Negativity is one hell of a demotivator ain't it, the drama regarding my name, a lot of it being my fault, how can i try to be an artist or 3d modeler with a very bad reputation, heres the thing, i can't, once something bad is done, it is set in stone to be part of your life's story, while what i did was not illegal or anything, its still bad to chase after those who you've burned bridges with, if they don't wanna see you, such should be respected, one must never try to change their ways in the hopes of getting a applause from someone who wants nothing to do with you and will never see it happen, no amount of improvement can truly change how many view you, dwelling on it all doesn't help either, all that must be done is to acknowledge what had already been done, and move on, well excluding pedos and etc obviously, those who condone illegal acts don't get a right to try to improve and move on.