Learn How to Name Your Fucking Characters
16 years ago
Howdy,
Fun fact, I haven't written one of these stupid fucking things in so damn long that I forgot where to find the tab to actually write the mother humpin' thing.
This isn't so much a journal, as it is an accusatory plea for all those artists who think they're being clever, charming, or cute , when they give their character an contextually appropriate name. It's not cute. It's not witty. It's not funny. It's not even in the same zip code as funny.
Let's go over some examples. If i do actually use the name of your character by accident, then i think it's a pretty good sign that you should review your personal situation, cuz it'd probably mean this journal is aimed your way. There are only so many ways you can toss stupidity like this into a category, but i'll do my best for those of us who actualy try not to smash their skulls against a wall on a daily basis.
Naming Based on Species
This is my murry-purry fox character, named Foxy
This is my super cool bird guy with a yellow beak, his name is Falconius
I made a super muscular cow guy named Hamburger!
Why this is stupid.
From the situation of a parent, that's be like having a black child, and calling him Nigga Jones. If the stupidity about that doesn't offend you enough, heres another example of why it's stupid. Imagine having a Mexican kid ... but instead of giving him a name, you just call him "Lazy" Mission accomplished, you've ruined your child's life.
Naming Based on an Aesthetic point
This one is especially stupid, but can take many forms. This one is also seen constantly in more mainstream media, like ... superheroes. For a superhero? It works. For an average joe schmoe? it's a face palm.
* This hot wolf dude has an openly exposed chipped tooth. His name is Fang!
* I named my spitting raptor guy JurrasSICK because he ... spits ... on people
* I named this blue cat guy blueberry :D
* I named this brown fox chick Caramel :D
* I named this Green Skunk guy Watermelon :D
* I just shot myself in the skull with a magnum :D
Naming Based on Profession or Repeated Action
* I named my bounty hunter dragon character Hunter!
* A professional lock picking cat burglar named Pickz!
* World Famous Corporate Mogul named Donald Trump! .... Huh ... ?
* A home cook with a taste for sweets named Pie (Or any sort of food)
The WORST situation possible, is when these bullshit characteristics are mixed together to form some of the most horrible, trite, lame, or ridiculous names in creative media. Some may recognize a few of these names. If this offends you, allow me to you remind you that this is the internet, and nobody gives a shit what you think, outside of the 10 minutes they'll spend insulting you for your opinion.
Horrible Compound Names
Naming your bodybuilder chef character Beef Stroganoff (Triple threat here, with only two words. Yeowch)
Naming your strong man grocery store bagger Buff Bagwell
Football playing wolf? Why not call him Wolf Blitzer
A sea dragon named Dragontyde? Yes. It counts. Cheating by switching an I for a Y is just as horrible as using the word normally.
Now I'm SURE there are some enlightened people out there who are going to toss a comment of "OH YUR? WHY R U CALLED ICEWOLF THEN LOLOLOL"
Check this logic out.
1. Ice has nothing to do with my character. It's there for no reason.
2. Yes, he is a wolf. BUT 3, supports this reasoning.
3. My character is , by no better way of describing it, incredibly mentally retarded. So him giving himself the most painfully stupid compound name made total sense.
Well, hopefully i was able to give everyone who read this a laugh. OR by some proxy, pissed someone off to the point where they're swearing. Either way, at least you got something out of it.
Peace out,
IceWolf
FA+

I loled.
Mr. McFeeley , hell he could be a pedophile, you never know what his first name is. It could be Childgrope McFeeley for all we know.
You best be trollin', son.
I always tried to keep my naming of characters for the most part, realistic. Or, in worst case scenario, something that sounded -like a name-.
Examples:
Fox girl: Brianna
Red Panda: Katrina
Giraffe: Kesslar
Panda: Trent
My fursona: Lucien (female form: Verias [which is actually a transitive form of "Ver" which is "to see" in spanish] Which was a total accident)
Lizard girl: Zaphira (the one almost whoops, she has a zipper mod on her crotch and I dubbed her Zipplerslut until I could come up with an apt name)
And twin brown rabbits: Trad and Katherine (Trad may not be a real name, but I liked it.)
