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Operation: Rally(I have a plan)
4 weeks ago
General
Hi everyone, before I get into this journal I just want to give a huge thank you to 
Lucario-J , 
Castrovalva and to my fur mom 
wolf-9 for the comments they have left on my two updates, I know I have just been tumbling around and basically wallowing, but huge thank you for your understanding and support, I may not always respond but I always read them. *Hugs*
As everyone can see above I have come up with a plan, after my venting I deciding to take Sunday to try to come up a plan and to do some re-evaluation in order to try to help bring myself back into things as I am tired of limbo and rather than try to comeback all at once I have decided to start small and try to work back to it. Especially since my focus has been on the wrong things and the problem is I have been focused soley focused on the negative rather than the positive.
For a start and to get it out of the way I need to talk about how writing is going to go. For a start the Magna-Verse writing line is going to be put on hold and effectively all fanfiction will be canceled. I feel I have put all my eggs in one basket and it does show, plus I am tired of feeling overworked, I mean how it use to go is I would spend about 4-5 days typing a part, look it over and straight after posting it work on the next part while trying to work everything else around it, basically for every one minute of reading took about an hour of typing give or take. So outside of descriptions for drawing/model submissions, writing will basically cease until further notice. The crashing as I result of the writing thing basically ended up filtering into me losing interest in practically everything which is a huge reason why I am stopping it.
Models and miniatures which I know are a niche will still be relitively uncommon and I already have a good sized anthro model selected for when I reach my next watcher goal. Focus of models will be on my Astartes as they still require a lot of attention. Some stuff may be sprinkled here and there along the line.
As for the drawing side of things, I am going to try to make that my main focus. It is a lot more harder for me to learn and try to improve but I have been meaning to work more on it, heck I haven't used Krita in forever and need to try to get back into it. I really do want to try to improve my drawing, it'll just take me a ton of time as my autism has a harder time with it, not to mention trying to use a drawing tablet feels very alien to me because I don't have the feedback of the paper. That being said though I can tell my drawing has gotten better... especially when it comes to female characters because... yikes they use to be horrid and pretty cursed ^^;
Next thing I have been thinking about is how I want to handle the rp stuff. I think I am going to scale it back to where I only really do it with those I know and no longer have it so open given I can only keep track of so many.
I am still working slowly on things but cutting out the part of content I have the most issue with I think is the best way to go because I have put so much on it... honestly way too much. Things are still hit or miss right now, but after taking yesterday to just lean back and think after I unloaded a lot, I honestly feel a little better.
So I do have an idea of how to try to get back ontrack now, I still feel burned out but I did notice after deciding to cut out the writing I felt a lot better after a few minutes, still feel a little off and tired but I'll take the small wins and breaths of relief as they come.
Also some great news, in addition to the vehicle I was able get my hands on, I remembered I have some Apothecaries and a Master of Signals for my Dark Angels, they just require to be painted, they have actually been assembled and primed for a while, I just forgot about them and currently I am throwing paint on them.
I think I needed the past year to just relax, I just didn't realize just how wound up and feeling down I was, I am still going to take it slow but the main thing is I think I have figured out a plan that will work.
Another thing that needs to be said is this, while I haven't done that many of them I will never do any writing requests ever again reguardless of who asks. If I do get back into it, I am going to write what really suits me.
Speaking of requests, I use to offer them in a general way but overtime I decided to restrict them, not from too many requests but because no one was really interested in it. And so I have long since decided to move to an art trades system which I doubt will cover much ground and I will update my profile description when I feel more up to it. So requests in general are gone and never coming back. I know my art isn't the best, but like I said I also know it has come a long way from how it use to be, not sure when or if my skills will get as strong as some artists on here, but I do want to try, like I said for me it is a lot slower. My brain handles traditional art better because that is what I am use to and the feedback from the paper helps, on a tablet I just feel this disconnect to where it was easier for me to just use a mouse, honestly with digital art I am still learning the basics like how the fill tool never fully fills, heck I still don't even understand really what a layer is and how it works, I follow toutorials best I can so maybe I am just simply not understanding something.
Yeah, I freely admit it I have a lot of weaknesses ^^;
Another big thing for me too is just trying to focus more on the positive, the negative hits me pretty hard... actually way too hard and I need to learn a way to cut that way down. I don't mean replace negativity with toxic positivity as some may say, but it is a big thing I need to work on. It is a huge fault I do have and I have been trying to cover or bottle it up. Something I have been struggling for a while with, but I think I am starting on the right track now.
That is everything for now I think, but I am happy I have what I think is a real plan now, I know outside of how I plan on tackling the content side it is a little rough but I think it is best I can do at the moment. My plan is to knock out the five mimiatures for my Dark Angels and then do the mass upload later on today, the vehicle should be here later in the week. So I will post that not long after I manage to get my hands on it. Things maybe slow at first, but I feel a lot better that now I think I have a real recovery plan.
