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People Problems
15 years ago
Do I have a problem with people, or do they have a problem with me?
It's a question everyone has been familiar with at least once in their lives and it's been the ever harrowing storm cloud that's been following me since childhood.
I believe I might have the answer.
People rarely dislike me. I don't want to sound vain or anything, but I don't think I've done anything to deserve anyone's ill will. If I have, then it doesn't matter because I must not care enough to remember it and/or they don't care enough to bring it up.
I don't get out. I'm a shut in. Sometimes, I even miss going out on Fridays, the only day I go out and do anything on. I don't make friends easily. I'm not an unkind person, but I'm awkward and quirky and apparently I give off bad vibes or something.
Anyways, to what all this is about, I thought it was time I revealed something vital about myself for those who might still be my friends.
I'm socially handicapped. When I was a kid, I was hyper social to a point that I scared other children away from me. Somehow it all inverted and I became the opposite of that. I start to question any action I take in public, I'm shifty, I'm open but at the same time I'm bland for the fear of becoming as overwhelming as I was when I was young. I get randomly quiet or randomly chatty. I get the feeling people find me annoying. It drives me crazy and it becomes more stressful for me to go out and have fun than it should be. The only friends I have from back in high school are the ones who managed to put up with all my oddities. Even so, they don't keep in contact all that much anymore. I guess they're glad to be rid of me, I don't know. It's not like I don't make the effort to contact them.
Meh, this is just a 'baw' moment. Feel free to ignore. Just looking back and realizing how little I've accomplished in the 'having fun' department of college life. Just hoping these truly are not supposed to be the best years of my life.
It's a question everyone has been familiar with at least once in their lives and it's been the ever harrowing storm cloud that's been following me since childhood.
I believe I might have the answer.
People rarely dislike me. I don't want to sound vain or anything, but I don't think I've done anything to deserve anyone's ill will. If I have, then it doesn't matter because I must not care enough to remember it and/or they don't care enough to bring it up.
I don't get out. I'm a shut in. Sometimes, I even miss going out on Fridays, the only day I go out and do anything on. I don't make friends easily. I'm not an unkind person, but I'm awkward and quirky and apparently I give off bad vibes or something.
Anyways, to what all this is about, I thought it was time I revealed something vital about myself for those who might still be my friends.
I'm socially handicapped. When I was a kid, I was hyper social to a point that I scared other children away from me. Somehow it all inverted and I became the opposite of that. I start to question any action I take in public, I'm shifty, I'm open but at the same time I'm bland for the fear of becoming as overwhelming as I was when I was young. I get randomly quiet or randomly chatty. I get the feeling people find me annoying. It drives me crazy and it becomes more stressful for me to go out and have fun than it should be. The only friends I have from back in high school are the ones who managed to put up with all my oddities. Even so, they don't keep in contact all that much anymore. I guess they're glad to be rid of me, I don't know. It's not like I don't make the effort to contact them.
Meh, this is just a 'baw' moment. Feel free to ignore. Just looking back and realizing how little I've accomplished in the 'having fun' department of college life. Just hoping these truly are not supposed to be the best years of my life.
You're okay in my book ;)
It's just that I'm sure people can't understand why I'm so odd. I sort of grew up from a lonely environment. I had an imaginary friend until half-way through high school.