so I've been having problems with my arm quite bad problems since I was about 14 so for about 6 years now. I've gotten some treatments that well worked but only for a short while.

now they think since its traveled down my arm maybe its a pinched nerve with cuff problems and muscle problems (yes lets just add more shit to the list doc)

so they are gonna put a bunch of needles and run some electricity through my arm to see what is going on to try to rule that out.

since things have went to hell in the last 6 months. due to pain now being all the way thru my arm bad pain fits, and loosing abilities, like being able to grip a door knob tight enough to turn it and other things just a lot of loss quickly in my arm again.

I was also bad at taking care of it or seeking medical attention due to trying to get psye's legs fixed was more
important to me then my own arm. now after things changed I realized caring about my self is not selfish and putting lovers or loved ones second to my own problems is actually more of the correct thing to do.

also despite all the possibly problems with getting a cuff replaced they are strongly considering it now. I'm very terrified of doing this alone or at all. but thank god after a really nice high session I got my life back on track (ya really weird normally getting high fucks things up not fixes them) so I know I can do this and its for the better, I would like to have my socket replaced asap since getting older is gonna make it harder and worse to do.

really wish I had some one to hold my hand.... kinda sucks I used to hold some one else's hand when these kinda things happened to them and now I gotta go it alone.