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This is so frustrating...
4 weeks ago
I didn't want to wipe and leave, I felt forced to for my own safety...
I want to come back. Every time I uploaded something, my inbox would explode with so many fave notifications that I gave up trying to keep track. That feeling of "wow, people actually like the dumb shit I make?" was pretty dang awesome. You were all so kind to me, telling me stuff like "that's the best of its kind I've ever seen" and silly nonsense like that. (seriously, danke; it was so cool getting to share my stuff with people that actually enjoyed it<3)
I want to come back, but every time the last alarm quiets down, another one goes off. Whenever I cozy up to the idea of posting again, some new fiasco comes to my attention. This country seems to be starting a war against anything lewd, anything it deems inappropriate or unacceptable, anything an inch outside the most prudish sexual norms, even people expressing their identities through their own bodies.
I have a lot of views and interests that this country is expressing more and more vitriol against; I fear I'll post smut and share lewd thoughts and it'll go hunky-dory for a few years, until one day some masked badgeless dudes show up at my door and say some shit like (the following is satire; for your own sanity, please do not attempt to be offended) "You are under arrest for violation of Our Beautiful God-Emperor's most sanctimonious doctrines, including the Protection Against Perversion Act, Transgender Abolition Act, and the spreading of anti-human ideology. Do not resist or we will use force."
I made all that up and I made it sound like paranoid insanity on purpose. Because if you described some of the stuff that's happening today to someone ten or fifteen years ago, they would've said... it sounds like... made-up paranoid insanity. I have no way of knowing if this clown train has working brakes or not, and can't know until it either stops safely or goes flying off the end of the rails. I do know I've seen powerful people working very hard specifically to remove as many brakes as they can.
I know a tonne of other furry smut artists are continuing as normal, so sometimes I wonder if my complete social isolation is just making me crazy. It's not even that I spend all my time doomscrolling; no, I watch uplifting and educational stuff, play games like Satisfactory, make smut in private, fun good stuff like that. It's just, the occasional pieces of unfolding reality that sometimes slip past my ongoing attempt at blissful ignorance are actually fucking horrifying, and I've always been extremely risk-averse in everything I do. Stick-avoidance over carrot-seeking, as it were.
I have no idea how to end this. This isn't the kind of journal I want to be posting, not the kind of vibe I want to spread. I want my page to be a shrine to eroticism, a celebration of passion, but... guess I worry too much. Let's hope things just calm down and tolerance becomes the norm again soon...
https://youtu.be/ZJWQS_3JBFg?si=ntL.....C_X7i&t=20
I want to come back. Every time I uploaded something, my inbox would explode with so many fave notifications that I gave up trying to keep track. That feeling of "wow, people actually like the dumb shit I make?" was pretty dang awesome. You were all so kind to me, telling me stuff like "that's the best of its kind I've ever seen" and silly nonsense like that. (seriously, danke; it was so cool getting to share my stuff with people that actually enjoyed it<3)
I want to come back, but every time the last alarm quiets down, another one goes off. Whenever I cozy up to the idea of posting again, some new fiasco comes to my attention. This country seems to be starting a war against anything lewd, anything it deems inappropriate or unacceptable, anything an inch outside the most prudish sexual norms, even people expressing their identities through their own bodies.
I have a lot of views and interests that this country is expressing more and more vitriol against; I fear I'll post smut and share lewd thoughts and it'll go hunky-dory for a few years, until one day some masked badgeless dudes show up at my door and say some shit like (the following is satire; for your own sanity, please do not attempt to be offended) "You are under arrest for violation of Our Beautiful God-Emperor's most sanctimonious doctrines, including the Protection Against Perversion Act, Transgender Abolition Act, and the spreading of anti-human ideology. Do not resist or we will use force."
I made all that up and I made it sound like paranoid insanity on purpose. Because if you described some of the stuff that's happening today to someone ten or fifteen years ago, they would've said... it sounds like... made-up paranoid insanity. I have no way of knowing if this clown train has working brakes or not, and can't know until it either stops safely or goes flying off the end of the rails. I do know I've seen powerful people working very hard specifically to remove as many brakes as they can.
I know a tonne of other furry smut artists are continuing as normal, so sometimes I wonder if my complete social isolation is just making me crazy. It's not even that I spend all my time doomscrolling; no, I watch uplifting and educational stuff, play games like Satisfactory, make smut in private, fun good stuff like that. It's just, the occasional pieces of unfolding reality that sometimes slip past my ongoing attempt at blissful ignorance are actually fucking horrifying, and I've always been extremely risk-averse in everything I do. Stick-avoidance over carrot-seeking, as it were.
I have no idea how to end this. This isn't the kind of journal I want to be posting, not the kind of vibe I want to spread. I want my page to be a shrine to eroticism, a celebration of passion, but... guess I worry too much. Let's hope things just calm down and tolerance becomes the norm again soon...
https://youtu.be/ZJWQS_3JBFg?si=ntL.....C_X7i&t=20
Doesn't help that its become a social phenomena due to a rise in fascism.
*sarcasm* just "Mad Stan" yer whole house, if you feel that intruders may be a credible threat, at least you'll have had the last laugh *end sarcasm*
Stop feeding these assholes ideas... That's been my mantra... Feed ideas to those you want to win
Social isolation will fuck you up, I should know, I've been there. But with the country the way it is, avoiding people can also be a safe haven... I'd say try and find some sort of balance you can find satisfaction in.
You should plan for whatever you deem necessary... Like Huey in season 3 of The Boondocks. Don't overdo it, but do just enough in a way that lets you be at peace. Sometimes you'll find that its tiring, and maybe you need to dial it back a bit. Go with your gut, its often more reliable than you think.
In this reality it feels like all the mean people get the carrot, while the good get the stick.
The only way to free yourself from that reality is to create your own. Live in that one. If not physically, then mentally or spiritually. All the best dood.