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The thoughts of a mind gone mad
15 years ago
General
Silently seated within a worn old armchair, sits a lonely figure shrounded in black robe and hood, casting only the sounds of soft breath as you approach.
With a silent gesture to a seat adjascent to his own, the robed figure becons for you to take rest in the seat, and only once you have, does a pair of slowly brightening red disks appear within his hood, and he speaks.
"One of the things in this world that often peaks my curiosity, really gets the gears in my head grinding on one another? People.
Or, more precisely, People and emotions, feelings, things like that.. and if they truely comprehend such things themselves.
On those few occasions in which I have need, I will go out and go to the city, and every time I do, every time even that I leave this house, the same thing will allways happen; I will see people. I see them there, walking down the streets, sitting behind cash registers, talking to one another.
I see them, I hear them, I feel and smell them, and within my heart, I hold only pity, and envy.
Why, you might wonder, would I feel these things when I see the common man and woman? the answer is quite simple; for most I pity them, because they will never know emotion that I have known, the shear levels of passionate joy and happiness, truely heartfelt love for another, regardless of flaw or fault.. they will never know what it is, to truely and completely love someone.. most will only ever know this mockery they call love, fleeting and so easily cast aside.
But, as I look upon them with pity, the anger of envy will burn within me.. because in the same moment, I concider them blessed, because likely they will never know the pain such emotions can bring. Content in their ignorance fueled bliss."
Chuckling in a firm, dark tone, he lightly tilts his head back against his seat, casting back his hood just enough to reveal angular black plating that made his face, and the glowing red lenses of his eyes, devoid of any emotion
"Have you, as you sit here before me, known true love? have you ever been able to think of someone, and truely, truthfully say that they are everything to you? that you would give your heart, mind, body and soul for them? even give up your life for them, if it would make them safe, make them happy?
No, I would suppose that you have not, very few have ever spoken those words truthfully, very few indeed.. and in such, I am not sure if you are cursed, or blessed, like those I see each day
I, have known true love.. a love that runs so deeply through the being, that it is allmost as vital as the very blood which flows through the veins, and the breath we breathe.. and such can be a sensation that will take you to the very pinicals of rapturouse joy... but also bring you to the darkest depths of maddening sorrow.. I know both these feelings well, and is perhaps why I view others as I do"
Slowly rising from his seat, he casts a silent glance down toward you, a slight cock of his head hinting curiosity as thick streams of red smoke blow from the small vents on his mask's 'mouth' area before he spoke once more, his voice allmost sad
"This world, as flawed and cruel as it can be, is still a wonderouse place, filled with light and joy, if only you know where to look for it.. never forget this, dear listener, as you sit there before me, hearing my words.. and long after I am gone and this room is silent.. for I may never know love again in this world, eternally lost in the darkness.. but, maybe this is how it must be? I belive that others will know true love, and they will know only the purest, and most warming sensations.. perhaps by being the one who knows only darkness and cruelty, I will feel it enough, so you and others need never feel it"
Giving but a curt bow of his waist and a final look upon his viewers expression, he seemed to give off a allmost.. content air to the room, before pulling his hood completely up once more, and mearly slipping back into the same silent, motionless position he had been in before your arrival and letting the light fade completely from his 'eyes'
With a silent gesture to a seat adjascent to his own, the robed figure becons for you to take rest in the seat, and only once you have, does a pair of slowly brightening red disks appear within his hood, and he speaks.
"One of the things in this world that often peaks my curiosity, really gets the gears in my head grinding on one another? People.
Or, more precisely, People and emotions, feelings, things like that.. and if they truely comprehend such things themselves.
On those few occasions in which I have need, I will go out and go to the city, and every time I do, every time even that I leave this house, the same thing will allways happen; I will see people. I see them there, walking down the streets, sitting behind cash registers, talking to one another.
I see them, I hear them, I feel and smell them, and within my heart, I hold only pity, and envy.
Why, you might wonder, would I feel these things when I see the common man and woman? the answer is quite simple; for most I pity them, because they will never know emotion that I have known, the shear levels of passionate joy and happiness, truely heartfelt love for another, regardless of flaw or fault.. they will never know what it is, to truely and completely love someone.. most will only ever know this mockery they call love, fleeting and so easily cast aside.
But, as I look upon them with pity, the anger of envy will burn within me.. because in the same moment, I concider them blessed, because likely they will never know the pain such emotions can bring. Content in their ignorance fueled bliss."
Chuckling in a firm, dark tone, he lightly tilts his head back against his seat, casting back his hood just enough to reveal angular black plating that made his face, and the glowing red lenses of his eyes, devoid of any emotion
"Have you, as you sit here before me, known true love? have you ever been able to think of someone, and truely, truthfully say that they are everything to you? that you would give your heart, mind, body and soul for them? even give up your life for them, if it would make them safe, make them happy?
No, I would suppose that you have not, very few have ever spoken those words truthfully, very few indeed.. and in such, I am not sure if you are cursed, or blessed, like those I see each day
I, have known true love.. a love that runs so deeply through the being, that it is allmost as vital as the very blood which flows through the veins, and the breath we breathe.. and such can be a sensation that will take you to the very pinicals of rapturouse joy... but also bring you to the darkest depths of maddening sorrow.. I know both these feelings well, and is perhaps why I view others as I do"
Slowly rising from his seat, he casts a silent glance down toward you, a slight cock of his head hinting curiosity as thick streams of red smoke blow from the small vents on his mask's 'mouth' area before he spoke once more, his voice allmost sad
"This world, as flawed and cruel as it can be, is still a wonderouse place, filled with light and joy, if only you know where to look for it.. never forget this, dear listener, as you sit there before me, hearing my words.. and long after I am gone and this room is silent.. for I may never know love again in this world, eternally lost in the darkness.. but, maybe this is how it must be? I belive that others will know true love, and they will know only the purest, and most warming sensations.. perhaps by being the one who knows only darkness and cruelty, I will feel it enough, so you and others need never feel it"
Giving but a curt bow of his waist and a final look upon his viewers expression, he seemed to give off a allmost.. content air to the room, before pulling his hood completely up once more, and mearly slipping back into the same silent, motionless position he had been in before your arrival and letting the light fade completely from his 'eyes'
perhaps, in some way, they are right, in some ways, they are wrong, who knows.
Reminds me of a conversation between two men on a train as they look out the window. "So many lives, all going on. So much happening, so much we'll never know." The other replies "We won't know. We can't know."
I nolonger care for the troubles of others.
I nolonger care as much as I once did for the comfort of others.
I nolonger feel which I once felt.
Perhaps it is mearly full circle, I started this life cold and worthless, and now I return to such.
Then again, everyone has their take on things. This is just mine.
*On a side note: Ever considered to use this lyrical ability of yours to write any stories?
Perhaps we are the sane ones, because we accept our madness, and they are the insane, for living a life of dilusion
As I always said: We're all crazy. Its just a matter of how often you listen to the voices.