You're one to talk.
You're the one who changes all the time. You cant stay the same person for an hour at the time. I'm 10x more consistent than you. I'm sorry that you scared me and that i sorta tweaked out, but you're the one who changes. Its NOT okay to do that to someone. Its just NOT.

I'm not saying that i am amazing at staying the same, but i do try, and if it bothers you then you should tell me and we can talk about it. I will try to be better.

You KNOW it bothers me, and we HAVE talked about it! I /NEVER/ change in front of you, i always wait until you're away. I'm SORRY that I was kinda deeply hurt and wanted to get out of myself for a minute. I sorta had assumed that you would UNDERSTAND and not be so harsh and crazy at me for being a little different for a little bit.

But no. You give me the whole "I dont do well when you're a girl." I KNOW you can control yourself better than that, so stop acting like you're so helpless about things like that.

The way it seems to ME is that you just dont care enough to try. You keep telling me you gave up SO MUCH for me. You gave up Vlad. You gave up being with other men. But do you even like...SEE what I do for you? Do you even NOTICE everything I do? Or do you just take it for granted? I wanted to cuddle you and be romantic and watch a movie with you today. But no. We couldn't do that because you HAD TO have sex. Because its not a want to with you, its a "I HAVE to." Even after i've expressly told you that I dont want to do it in my house. Even after that. And so you FORCE yourself on me? Oh. Yeah. Thats a real great way to get me to want to have sex with you again.

And dont say "If i dont get it from you, I'll go crazy."

Cuz thats bullshit. And we both know it. You just dont want to control yourself so you wont.

I'm sorry i'm mad.
But as you'd say, I'm just not ready to forgive you yet.

I'll call you in a few minutes.

Oh. And if your dad or Vlad shows up and tells me "What have you done? You're a terrible person. You need to act like you love her." or whatever, I'm staying at the house for a week.

I'm sorry. I'll work on it. I love you and like i said i just needed to rant. I don't like change, but i'm sure you don't either. I'll try to work harder to work things out like you do. I'm sorry and i love you.