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Dollar Tree
15 years ago
Recently, I happened upon an innocent Dollar Tree establishment. While there, it was my mission to seek out the ultimate microwaveable container. Cheap, durable, with a locking lid. Not too long after entering, I found what I was looking for. And, they came in a four pack! What divine luck!
Happily, I made my way home. Ah, new containers. What bliss! What joy! Arriving home, I washed, rinsed, and stored away my new found containers. They would bring me so much happiness when the time came to use them.
Later that very night, after dinner was over, my stew, my delicious stew needed to be stored as leftovers. Some in the fridge, and some in the freezer. My new containers! I smiled briefly, knowing that I was going to finally use my fancy microwaveable plastic containers with locking lids! Into the containers I carefully poured my hot, steamy, delicious stew. Into one, then another, until all four were full. Ah, perfect! Now, lids. Lid onto the first, second, third.. And what's this? I frowned. The fourth one wouldn't stick. It would not lock onto it's container. This just will not do. Tin foil in the mean time, but tomorrow..
Tomorrow came, and with it a journey back to the Dollar Tree. With me I brought my fourth and final container, that with the dysfunctional lid. Angry? No. But with a sense of anticipation that was horribly shattered into a million tiny pieces? Well, not that either. But I was in the mood to waste somebody's time, and golly, did I ever have an excuse to do it! Oh, look! A manager!
"Uh, excuse me.. Sir?" His attention. I had gained it. "Um, yeah.. See, I bought this container the other day, and I was really excited about it. Locking lids, cool microwaveable plastic.. You know.. And I took it home, and the lid wouldn't lock!" With a ponderous look upon his face, the manager, Stan, worked up his retort.
Stan said, "Well, do you have a receipt? Would you like a replacement?" Oh, a replacement? Geez.. If only I had thought to bring the receipt. Alas, what I wanted was something different entirely.
"Actually," I exclaimed, "what I would like is some of your time. Which, to me, is as valuable as a replacement. Because, the way I see it, time is money. Therefore, money must also be time. And, if I could have an amount of your time equal to the amount of money this lid is worth, I would be perfectly happy."
Frowning now, and not terribly amused, Stan informed me that my lid was worth about twenty-five cents. With this, I told him that I was in fact aware of this, and that his time compensation has been made.
I went on my way, useless lid still in hand, went home, and ate some chili.
Happily, I made my way home. Ah, new containers. What bliss! What joy! Arriving home, I washed, rinsed, and stored away my new found containers. They would bring me so much happiness when the time came to use them.
Later that very night, after dinner was over, my stew, my delicious stew needed to be stored as leftovers. Some in the fridge, and some in the freezer. My new containers! I smiled briefly, knowing that I was going to finally use my fancy microwaveable plastic containers with locking lids! Into the containers I carefully poured my hot, steamy, delicious stew. Into one, then another, until all four were full. Ah, perfect! Now, lids. Lid onto the first, second, third.. And what's this? I frowned. The fourth one wouldn't stick. It would not lock onto it's container. This just will not do. Tin foil in the mean time, but tomorrow..
Tomorrow came, and with it a journey back to the Dollar Tree. With me I brought my fourth and final container, that with the dysfunctional lid. Angry? No. But with a sense of anticipation that was horribly shattered into a million tiny pieces? Well, not that either. But I was in the mood to waste somebody's time, and golly, did I ever have an excuse to do it! Oh, look! A manager!
"Uh, excuse me.. Sir?" His attention. I had gained it. "Um, yeah.. See, I bought this container the other day, and I was really excited about it. Locking lids, cool microwaveable plastic.. You know.. And I took it home, and the lid wouldn't lock!" With a ponderous look upon his face, the manager, Stan, worked up his retort.
Stan said, "Well, do you have a receipt? Would you like a replacement?" Oh, a replacement? Geez.. If only I had thought to bring the receipt. Alas, what I wanted was something different entirely.
"Actually," I exclaimed, "what I would like is some of your time. Which, to me, is as valuable as a replacement. Because, the way I see it, time is money. Therefore, money must also be time. And, if I could have an amount of your time equal to the amount of money this lid is worth, I would be perfectly happy."
Frowning now, and not terribly amused, Stan informed me that my lid was worth about twenty-five cents. With this, I told him that I was in fact aware of this, and that his time compensation has been made.
I went on my way, useless lid still in hand, went home, and ate some chili.
