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Rest in peace, my love...
5 months ago
General
I'm writing this too soon. Way too soon. But I don't know what else to do. I feel empty. Devastated. Hurt.
Last night, my beloved
daylith was found dead. Likely of diabetic coma, time will tell. He was good at hiding things so others wouldn't worry. He told me he wasn't feeling well but I figured it was something he ate and when I got no news, I figured he fell asleep. By the end of the day I got worried so I had someone check on him... and he was already gone. I still can't believe it. I keep hoping it's a bad joke to freak me out or a stupid nightmare I'll wake up from. But no, this is all too real.
20 years of my life, gone in a flash. Stolen from us. But don't worry, my love, I hold nothing against you. I wish I had warned someone. I just wish I had more... more of everything but most of all, more time...
I just hope you haven't suffered too much. I don't want to think about that. I barely remember last night, it's all a blank. I remember getting the call and then... I don't know.
I barely slept. I'm a mess. All I can think about is what I could have done, what I should have done. I know it's unhealthy but I guess it's what we all do in this situation.
I think I've cried all the tears in my body at this point. I'm so far from my in-laws who hurt just as much, seperated by over 1000 miles and country lines.
I'll leave it to this for now. I can't do it, I'm too hurt. Know that I love you, NIck. I always will, no matter what.
Rest for now, my dearest love. I'll be strong, I promise.
We shall we be together again one day.
Last night, my beloved
daylith was found dead. Likely of diabetic coma, time will tell. He was good at hiding things so others wouldn't worry. He told me he wasn't feeling well but I figured it was something he ate and when I got no news, I figured he fell asleep. By the end of the day I got worried so I had someone check on him... and he was already gone. I still can't believe it. I keep hoping it's a bad joke to freak me out or a stupid nightmare I'll wake up from. But no, this is all too real. 20 years of my life, gone in a flash. Stolen from us. But don't worry, my love, I hold nothing against you. I wish I had warned someone. I just wish I had more... more of everything but most of all, more time...
I just hope you haven't suffered too much. I don't want to think about that. I barely remember last night, it's all a blank. I remember getting the call and then... I don't know.
I barely slept. I'm a mess. All I can think about is what I could have done, what I should have done. I know it's unhealthy but I guess it's what we all do in this situation.
I think I've cried all the tears in my body at this point. I'm so far from my in-laws who hurt just as much, seperated by over 1000 miles and country lines.
I'll leave it to this for now. I can't do it, I'm too hurt. Know that I love you, NIck. I always will, no matter what.
Rest for now, my dearest love. I'll be strong, I promise.
We shall we be together again one day.
I just found out about your journals. Sorry, I barely keep up with FA Journals.
I was just passing in front of your old apartment last week and been thinking of you 2 and when you visited my place. It has been a please meeting you and Daylith.
Pleasure has been ours as well. Hard to believe it's already been almost half a year. It all happened so fast. In the end, the one good thing that might have come out of this, is that I've come out of the closet as a squeaky of my own (Rubber!) and I feel at peace with myself and I know he's smiling up there (and probably expecting Rubber to float up there hah! ^__^;;;)