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I don't like asking for help (medical bills)
a week ago
General
I grew up poor, still am
I grew up being taught to do stuff yourself. do not depend on anyone, you can't depend on anyone, never ask for help.
maybe not those exact words, but that's what everything chalked up to.
because of that I try to do everything on my own, try to fix anything by myself.
but I'm at that point where I just can't.
as you all know, March 15th 2025 I ended up going to the ER for an emergency surgery to remove my Appendix. They said it was essentially life or death and it had to be removed or I'd risk losing my life.
This unfortunately added up to become several bills totaling up to $24,000
and as you all know, I do art full time. I have had several jobs in the past and was met with constant unjust work conditions from abuse of scheduling circumstances (they would knowingly schedule me so that I'd be working 10 days in a row) , or just plain verbal abuse.
because of that I jumped into doing Art full time
this has been both a blessing and a curse
Being able to do what I love all the time has been amazing
I even get to decide to take a day off when i need to
I don't get verbally or emotionally abused by employers/supervisors.
but every good thing has a downside
I have to pay for my own health insurance.
I make barely too much for free health insurance.
health insurance is expensive.
as such I have to pay that $24,000 bill out of pocket.
I am on a payment plan but it has caused me tremendously insane.
I can't get financial assistance from them because I make too much for financial assistance/forgiveness
and debt collectors keep calling me to collect despite being on a payment plan
this debt has caused me stress, depression and even pushed me to questioning my own self worth, if it was even worth going through with choosing life over risking the worst.
but this has been causing me tremendous stress.
to the point where I'm not joking when I say I'm losing my hair over this.
I won't get any where saving with this medical debt looming over me, weighing down on me.
I've even had to make a moderately large payment.
it's down to about $18,000 now
again, I don't like asking for help. I don't like relying on anyone
at this point any help is welcome, any assistance.
I don't have a go-fund me set up for this
but I'll leave my Ko-fi here at the least
https://ko-fi.com/benjisart
or even cashapp, or any other way
unfortunately can't do paypal anymore cause even they decided to fuck my life over.
I'm at my limit and just don't know what to do anymore.
aside from that I have my Subscribestar, Patreon, and I stream Monday-Friday, and I'm trying to catch up with Owed Commissions so I haven't been taking in stream comms lately
but any kind of support will be going towards that medical debt directly.
I grew up being taught to do stuff yourself. do not depend on anyone, you can't depend on anyone, never ask for help.
maybe not those exact words, but that's what everything chalked up to.
because of that I try to do everything on my own, try to fix anything by myself.
but I'm at that point where I just can't.
as you all know, March 15th 2025 I ended up going to the ER for an emergency surgery to remove my Appendix. They said it was essentially life or death and it had to be removed or I'd risk losing my life.
This unfortunately added up to become several bills totaling up to $24,000
and as you all know, I do art full time. I have had several jobs in the past and was met with constant unjust work conditions from abuse of scheduling circumstances (they would knowingly schedule me so that I'd be working 10 days in a row) , or just plain verbal abuse.
because of that I jumped into doing Art full time
this has been both a blessing and a curse
Being able to do what I love all the time has been amazing
I even get to decide to take a day off when i need to
I don't get verbally or emotionally abused by employers/supervisors.
but every good thing has a downside
I have to pay for my own health insurance.
I make barely too much for free health insurance.
health insurance is expensive.
as such I have to pay that $24,000 bill out of pocket.
I am on a payment plan but it has caused me tremendously insane.
I can't get financial assistance from them because I make too much for financial assistance/forgiveness
and debt collectors keep calling me to collect despite being on a payment plan
this debt has caused me stress, depression and even pushed me to questioning my own self worth, if it was even worth going through with choosing life over risking the worst.
but this has been causing me tremendous stress.
to the point where I'm not joking when I say I'm losing my hair over this.
I won't get any where saving with this medical debt looming over me, weighing down on me.
I've even had to make a moderately large payment.
it's down to about $18,000 now
again, I don't like asking for help. I don't like relying on anyone
at this point any help is welcome, any assistance.
I don't have a go-fund me set up for this
but I'll leave my Ko-fi here at the least
https://ko-fi.com/benjisart
or even cashapp, or any other way
unfortunately can't do paypal anymore cause even they decided to fuck my life over.
I'm at my limit and just don't know what to do anymore.
aside from that I have my Subscribestar, Patreon, and I stream Monday-Friday, and I'm trying to catch up with Owed Commissions so I haven't been taking in stream comms lately
but any kind of support will be going towards that medical debt directly.
Please consider supporting me by pledging, you get access to sketches, wips, full pics, exclusive pics, bonuses and more!
Patreon here
Patreon here 
Fuck healthcare honestly. Next time I need lifesaving care I'm not providing ID and walking out.
from growing up and being taught to not financially rely on others, the whole bullshit with working conditions and been taken advantage of from employers.
And how doing Art became both a blessing and a Curse for me since...
for the same reasons.
And now being abused by the very system you're paying taxes into,
giving you a fine for not wanting to die (that's basically what it is, they fine you for something out of your control and expect you to pay it off over a couple of years)
But BENJI... that does not define your self-worth!
It kinda resonates (again) with other issues my friends were facing and they all have the same abuser that forces them to value their self-worth to shit like that.
The abusive American System that tries to decide whenever they are valueable or not.
DO NOT let a blood sucking parasite tell you something about worth.
Sadly i'm not able to help out financially since i'm also paying shit off...
(Dependend on disability aid, so i'm not allowed to work outside of regulations who actively abuse disabled people to be low payment workers in bad conditions, else they would cut my disability aid which i cannot live without. But i'm also not making enough commissions to support myself fully every month, to not be dependend on disability aid. Most of my commission money is now being held onto by my BF which he then gives me back in cash to buy groceries and stuff so it can't be tracked in my banking)
But that's not my fault, neither is it your fault to have your appendix removed.
Don't do something stupid, even if things get bad.
Find people to talk to, don't be always alone with your thoughts.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you can at least get some support to ease the financial burden on you, even if it's just smaller amounts.
Stay Strong *hugs*
Bad things can sometimes seem overbearing, but focus on the good things. even if there are not many right now. even if they seem small. It helps.
I am sure you will find your way out of this situation in time and there will come better times for you.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me.
Good luck
Many hospitals try scamming patients by adding a bunch of ridiculous things at ridiculous prices, things that are basically illegal to add but they do anyway because the final bill they give you is a lump sum which hides that. The fact that they have you on payment plan and still send you to collections tells me this is probably one of those hospitals.
So please, ask them for that. I've heard of people whose bill went down by like half the moment the hospital was forced to actually list things properly.
Also when you have the time, sit down and google or youtube this. Search keywords like "US hospital bill help" and such. There is tons and tons of resources out there for how you can lower hospital bills, everything from what I mentioned (itemized bills) to looking into the laws of your state and finding somewhat hidden clauses that lets you lower the bill or be forgiven for part if it even if you think you are "over the income limit".
So sorry you're dealing with all of this.