I’m Thomas the man now but i feel solemn and dead inside. Thing is I don’t know why i feel this way. I have an earth pony fursona which is good and my parents respect me and love me now and I have no problems at work and I dont have to worry about my rights taken away anymore but something still feels off. I know I always thought i was a boy from childhood and was always fine with it but i feel something is missing in my life and I dont know if my gender is the problem or something else like a lack of personal connection or creativity. I dont know if being a woman is the right thing for me as Im not a real woman but at the same time I’m just not what people think of when they think of a man. I’m happy liking my little pony and Polly pocket and I feel those things feel me but i dont feel the same about action toys and bionicle, though I do remember loving trains as a little girl (dang it i was a boy not a girl, stupid brain). I dont hate my name Thomas but i dont relate to the girly names that are different from Thomas. I dont relate to being genderfluid or anything like that. I’m just holding this burden in my mind and need to let it out.