Ugh...I really should be asleep right now. Sleep hasn't been coming easy though. I lost a friend earlier today. I say I did but...how can one loose something he never really had. That's mostly my fault though. I thought we were becoming friends but...it's not fair for me to assume. I'm not in a very objective frame of mind for this. Maybe once I get control of my emotions, we'll be able to just talk things out over the phone a bit. Heck...what I'd really like to do is be able to sit down with him and hash things out face to face over some beer or tequila as I'd prefer. Being on separate ends of the country don't help there but...maybe someday that'll happen. I don't wanna give up hope on the friendship yet. I'm not gonna be round here much for awhile. One of the things that may have lead to this depression is my forcing myself into this community. A blockhead trying to squeeze himself into a tiny round hole. Best thing is to take a step back from all this. I'll still drop by every once and awhile to see what's up but...I won't be contributing anything for quite some time. Drawing had been such a nice added stress relief for me but now...I try and draw and I get saddened over all the stupid things I've said and did while struggling with this mess. I know it's mostly my irrational mind but...I just don't feel like I belong here. Gonna get in touch with a counseling center tomorrow. See what I can work out. I gotta nice reassuring sign as I pulled into my church parking lot for choir practice. Suspended in the air was a perfect rainbow completely arching over the sky. hehehdhe...world had the last laugh though for as I activated my BlackBerry's camera to take a shot...the damn thing crashed and...of course after it spent over ten minutes booting back up, the rainbow had faded away. Good one world...yer twisted sense of humor shows up yet again *rolls eyes* Stay happy, healthy, and safe all. Take care.