I feel like your drive ended more around 2008 or so x.x You had a moment recently, but you still didn't seem to enjoy it. I think if you just relaxed and took a break to think about what you originally loved about it, and stopped thinking of it as a task, your drive should come back.

*huggles* at least you still have TF2 xD

well, you still have at least one fan, what ever you decide n.n

Yeah maybe though I just don't know how to shut off that voice in the back of my head that just keeps telling me "you have to draw at least something-Can't let yourself get rustier than you already are..."

If I can score a job soon or actually motivate myself to write/take photos probably could quell that annoyance with a lot more ease.

Hmm I guess that could be somewhat of a good thing having TF2 around. *shrugs*

Yeah, that voice is sure to quiet down if you use your creativity on another medium. I certainly wont mind seeing a few stories ^_~

well, you still have at least one fan, what ever you decide n.n

Good luck, whatever you do. But I hope your muse returns one day!

I wouldn't give up. I don't know the true reason behind all you're going through,but I wouldn't give up.
Don't know if you're doing it your admirers,yourself,or both. I draw to take some stress out of my life too! I'm glad some others enjoy what I've drawn so far! That helps too! I ain't gonna lie! You and others inspire me too!
I've read from your profile,you suffer from anxiety. Yeah,that's no good,if aggravating.
I hope you don't let that defeat you.
I'm not "wired" right myself !
Well,I hope you the best and do what's good for you!

It's a bit of both though not really towards my admirers here. The blame goes to my schooling and my dream to become a well known illustrator. Either somewhat in this fandom on just in the art market in general.

Unfortunately I find out even though I had been working hard at drawing through my whole childhood that when I was started taking classes in high school with other likeminded students I started to doubt that this dream was ever going to work out. I saw that the other students were lightyears ahead of me in abilities. Their work looked like it could get them into any college they wanted or get them a job instantly...Add that to the fact that the teacher of this class seemed to only want to help refine her favorite already great clique of female students rather than help out anyone else who was just average or subpar like me. All she seemed do was mainly look down on me, badmouth my work and never really give any useful advice or any help in using certain medias. I just had to struggle and find out myself if I was doing it right.

Then there's college. Biggest waste of money I made in my whole life. Thought art school would help me improve but all it has done is made me even more self consious and critical of my own work. I'm still at the bottom of my class yet many of the teachers pretty much lie to my face saying "oh your work is good." or "why are you so frustrated with it and wanting to change it?" and yet give me Cs or lower (normally the lower) on assignments.

I just want to be able to prove to myself I can be as good or better as my fellow classmates at college and the newbies that will be coming in when I get back from this time off from school to recover mentally that currently has no confirmed return date... (seeing how there are so many young artists even around here that put most older illustrators to shame...)

OMG! That sucks a lot!
I had a few of my dreams shattered by people like that! Not cool at all. It's not easy to find "like minded" people who are with you and want you to really get ahead.
They might be afraid to hurt your feelings? Have you ever told them how you feel about the way you've been treated?
Don't mean to sound rude,but you're paying these people to teach and guide you through every aspect of art you're wanting to learn! If they're doing you like that. If possible,I'd take my money and find some other place/people have the desire to teach you and make you feel satisfied about the your education! It's all about you! I hope you have some power in changing that condition.
Someone on FA felt the same way you felt about the younger artist "outdoing" what he could do. He's good,but he isn't so optimistic all the time. So comparing yourself with others? That's where problems of variety begins!
I think everyone goes through these moods,no matter successive they are! It can be a inspiring force or a breaking point! I don't want to go out on a limb here,people of all ages are still fascinated over artist that are dead! Besides,younger artist are exposed to the latest medias in art. "Digital" art! There was no such things as digital art,when I was growing up!
It's good to have more knowledge of different medias under your belt. I'm sure there's one or more medias you excel at,or desire?
Befriend someone that is willing to help you.
This world is full of competition. Even the most successful of any trade,still have fear of anybody else becoming better and see it as a "treat' to their success. They'll won't stop at anything to eliminate someone else' "potential". We all know that!
There still are some good people out there,that see past all this competition and be willing to share their trade secrets with you. It's a shame to die with them and not shared none one at all! But some people are funny like that! Don't let your thoughts hold you back either! I fight my negative thoughts too. Try to replace them with positive ones.

i have faith that one day you will enjoy drawing again :) if not thats ok. yer still a cool person IMO even if you dun draws *nuzzles*

Thanks.

I really Hope the drive to draw comes up again..
I enjoyed your style a lot..
Some times art doesn't have to look perfect to look good..
It just has to be done..
I liked how you did art whether it was off.. or spot on

It carried a certain style that I liked..

I dunno..

I have always wanted to get art from you..
I love what you did
I loved the style
I never saw anything wrong with it...

I hope it does too. Don't really want to just toss out one of my oldest hobbies like this just because of how my art experiences in school have gone and broken me.

I'm glad you like it. Just wish I could enjoy it as much at this moment too.

Some artists just lose their inspiration from time to time. Eventually, something will inspire that drive back into you and you'll find yourself with a new innovations.

Personally, I don't like to be a fanatic, but I loved your drawings back on FTT.

I guess, but it just seems that that inspiration has been gone for a few years now. Just really want it back. Guess the only thing I can do for now is just invest my time into some else. Hmm maybe its about time I kicked my lazy self into trying to get into writing again.

Funny you should mention that, I stopped writing to make TF2 maps. Usually a change of pace is what people need.

I'd suggest taking a break. Sometimes you just need to wait for an urge to draw rather than search for the inspiration to.
Personally. with school requiring me to draw and practice, the urge to do personal work is pretty much shot during the semester, but by the end of summer I've caught myself doodling here and there.

Hmm yeah guess that's the only thing I can really do now or invest my time into another medium. Maybe this might be a good time for me to try and get back into writing since drawing has always overshadowed it thanks to my focus on character design first, storywork second.

awww man zanza thats sad that drawing is becoming a stress for yous-cause you are great at it and I love your art. If you are doing commmisions maybe you should just stop doing commisions and draw when you want to at a more relaxed pace and just for you instead of others. I hope whatever u decide its only a short break cause you are a great artist *hugs* KB

Just really doesn't feel that way. Knowing how well folks were drawing in my college I just feel I'm still not up to par.

No I'm not doing commissions. Just been doing various drawing exercises everyday but feeling nothing was improving. Then looking at a lot of my older work and see the almost microscopic improvements from then to now just made just feel really disappointed.

I'm glad you like at least. Just wish I could enjoy it as much as everyone else tends to.

As a artist myself I critique my own work and alot of times I find errros in it that I dont like and wish that I cud take it back and fix-but others say there is nothing wrong with it. We as artists are perfectionalists(if thats even a word)-Try not to be so hard on yourself and just draw. I sometimes also compare my art to others and I know there art is better than mine but you cannot let that bother you that much-everyone has there own style and thats what you should be proud of. *hugs*