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Wild Nights Post Con Report
15 years ago
I know there are a few that have been waiting to see what my post here would read as.
This was my first year at Wild Nights. At first, I didn't want to do because of how close this con was to RCFM which has been a staple convention of mine for several years. The staff got to the point they gave me my first show and the title of Guest Performer thus comping my badge and traveling expenses. I just got to put on a show.
Okay I really had no excuse then. I had to go. Not like I could pass up the chance to get on stage and be stupid for an hour right?
So I arrive on Friday in the early afternoon. I drove onto the campground, parked and the fun began.
Now before I speak any more I have to say one thing that was a tradition at the other campout convention. I would always get injured. Usually not terribly serious but something that would mildly hamper my ability to function. From twisting my ankle to slamming my body on the ground on my back, knee, hip, shin, face or something. Every year for Seven years I did not leave Oklacon unscathed.
I sit here typing to you now with nothing more than a scratch on the knuckle. Hardly something that would be called an injury. So ... points for Wild Nights.
The Humor began when we drove in and before I put my car in Park. There's the signs for Group camp one and two. Wild Nights in camp two, And the Mennonites in group camp one which you have to pass by on the way to group camp two. To make it funnier, Falconpunch is there at Wild Nights dressed up as Jesus. Already this is becoming the Convention of Wrong with everything going absolutely perfect.
So here are the events that lead up to the most epic performance of 69ing gay raccoons .... Ever.
Saturday night there was an incident with some people in town driving into the campsite and shooting a few con attendees with a paintball gun. One of the park employees was sent with him taking pictures and bagging evidence. He then ... just hung out. He returned Sunday and was with us almost the entire day. It turned out he is actually gay. And he's really nice.
So closing Ceremonies. Everything's going great we showed a few things from the convention videos and whatnot. They brought up the guests of Honor and ... Then me. As I am walking up on stage they start playing 69ing Gay Raccoons and I ask would you like me to sing it? Staff was okay with it ... so I did. Full backing track and audience participation. Went over fine and thought nothing major of it.
Until I got off stage and everyone was laughing just outside the door. I asked what was going on and they point to the back of the tabernacle ... to the park officer standing there with his jaw to the floor. The gay park officer. I totally lose it. I start cracking up laughing. I run to tell Heros about it and he nearly chokes.
This is when he tells me ... Oh my the way ... You do know that the park mascot is a raccoon right?
Um ... NO!!!!
And that he is the one that usually wears the suit right?
Um ... NO!!!!!! So wait... I just sang 69ing Gay Raccoons for the 69ing Gay Raccoon?
Yes Corsi. Yes you did.
OH FUCK!!!!
So we're sitting there for a good five minutes just cracking up and run back to Draconis to tell him. He nearly falls over and runs over to the Park staffer to talk to him. They get him on stage and call me up for the fun of it and have him chase me around the Tabernacle a bit.
But that's not the epic part.
He gets a call in that they heard a couple of suspicious people walking through the woods heading our way. So I get tossed a radio and so do a few others and we start keeping watch on the perimeter. In the middle of this, he told us all to use his call number to address him on the radios. His number is ninety. I say to him GREAT we have his Furry name! He said no but about fifteen minutes later I hear this.
Ninety to Corsi.
This is Corsi.
I found out what I am going to use as my new Fur Name.
Oh god do I want to know?
It's Sixty-Nine.
*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER* I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Myself and the people I was with just totally died.
In the end of it all ... I present to you all .... Sixty-Nine the Gay Raccoon.
Con was fucking epic guys. You did a fantastic job. I heard praises of 'Hell I don't even eat this good at home!' the food was that freaking good.
I am going again next year. And the best part is, it's spaced out perfectly from Oklacon. Exactly six months difference.
Here, everything is really close together yet still spread out. You don't really have Cabin parties but instead everyone's just being really social. Normally I don't make a call and place a convention among my favorites until I have been to a couple of them.
I am making an exception. Oklacon just got bumped back to third. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR EVERYONE!!
This was my first year at Wild Nights. At first, I didn't want to do because of how close this con was to RCFM which has been a staple convention of mine for several years. The staff got to the point they gave me my first show and the title of Guest Performer thus comping my badge and traveling expenses. I just got to put on a show.