Just my own examples, but yeah, I totally agree with you.
People need to give the naming thing a bit more thought.
Tbh though, coming up with legit names is rather tough. Sometimes a more fun one like names in a video game can be more entertaining.
Ya can't please em all. And sometimes adding the species tag tot he character makes Jeremy different. Jeremy the wolf dude. Or Jeremy the lion But yeah what about names that cannot ever be pronounced by the human tongue;) Or super long names. I tried to keep it simple. And lets just face it not alot of people are that obsessive enough to go pull up a baby naming website and search for unique names.
But I will say you forgot the worst Character naming out there isn't with the name Sonicfox. Or sepriothfox. (theres a million Seprioths and sonic character names)
CHUNK MANMEAL
BUFF DRINKLOTS
BOB JOHNSON
...wait.
Now, on the same page, I don't think you're entirely fair in absolving yourself because, as you said, your character is "incredibly mentally retarted". For if you think about it in context, that either means his mother and father were both incredibly mentally retarded, too, or he spawned from thin air. Otherwise, you had full reign to name him anything, and still have his character foibles.
Also, if you're angry at "Beef Stroganoff," I think you need to brush up on your classic cartoon naming tropes--since that's where Cooner gets a lot of his inspiration, in both art style and humour.
funny/silly/ridiculous names for funny/silly/ridiculous fantasy characters is bad?
There's an anthropomorphic fox dude. His name is Jeff Thompson. How interesting and fun.
Most of these characters with "funny" names aren't meant to be real people with real worlds and parents who would have been stupid to name them that way. They're just caricatures, meant to get who and what they are across as quickly as possible. "Jeff Thompson" doesn't tell you anything about a character. Stick a chef hat on him and you can assume he's a chef, but ooh, wow, a chef named Jeff. Is that supposed to be witty or just unfortunate for him? But name him "Beef Stroganoff" and stick a chef hat on him and it's clearly meant to communicate something about the character, as well as establish that it isn't a SERIOUS BUSINESS entity with too much excessive mundane back story or parents assigning his career at birth by the name they chose. It's just a character.
If you're just joking with this, sorry for taking it seriously, but it doesn't come across as just kidding. You seem to really be irritated by something, to the point of being potentially insulting to people, even though you haven't avoided doing the same thing yourself. K, so, you stuck "ice" in the name for no reason. How does that make sense as separating you from the people you're bitching at? So a character has nothing to do with boats, so he's named BoatFox, and that's fine, but someone else's character is an assassin, named AssassinFox, and that's stupid? If your character's parents gave him a retarded name because he's retarded, how is that at all different from your other examples of "it would be ridiculous for their parents to name them that"?
If you're just trolling or something then lol @ me for taking it seriously I guess, but if you're making a genuine complaint, it's kinda one of those pot/kettle things, dude. XD
Definitely interesting points, and all worth considering.
My fursona's name is Halen Draco, which just means Dragon in Norwegian and then Dragon again in Italian. I think it's a cool name though, as dumb as it actually is.
His name is spelled "Abcde".
I remember when grammar, spelling, and language/pronunciation rules were taught in schools. :3
I must be old. D:
~_~ Be nice, is ma birthday.
There are rules for how letters are supposed to sound depending on how they're arranged, and "Twile" would have the long 'i.' 'Twih-ley' would be a maybe if it was using foreign pronunciation, but 'Twilly' is just plain incorrect. I'm pretty sure there isn't a "correct" way to look at it and have that 'e' be a long 'e.'
but anyways XD
Happy Birthday, dude. :3
IE:
Naming a cook after a food item, or naming the good guys after fruits, and the bad guys after spicy foods or spices in general.
It makes sense to do that as a gag or just to do it at all.
Naming something something in the context of their behavior or ..
Even other 'normal' names have meaning and history to them.
So I'm wrapping my head around that part that you dont like the pun aspect to this whole name-definition formula our spoken language used since we could describe fire.
Football jock, Blitz Roddzilla, had ruined his football career in high-school, while simultaneously jump-starting his porn star career, when a game of football accidentally became a game of baseball.
