So, today, whilst on the prowl for a better job, I came across a place called Arrow Uniform. Sign outside said they were hiring, so I went in. Inside lurked a rather unattractive man who was apparently some sort of security guard for the establishment. I inquired about the possibility of acquiring an application for employment. He handed me one. I then asked him, "Would you mind if I filled it out in here, on this nice, smooth counter? See, I'm on a bicycle, and I can't really take it home without folding it.."
He told me that no, I could not. Okay.. So I thanked him for his time, and went outside. Outside, there was a picnic table. I proceeded to fill out my application there. Five minutes into it, the snaggle-toothed security guard came outside and asked, "May I ask what you are still doing here?" I told him that yes, he may ask.
A pause as this registered in his mind, then, in a condescending tone he asked, "What are you still doing here?"
"Well," I began to explain, "See, I can't bring this application home without folding it, and you said I couldn't fill it out inside. Figured this picnic table would do." He then informed me that this was private property, and that I may not fill out my application there. "Seriously? Don't you have anything better to do? I ain't doing you any harm here, am I?"
He then told me that if I didn't leave immediately he'd have to escort me off the property. To him I said "Whatever, dude. I'll be the bigger man between us, and I'll just let this go. Have fun swinging your position of power around in lue of a big dick. Have a nice day."
So, I got on my totally awesome Trek 3700 hard-tail and broke the parking lot speed-limit by doing 32Mph on my way out. Fuck you, Mr. Fucked-up-teeth security fag. Fuck you and your porridge face. You're a dick.