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11/25/25 - Contemplations
5 months ago
General
To all who may be reading this,
A while ago I said I was going to go on hiatus regarding posting things, largely on account of me having felt like I lost the picture of things. For a long time, I have a bad habit of going back and forth on whether I'm doing this for the attention (which I always felt like was a negative thing to do, in most contexts), or if I'm doing this to be part of a community, or if simply because I just want to post whatever I think is cool and/or interesting. A lot of times I feel like these three things get blurred into one another, and so I just don't really know what I want to do truly.
Procrastination, inconsistency, or just feeling like I'm repeating myself. I'm aware there's still people seeing what I've contributed to this site; it's just, at times, I feel like I'm trying too hard. Spend too much time making three to four paragraphs writing what could basically be amounted to a summarized wikipedia article (which, coming from hindsight, makes me look like a fraud intellectually to be honest). I don't really lurk around this site as often as I did a few years ago anyways, largely because of things in real life that have been more important (as it should be, of course).
I still have a boat of tank pics from April. Christmas is coming up. I'm most likely just going to ditch trying to put "lore" into these future tank pics UNLESS it's a tank I REALLY want to talk about. And that's part of the problem I've made for myself. I've started talking about ALL the tanks instead of just the weird ones or the ones I like to talk about. If I'm being real here, probably only a quarter of my uploads that aren't lego/non-museum posts are what I would consider happy with. I could maybe redo them, but doing so really won't fix anything, I feel. Maybe I'm just overthinking this, and I just happen to be in a mental slump. It's not the first time I've had that.
Although I have my doubts as to whether I'll get any feedback, I really would appreciate some advice or suggestions on what I should do first, or how I should go about this. The answers may be staring me in the face as I write this, but at the moment I'm blind to them. That said, I thank you for taking the time to read this, if you are reading this; Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. Look forward to 2026.
Procrastination, inconsistency, or just feeling like I'm repeating myself. I'm aware there's still people seeing what I've contributed to this site; it's just, at times, I feel like I'm trying too hard. Spend too much time making three to four paragraphs writing what could basically be amounted to a summarized wikipedia article (which, coming from hindsight, makes me look like a fraud intellectually to be honest). I don't really lurk around this site as often as I did a few years ago anyways, largely because of things in real life that have been more important (as it should be, of course).
I still have a boat of tank pics from April. Christmas is coming up. I'm most likely just going to ditch trying to put "lore" into these future tank pics UNLESS it's a tank I REALLY want to talk about. And that's part of the problem I've made for myself. I've started talking about ALL the tanks instead of just the weird ones or the ones I like to talk about. If I'm being real here, probably only a quarter of my uploads that aren't lego/non-museum posts are what I would consider happy with. I could maybe redo them, but doing so really won't fix anything, I feel. Maybe I'm just overthinking this, and I just happen to be in a mental slump. It's not the first time I've had that.
Although I have my doubts as to whether I'll get any feedback, I really would appreciate some advice or suggestions on what I should do first, or how I should go about this. The answers may be staring me in the face as I write this, but at the moment I'm blind to them. That said, I thank you for taking the time to read this, if you are reading this; Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. Look forward to 2026.
Now, if you're wondering whether you do it for attention, because you belong to a community, or simply for fun, think about this: when you post something, do you pay attention to the comments and likes?
And if so, how important are they to you? How do you feel when you see them? Because most likely, if you don't value those things and every time you post something you feel happy, liberated, and at ease with yourself, it's more about enjoying yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting to belong to a community, as long as you enjoy what you're doing and it makes you feel comfortable.
As for whether you're putting too much pressure on yourself, it would depend on how much it affects your daily life. If it interferes with important things, you could say yes, that it takes up more of your time than usual. In any case, you could set a specific time to write and not rush. Take your time and don't limit yourself to just writing. Post whatever you want, regardless of whether people will read a long post or not. The important thing is that you're happy with the result.
Well, honestly, I don't know if my comment will help or clarify anything, just do what you want (within the website's rules, of course xD). After all, this is your creative space, and if you like talking about tanks, go ahead, write and share what you know and like, regardless of what others say. Just be yourself (nwn)