Love is a beautiful thing. I have only fell in love with two people in the 30 years I've been alive. Lusted after many I'm ashamed to say, but such as being human I suppose. For a long time I've been searching for some one to share my life. many friends I have found on the way, but none to fulfill that part of me that longs to love and to beloved. A few times I thought I found the love of my life. Most of the time it turned out to be some one lusting for me. I found it flattering, but not satisfying. Always left an emptiness in my hart that turned into bitterness. Other times it was out of loneliness on both parts. =sighs= I think the worst love are the ones i find only. You know, when you find some one whos just like you in every way, and you full fill all or most of their list of wants in a mate. Then when you mention a visit, they get all distant...... yeah. Why say you want some one, if your going to run at the first sign of real life meetings?
Right now I have pretty much fallen for some one online. One of the most attractive and amazing people I have ever talked to and as typical fashion my part. I keep sticking my foot in my mouth and see that tiny dark cloud int the silver lining. I'm sure he like me and I know I like him. We share common interests. However, I have this worrisome feeling that this fairytale I've been hoping for with this guy wont come true, and I'll be left sad and alone again and what scares me, I'm starting become numb to the feeling alone. That I might just except the loneliness and give up. As my Pounced profile title states, I am a knight in shining armor. I wounder if anyone believes that.
I know I am. I hate hurting people. I try and save everyone I can. Even though people question why and wondering what I want in return of saving them. I want nothing in return. I do nice things, because thats who I am. I have no motive. I do kind things out instinct. =shrugs= I don't know how to convince people I'm who I say I am, that I'm genuinely a kind, gentle, giving person who has no motive.
Thats my thoughts of the day.

See you out there........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGRhsLO9Ciw