I hope everyone has a good day or night where you, Magnum out^^
Lucario-J , 
Castrovalva and to my fur mom 
wolf-9 for the comments they have left on my two updates, I know I have just been tumbling around and basically wallowing, but huge thank you for your understanding and support, I may not always respond but I always read them. *Hugs*As everyone can see above I have come up with a plan, after my venting I deciding to take Sunday to try to come up a plan and to do some re-evaluation in order to try to help bring myself back into things as I am tired of limbo and rather than try to comeback all at once I have decided to start small and try to work back to it. Especially since my focus has been on the wrong things and the problem is I have been focused soley focused on the negative rather than the positive.
For a start and to get it out of the way I need to talk about how writing is going to go. For a start the Magna-Verse writing line is going to be put on hold and effectively all fanfiction will be canceled. I feel I have put all my eggs in one basket and it does show, plus I am tired of feeling overworked, I mean how it use to go is I would spend about 4-5 days typing a part, look it over and straight after posting it work on the next part while trying to work everything else around it, basically for every one minute of reading took about an hour of typing give or take. So outside of descriptions for drawing/model submissions, writing will basically cease until further notice. The crashing as I result of the writing thing basically ended up filtering into me losing interest in practically everything which is a huge reason why I am stopping it.
Models and miniatures which I know are a niche will still be relitively uncommon and I already have a good sized anthro model selected for when I reach my next watcher goal. Focus of models will be on my Astartes as they still require a lot of attention. Some stuff may be sprinkled here and there along the line.
As for the drawing side of things, I am going to try to make that my main focus. It is a lot more harder for me to learn and try to improve but I have been meaning to work more on it, heck I haven't used Krita in forever and need to try to get back into it. I really do want to try to improve my drawing, it'll just take me a ton of time as my autism has a harder time with it, not to mention trying to use a drawing tablet feels very alien to me because I don't have the feedback of the paper. That being said though I can tell my drawing has gotten better... especially when it comes to female characters because... yikes they use to be horrid and pretty cursed ^^;
Next thing I have been thinking about is how I want to handle the rp stuff. I think I am going to scale it back to where I only really do it with those I know and no longer have it so open given I can only keep track of so many.
I am still working slowly on things but cutting out the part of content I have the most issue with I think is the best way to go because I have put so much on it... honestly way too much. Things are still hit or miss right now, but after taking yesterday to just lean back and think after I unloaded a lot, I honestly feel a little better.
So I do have an idea of how to try to get back ontrack now, I still feel burned out but I did notice after deciding to cut out the writing I felt a lot better after a few minutes, still feel a little off and tired but I'll take the small wins and breaths of relief as they come.
Also some great news, in addition to the vehicle I was able get my hands on, I remembered I have some Apothecaries and a Master of Signals for my Dark Angels, they just require to be painted, they have actually been assembled and primed for a while, I just forgot about them and currently I am throwing paint on them.
I think I needed the past year to just relax, I just didn't realize just how wound up and feeling down I was, I am still going to take it slow but the main thing is I think I have figured out a plan that will work.
Another thing that needs to be said is this, while I haven't done that many of them I will never do any writing requests ever again reguardless of who asks. If I do get back into it, I am going to write what really suits me.
Speaking of requests, I use to offer them in a general way but overtime I decided to restrict them, not from too many requests but because no one was really interested in it. And so I have long since decided to move to an art trades system which I doubt will cover much ground and I will update my profile description when I feel more up to it. So requests in general are gone and never coming back. I know my art isn't the best, but like I said I also know it has come a long way from how it use to be, not sure when or if my skills will get as strong as some artists on here, but I do want to try, like I said for me it is a lot slower. My brain handles traditional art better because that is what I am use to and the feedback from the paper helps, on a tablet I just feel this disconnect to where it was easier for me to just use a mouse, honestly with digital art I am still learning the basics like how the fill tool never fully fills, heck I still don't even understand really what a layer is and how it works, I follow toutorials best I can so maybe I am just simply not understanding something.
Yeah, I freely admit it I have a lot of weaknesses ^^;
Another big thing for me too is just trying to focus more on the positive, the negative hits me pretty hard... actually way too hard and I need to learn a way to cut that way down. I don't mean replace negativity with toxic positivity as some may say, but it is a big thing I need to work on. It is a huge fault I do have and I have been trying to cover or bottle it up. Something I have been struggling for a while with, but I think I am starting on the right track now.
That is everything for now I think, but I am happy I have what I think is a real plan now, I know outside of how I plan on tackling the content side it is a little rough but I think it is best I can do at the moment. My plan is to knock out the five mimiatures for my Dark Angels and then do the mass upload later on today, the vehicle should be here later in the week. So I will post that not long after I manage to get my hands on it. Things maybe slow at first, but I feel a lot better that now I think I have a real recovery plan.
I hope everyone has a good day or night where you, Magnum out^^
I haven't wanted to say anything, but we've been worried about you, and we love you! Castrovalva even PM'd me a while back. He's a great dude, and I'm glad you have him in your life!
Also, thank you