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still alive for now!
a week ago
Wow, 2025 ain't great. My grandpa passed after a long fight with chemo; and now, my ma is battling congestive heart failure, a leaking mitral valve, and two completely clogged main arteries (the surgeon referred to it as "the widowmaker"). Oh, and AFib, cos why not.
Just spent an entire 5 days in the hospital, then chasing after the ambulance as they shipped her upstate to an even bigger hospital. There was a lot to unpack, I'm trying to stay strong for everyone but I don't know for sure if this is gonna end well. The doctors say she has a low likelihood of survival, but if she does make it past the bypass surgery, she'll be recovering for a good 6-12 months.
Which basically means I'm caregiving again, but more so--I'm gonna try to see about getting home health or something cos if I'm doing this alone all day every day like my grandpa, I'll be out of a job and have no time for comms. So far, my running plan is to order a SHIT ton of acrylic standees to sell throughout the first 6-8 weeks or ever how long.
It's hard, and it's gonna get harder, and harder. I thought I knew what fear was back with the cancer--oooh this is a different story cos it's like a ticking time bomb. Just cos they survive the surgery doesn't mean shit--my pa died in the ICU after a "successful" ileostomy, 3 hours after the fact. And no one was there. All alone, because family. Don't. Mean. Shit.
TLDR I'll draw more titties when I'm able to, hi. Thanks for everything :)
Just spent an entire 5 days in the hospital, then chasing after the ambulance as they shipped her upstate to an even bigger hospital. There was a lot to unpack, I'm trying to stay strong for everyone but I don't know for sure if this is gonna end well. The doctors say she has a low likelihood of survival, but if she does make it past the bypass surgery, she'll be recovering for a good 6-12 months.
Which basically means I'm caregiving again, but more so--I'm gonna try to see about getting home health or something cos if I'm doing this alone all day every day like my grandpa, I'll be out of a job and have no time for comms. So far, my running plan is to order a SHIT ton of acrylic standees to sell throughout the first 6-8 weeks or ever how long.
It's hard, and it's gonna get harder, and harder. I thought I knew what fear was back with the cancer--oooh this is a different story cos it's like a ticking time bomb. Just cos they survive the surgery doesn't mean shit--my pa died in the ICU after a "successful" ileostomy, 3 hours after the fact. And no one was there. All alone, because family. Don't. Mean. Shit.
TLDR I'll draw more titties when I'm able to, hi. Thanks for everything :)
Glad that you can still be there for her right now though. Any time you can share with her will have a huge impact for you both.
Wishing you both the best of luck, and yes, definitely reach out for any available home help.
We enrolled my Mom in Hospice services, (state covers the costs) and it turned out to be a huge help for us all during the last few months of her life. They really do a lot of good work.
I can speak from experience that was a moment that truly changed how i saw life, right now its just me and my older brother and his family to look out for each other, we plan on moving next year. (gotta wait on the probate on the house and shit)
We all have to starting going through the same endeavors at some point in our lives, regardless of who we are, at the end of the day, we sure as hell can't get over our loss, but we can always find a way to persevere.
The really sad part is that he was already struggling with ALS. I understand your pain all too well, my friend.
I’ve been thinking of commissioning you when I’m eventually ready so I can be of help
Still hoping things get better for you, you're really talented and I love what you do so don't give up,
Consider some escape plan after your mother no longer needs your assistance. The others can learn to stand on their own.
All I can really do is hope and pray for you and your family’s wellbeing 🙏
And if you need an ear, lemme know.
Thank you for existing, I mean it
Keep in touch DullVivid even if we don't hear good news
I wish you all the best of luck, and hope everything goes as smoothly as possible of ya!
I won't say any more. As before, I wish you the best.
im just gonna go and do what i gotta
All that said, yes, home health services (or dog forbid hospice care) will help SO MUCH, so do everything you can to pursue that.
Without the mom, well, yeah.
But yeah, I'm very suspicious about home health and anything these days--the dudes in the ambulance that I chased out of state to the big hospital were "inexperienced" and it freaked her the hell out.
I spent hours soaking water into a sponge and dabbing water into her mouth cause she couldn't drink anything.
Honestly this sounds worse, my grandmother went fast just like she always wanted, no lingering, no surgeries, she hated the idea of not being independent and never wanted to be taken care of.
It's terrifying to think you could have kept someone alive by working a bit harder, caring a little more. Don't think that, you're doing more than anyone from the sound of it.
I know it don't mean much from a random fucker on the net, but please take care of yourself through all this. Do your best, but don't grill yourself over things you can't control or can't be reasonably expected to tackle all by yourself.
i MIGHT be unable to produce content for a while but hey, we'll see.