Opwn bookday/Why can't I be happy?
15 years ago
Hello my friends
before I go in to my lame life with you here is good news for those of you out there.
Once agin im having an open book day agin. to appiled for it you must.
1 leave it in the commit section down below.
2 ask only three quistion
3 please pass the word around so people can start to get to know me.
please don't ask me about how big my :friend: is....I find it kinda rude so if you ask it I will not appide to it.
AndI am a vuirgian so no need to ask it...and yes im 25 soon to be 26 so...no need to ask that.
I will post my replides when five people have enter with stuff they want to know about me...
Now that's out of the way...
This is just sad mombo jumbo you don't need to read it...
Every day I fight the earges to hurt my self. Fight the feeling of jumping out and getting hit by a car...hitting myself. smaging things cuz it was just in my hands...I see myself doing it thought i never do it...and yet....I ...
today I get home it's around 6 or 7 and I have to fix myself dinner and my mom.(stepe mom) tell me that I waist all the food in the house that Im mucher....I don't eat breicfest or luch im too bessy for that... and I eat very little...
my reward for anything is being yell out...I can do everything in my power to do as told for them and get no thank you...but found onething wrong and that the thing that is mention....dam life....
I can't even tell them im bi but more towars girls...cuz there up tight on the whole gay thing...I feel so alone I have no firends on the outside world....no one really talks to me any more and I just fucking hurt in the inside and out of my body...
I don't know what to do anymore...maybe I am not ment to be happy....maybe...i'm not worth anything....
well I waist more of your time so I hope you have a good dat/night and hope to get those Q's soon
dee out.
before I go in to my lame life with you here is good news for those of you out there.
Once agin im having an open book day agin. to appiled for it you must.
1 leave it in the commit section down below.
2 ask only three quistion
3 please pass the word around so people can start to get to know me.
please don't ask me about how big my :friend: is....I find it kinda rude so if you ask it I will not appide to it.
AndI am a vuirgian so no need to ask it...and yes im 25 soon to be 26 so...no need to ask that.
I will post my replides when five people have enter with stuff they want to know about me...
Now that's out of the way...
This is just sad mombo jumbo you don't need to read it...
Every day I fight the earges to hurt my self. Fight the feeling of jumping out and getting hit by a car...hitting myself. smaging things cuz it was just in my hands...I see myself doing it thought i never do it...and yet....I ...
today I get home it's around 6 or 7 and I have to fix myself dinner and my mom.(stepe mom) tell me that I waist all the food in the house that Im mucher....I don't eat breicfest or luch im too bessy for that... and I eat very little...
my reward for anything is being yell out...I can do everything in my power to do as told for them and get no thank you...but found onething wrong and that the thing that is mention....dam life....
I can't even tell them im bi but more towars girls...cuz there up tight on the whole gay thing...I feel so alone I have no firends on the outside world....no one really talks to me any more and I just fucking hurt in the inside and out of my body...
I don't know what to do anymore...maybe I am not ment to be happy....maybe...i'm not worth anything....
well I waist more of your time so I hope you have a good dat/night and hope to get those Q's soon
dee out.
FA+

If you had to pick between anal or oral which one would you pick?
If you had to be on bottem who would you want it to be with?
Have you ever had a master?
if you hate living with your family, why do you stay? Even living with a bunch of strangers is often easier than staying with the people who know EXACTLY where to hurt you the most.
SOAPBOX WARNING: I know that when you hurt emotionally, sometimes it feels like it would be better to make the pain physical, but it really doesn't help. And explaining those scars later is a real bitch.
ADVICE: If you need to externalize the pain, try something I picked up in therapy many years back--get a bat or rattan stick (something sturdy), a couple old blankets or bathroom rugs, and find a park or something with a big tree. Wrap the blankets around the tree to protect it, then whack on it until you get blisters or get too tired to hurt. If you go by yourself, and find someplace secluded enough, you can even scream about the crap getting to you. It's very cathartic.
Or, if you have some spare cash, hit yard sales/goodwill/etc and pick up the cheapest, ugliest glass stuff you can find and take it to somewhere you won't be disturbed and smash it all. Just remember to take something to clean up the glass afterwards so you can use the place again when you need to.
You need grammar help? Just holler. If I have a chance, I'll be happy to help. I do proof edits at work all the time anyway.
An open book day is when I will answer anything you want to know about me as it not too bad...it let those that don't know me to know me and those who do a better understanding of there friend.
I live with my family cuz im too poor to live on my own.
I know what you mean...my I don't need scares to bleed out or give pain...my body has a skin condistion.
Thank you for the tip but I don't like to hit things anbreack stuff...unless it's video games.
really thats so cool...thought a lot offer and all gave up on me...
I know a lot about being too poor. Trust me when I say that there are alternatives if you look hard enough. And you may find you have more money than you think when you are not living with the relatives. you may not have much money for games and treats, but if you feel better about yourself and your life, you don't need that stuff as much.
which one? a lot of them have things you can do to help, including changing diets and bath products. I have a friend with one (psoriasis or something like that) and she found that most non-pure glycerin soaps cause it to get worse--both from the additives and the chemical perfumes. it's easier for her to get what she needs in a soap because we have a few friends who make their own, so she can get pretty much anything she needs in a color and natural (oil extract) scent she wants.
have you tried scream therapy? just sitting somewhere secluded and screaming out everything that is hurting you. the tree beating thing was something a therapist took my mom out to do when she was going thru her second divorce and the husband was being a total prick about it. ADVICE: games are addictive, so if you ever wanna get out of your parent's place, you might want to try weaning off them.
well, do you want to learn or just have someone do the work for you? if it is the first, I'm more than happy to help whenever I have time--I just don't always have a lot. I gotta pay rent myself. However, if it is the later, I can see why people give up. It's a lot of work to do for someone all the time, and most people just don't have that kind of time to give for very long. Best to enjoy what you can get while you can, and try to learn as much from the time as you can.
ya...me and my focks is a love hate thing...and i am tring to find a way to get out...so far itis going all right.
oh i can't pornouce it but my skin cell grow too fast and over my dead one and making them look ugly on my body. I mean it i look like a zombie.
I don't like to scream...im an odd person...but thank you and I understand..
LoL well i give people time to post with me and we only talk in notes. I don't like to make peple dont want to do it...but it just happens and they get mad at the fact im a hopeless couse and so they stop talking to me.
I have found that even in a family that doesn't much like each when living together, you find that you have more in common and that you communicate better when you are living separately.
loofah, baby! if your skin won't exfoliate on its' own, you have to help it out. hee-hee-hee. I know it isn't that simple, but it may help.
I don't either. It's weird, but the people it helps the most are those of us who tend to keep things inside and have trouble doing things like screaming or breaking things or whacking on a pell (tree or post) any other expression of the turmoil inside. I will say that if you can stick with it, it DOES help.
looking at your messages here, mostly it looks like you don't take the time to check. Like the one above has hought instead of thought, reallywant instead of really want, focks instead of folks, pornouce instead of pronounce, etc. The only one I saw that looked like a real mistake was 'hopeless couse' which should be hopeless cause.
I like my family it's just get over load withthe bs that goeson here some times you know...
not that simple, i can't screach or take hot showers...i need sunlight though sunlight bad for me so not alot but effot...I cant streach out i can't drink. Can't have sented soup or shampoo...i need the med cream but i don't have the money for it.
I found out that i feel much better when I play card games with my friends aswell as rp...rping is fun...
I allways check my mail...cuz im always on so i like to see how everyone doing.