i want to thank everyone who's called, dropped by or sent well wishes. the last week was one of the hardest i have faced in all my life. thinking you are going to die is something that can not be put into words. it was the love of my friends and my sisters that helped push me though, i would have liked to have said the same for chris but he had little time for me there and more time for his gym . it's sad that it takes this much to see someone i care for is nothing what he says he is. to know that n the hospital he stood over me yelling along with my brother with me laying and not able to get up, i makes me see just how much of a man he will never be, i have put him out of my like, he'll never be back and if in some freak twist he where to trust would never be given, i would like to see him one day stand up to say he's sorry. but that day will never come and if it where would there be any way it would not be to late. the last post was taken down from him calling my little brother and starting even more stuff with him and my family, and yet I'm still hearing from them and being told they love me, so that did little good other than drive my younger brother and myself apart. that in it's self is something i could care less for, anyone knowing me knows i have had little to nothing to do with him for years. night and plum have done more for me in the last few days than i can ever thank them for, she came up showed me how to take my meds and how to do so with out hurting myself. they stood by me as chris was calling them trying to spread more of his lies. but even she said with how he is. I'd like to point out one thing, he saying that i have run around saying i had cancer behind my eye, i have never said cancer. it was a growth had it not need, the eye would have been taken out all together, even plum has said she's heard me tell this it is also i have to have follow up to see what that growth is doing and if there is anything going on. he can get it out of his head that i lied, in fact his father was told many time any time he used the c word,, chirs has taken this up as being the only reason he has to have done what he did and how it see's himself in the right for it..... many of you have seen this before . he can not take blame for something he's done, he's blamed the fandom many times for then, left it only to come right back. i only hope one day he gets out of his father brain washing, stops letting him suger daddy him and gets on his own feet. but that's all past me. i have my own life to walk on with and i am doing just that. take care all. be safe be happy and be loved.