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Whats a Birthday for again? and why do I care about it so?
15 years ago
When this wolf is on the prowl, Look out.........
Yep, you guessed it, coming up on the 24th of August this year, is yet again another Bday for this wolf, and like every year it will come and go like every other day.... But as each goes by i'v noticed things every time, such as my suit is well liked and i get people telling me things that make me happy about it and what i do, but at the same time i have never really seen anything of me unless i have taken it myself or asked the friends i knew took a pic of me.... But now the fun comes on how am i supose to repair my wolf, when i am alone every bday and holiday?
Some times when they arrive i get depressed and think that i may just be a useless wolf that no one really cares about or likes after all, and then again i always feel like this which is why my shirt says what it does. Either way, why do i always get so depressed on these days when their never really anything to be special or care about?
Well raising all the funds i truly need will be on my own and even though i know i have some friends, I doubt I'll ever get it fixed up and i may end up just throwing it away because i can't repair it any more. Which i know would hurt allot of people that have come to know the suit for who it is, and sadly what it ever ment to me is dieing and it hurts to lose something that means so much in my life.
I always dreamed of owning a fursuit, and when i got it i was on cloud 9, but with so much falling appart on it, and getting damaged, my dream suit is at an end and so forth fades into nothingness, to never be a part of my life again, watching a part of me dieing and vanishing without a trace......... I got him in 06, commissioned him on my bday of 05, and now he is being put to death on another bday in 2010...... I'm losing my better part of who i am, and it now has me thinking thoughts i hate debating......... If i get him fixed I'll be able to be me at the furcons, but if i don't get him fixed at all will anyone ever truly miss me.
I still think to myself these thoughts and it really does make me question who i am or why i care about ever being myself at the furcons. My wolf is a part of who and what i am, and if it vanished, would either of us ever truly be missed?
Some times when they arrive i get depressed and think that i may just be a useless wolf that no one really cares about or likes after all, and then again i always feel like this which is why my shirt says what it does. Either way, why do i always get so depressed on these days when their never really anything to be special or care about?
Well raising all the funds i truly need will be on my own and even though i know i have some friends, I doubt I'll ever get it fixed up and i may end up just throwing it away because i can't repair it any more. Which i know would hurt allot of people that have come to know the suit for who it is, and sadly what it ever ment to me is dieing and it hurts to lose something that means so much in my life.
I always dreamed of owning a fursuit, and when i got it i was on cloud 9, but with so much falling appart on it, and getting damaged, my dream suit is at an end and so forth fades into nothingness, to never be a part of my life again, watching a part of me dieing and vanishing without a trace......... I got him in 06, commissioned him on my bday of 05, and now he is being put to death on another bday in 2010...... I'm losing my better part of who i am, and it now has me thinking thoughts i hate debating......... If i get him fixed I'll be able to be me at the furcons, but if i don't get him fixed at all will anyone ever truly miss me.
I still think to myself these thoughts and it really does make me question who i am or why i care about ever being myself at the furcons. My wolf is a part of who and what i am, and if it vanished, would either of us ever truly be missed?
every year I make them bigger and better!
But for the journal... You are who you are. Be who you want to be!