first off, i have been slowly coming coming back to myself. the meds now are just another part of my day, nothing more nothing less. b/p is good. 120's and my heart is ticking away strong. I've been a bit weak but rest and making sure there is as little stress in my life as i can has helped. I'm facing things clearly now. i see what is needed to get myself and my life right. change is eternal, heaven, hell, and earth move on it is ours to follow or fall behind. it's never been a part of me to hate or stay mad. hatred kills the soul. { to chris } for all that we where and all that i tried to share with you and give to you. for all the good and bad i got back thank you, life ain't always beautiful, tears are meant to fall. life may knock me down, but i have always got back up, in a big part and even bigger thanks to my friends. i want my last words to you or about you to be this. i loved you, when i said i do i meant that i will. you'll understand that. but now i come to see i have to love myself too and i am doing that as i learn to live with me :) i am thankful for so much, my family, tho not all of them feel them same, i have come to terms that blood is not always thicker than water . for my friends, you where the wings that picked me up when my own failed me. most of all is that i am here and i for once in my life feel some peace, of heart and mind. I'm putting myself first and tho it feels odd its what i need for now. i have taken the next few days off from work, for all that has come to pass and more so for all i need to clean out in my mind I'm just dropping off reader, if you have y cell and you need me thin hit me up. guess that's all for now. blessed be.