know that there are people who can write while working a 40-hour (or more job). However, I find that mornings (generally) are my most productive time. Unless I want to wake up at five in my morning for a month or more, I wouldn't be able to get the words down. That would lead me to stress, and that's never a good thing for the creative process. Closely tied with the full-time position is the reality that for the first five days of November (where I would expect at least 7,500 words at a minimum), I will be traveling for work. This is the first time I am going out of a state for work. This is an opportunity that I have worked hard to get, and I couldn't be more excited to take part in a conference.
In the bad category: One of my parents has been living with a degenerative illness since 2017. For a long time, the illness has been managed, has been handled, and we knew that there was no getting better. My family managed as best we could. Beginning about two years ago, there have been a series of incidents that have hinted things were about to get worse. Very recently, there was another issue that means, essentially, this parent is going to be entering hospice and receiving only palliative care.
This isn't easy, even knowing that it will come. I have been trying to brace myself, reading about the grief process, engaging in certain exercises, trying to focus on the positive, and more. However, the thing about grief? Even knowing an ending is coming, you still grieve. At least I am. While grief can inspire, can be transformed, molded, and become something beautiful, I don't know if I am able to transmute my grief. At least not know, at least not yet.
To everyone, anyone, who is doing NaNo this year, bonne chance à tous (good luck to all) And, non, that is not a confession I am a secret Francophone. Some things, at least personally, look fancier in French. However, I wish all the creatives who will participate in NaNo this year all the support they need and the ability to see their projects through, beginning to end.
To anyone, everyone, who is like me, grieving, anticipating grief, dealing with a dark cloud hanging over their shoulders, it might be little, it might not mean much from a random internet stranger, know that you are not alone.
And I feel extra bad that it's been 15 hours and not one person commented