Okay I really had no excuse then. I had to go. Not like I could pass up the chance to get on stage and be stupid for an hour right?
So I arrive on Friday in the early afternoon. I drove onto the campground, parked and the fun began.
Now before I speak any more I have to say one thing that was a tradition at the other campout convention. I would always get injured. Usually not terribly serious but something that would mildly hamper my ability to function. From twisting my ankle to slamming my body on the ground on my back, knee, hip, shin, face or something. Every year for Seven years I did not leave Oklacon unscathed.
I sit here typing to you now with nothing more than a scratch on the knuckle. Hardly something that would be called an injury. So ... points for Wild Nights.
The Humor began when we drove in and before I put my car in Park. There's the signs for Group camp one and two. Wild Nights in camp two, And the Mennonites in group camp one which you have to pass by on the way to group camp two. To make it funnier, Falconpunch is there at Wild Nights dressed up as Jesus. Already this is becoming the Convention of Wrong with everything going absolutely perfect.
So here are the events that lead up to the most epic performance of 69ing gay raccoons .... Ever.
Saturday night there was an incident with some people in town driving into the campsite and shooting a few con attendees with a paintball gun. One of the park employees was sent with him taking pictures and bagging evidence. He then ... just hung out. He returned Sunday and was with us almost the entire day. It turned out he is actually gay. And he's really nice.
So closing Ceremonies. Everything's going great we showed a few things from the convention videos and whatnot. They brought up the guests of Honor and ... Then me. As I am walking up on stage they start playing 69ing Gay Raccoons and I ask would you like me to sing it? Staff was okay with it ... so I did. Full backing track and audience participation. Went over fine and thought nothing major of it.
Until I got off stage and everyone was laughing just outside the door. I asked what was going on and they point to the back of the tabernacle ... to the park officer standing there with his jaw to the floor. The gay park officer. I totally lose it. I start cracking up laughing. I run to tell Heros about it and he nearly chokes.
This is when he tells me ... Oh my the way ... You do know that the park mascot is a raccoon right?
Um ... NO!!!!
And that he is the one that usually wears the suit right?
Um ... NO!!!!!! So wait... I just sang 69ing Gay Raccoons for the 69ing Gay Raccoon?
Yes Corsi. Yes you did.
OH FUCK!!!!
So we're sitting there for a good five minutes just cracking up and run back to Draconis to tell him. He nearly falls over and runs over to the Park staffer to talk to him. They get him on stage and call me up for the fun of it and have him chase me around the Tabernacle a bit.
But that's not the epic part.
He gets a call in that they heard a couple of suspicious people walking through the woods heading our way. So I get tossed a radio and so do a few others and we start keeping watch on the perimeter. In the middle of this, he told us all to use his call number to address him on the radios. His number is ninety. I say to him GREAT we have his Furry name! He said no but about fifteen minutes later I hear this.
Ninety to Corsi.
This is Corsi.
I found out what I am going to use as my new Fur Name.
Oh god do I want to know?
It's Sixty-Nine.
*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER* I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Myself and the people I was with just totally died.
In the end of it all ... I present to you all .... Sixty-Nine the Gay Raccoon.
Con was fucking epic guys. You did a fantastic job. I heard praises of 'Hell I don't even eat this good at home!' the food was that freaking good.
I am going again next year. And the best part is, it's spaced out perfectly from Oklacon. Exactly six months difference.
Here, everything is really close together yet still spread out. You don't really have Cabin parties but instead everyone's just being really social. Normally I don't make a call and place a convention among my favorites until I have been to a couple of them.
I am making an exception. Oklacon just got bumped back to third. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR EVERYONE!!
Also, I'm sad that I left before this final performance, because that is just too hilarious. Too perfect. Your speech by the fire summed it all up.
I wish I'd heard about the ranger being gay, a raccoon, and naming himself 69. Oh, Jesus. Hey, there he is! -waves at Falconpunch-
I'm glad we got to hang out, Corsi. Hope you still wanna go to MFM with me! ^_^ It'd be awesome to have you along!
Wild Nights by John Cougar Melloncamp
Since we have a song already with the name of the con, you might just spoof that one :)
-- Evil Panther, giving Corsi ideas