But as a serious role-play character, created by a sweaty 30-year-old male, whose attributes are a triple breasted herm character, HorseWhore1337, seems terribly cliche.
...
RODDZIRRAAAAAA!!!!
Pizzacats is more or less a gag show isn't it? If so, it's justified to be corny in some small way.
Yes. Yes it was.
Mr. Peeps - a chick
Pillbug - a pillbug
Electro - an electric ball thing
Boom - a bomb
Ghosty - a ghost
Pinchers - a spider
Those are only a FEW of them! I also named one guy Supe. I have NO IDEA why, I just did.
I know, right?
Japanese names ftw.
lol
You forgot one. How about the furs who name their character (Noun/Verb/Whatever)+(Species)
I am so sick and tired of seeing these unimaginative names. Yes I said UNIMAGINATIVE! Learn how to come up with better naOHSHIT!!!*Gets tackled and beaten up*
Kids are allowed to be stupid, though, for the most part. lol
...People naming their characters after Egyptian gods.
Runs-with-Pack
Howls-of-Fire
Fucks-Metis-Garou-With-Spiked-Dildo
Fangs-of-Steel
Come on.
You make good points there on names and places the wrong ways of saying them.
It has all of those letters in it.
Or the chronic emotions that a character/user faces. "hAPPY bUNNEH," "Bitch Ishitgold," or "DepressedSchizto."
And I'm a terrible offender of this list I imagine too
*that's be like having a black child, and calling him Nigga Jones
*I made a super muscular cow guy named Hamburger!
* I just shot myself in the skull with a magnum :D
* World Famous Corporate Mogul named Donald Trump! .... Huh ... ?
*If this offends you, allow me to you remind you that this is the internet, and nobody gives a shit what you think, outside of the 10 minutes they'll spend insulting you for your opinion.
You have a lot of things to say that make me snicker i have no idea what brought on a journal like this nor do I care however we do need to get to know each other a lot better cause you are one funny ass icewolf.
Lasty; in closing,
* I named this Green Skunk guy Watermelon :D
OH LAWD~!
heh, my names not too creative, but I made it when I was like 14-15 years old '_';
This is shocking.
Random player: We need a rez.
Rez: damn, was last night that good for you?
His adoptive son is Cosmo Syne. Cosign. Wheeeee.
I have a character with power over air and light... Aaron Llite.
I fail as a writer.
Most of these issues have been rectified though. Somewhat.
D:
My most recent vilolation was Trixie the transvestite dalmatian, who is "Tricksy".
At least I had the decency to make that a nickname. Real name Patrick Kasun.
Oh noes, I'm rambling!
Fun Fact: A man once named his sons Loser and Winner. Winner became a crack head in back alleys, Loser became a Police chief. True Story.
FLCL led me to believe that "Naota"means "honesty", which definitely suits me, if you mean incredibly brutal honesty. Plus, it's just a cool name.......except it doesn't mean that AT ALL. It's just sort of derived from the characters for it. FLCL lied to me, which just made me love it all the more. :3
And lastly, new activity from you HOLY SHIT AWESOME
So I sign in like Sachiel, the 666 thing was just for fun and wanted to have ma own cliche whit that number, but now that I look trough, the name I have doesnt have nothing to be whit ma furry, is not even a angel but surely it fits him.
And people sometimes call me Sachi, in some way is cute.
I quote:
"I made a super muscular cow guy named Hamburger!" (and many more that would push the text limits of the comment box)
Holy crap, I 'bout peed myself.
Thank you so much for the 15 minutes of constant laughing,
~Rabbyadam
Reminds me that I have my own rant about this when it comes to online handles/names. Hm, I should post it sometime.
Buckingham Palace
Berlin Wall
Fifi Trixabelle Geldof
Superman Wheaton
Kal-el Coppola Cage
Audio Science Sossaman
Bluebell Madonna Halliwell
Daisy Boo Oliver
Pilot Inspektor Lee
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchance
Dixie Dot Richardson
Heaven Love'on Stone
Jermajesty Jackson
Apple Martin
.. and leave us not forget that someone out there actually named their son "Hippo". Seriously.
Oh, and