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15 years ago
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Found a great site with stories where the customer is not always right. These were some of my favs that I wanted to share :)
Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At
Phone Company | London, UK
Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”
Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”
Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”
Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”
Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”
Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*
If Only They Ran On Hot Air
Retail | Wisconsin, USA
Customer: “I’d like to ask someone about my watches. It’s not working right. I think it’s broken.”
Me: “Oh. Yes, the second hand doesn’t seem to be moving much. The battery is probably dying.”
Customer: “But my husband bought this for me!”
Me: “Well, we don’t sell batteries here, but I–”
Customer: “He just bought it here!”
Me: “Do you see another one like it in the display?”
Customer: “No! But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”
Me: “It does look like it’s the battery because the hands are still moving, just not moving on time. It would be unusual for our batteries to die that soon. Do you have the original receipt?
Customer: “Why would I have that? He bought it 3 or 4 years ago!
Me: “Oh. If he bought the watch 3 or 4 years ago, then it probably is the battery.”
Customer: “But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”
Me: “If it was purchased several years ago, the battery has been running for several years.”
Customer: “But why would it run when I’m not wearing it?!”
Nip-Picking
Vet | Ontario, Canada
(A customer brings her dog to the front desk in a panic.)
Customer: “My dog has fleas, so I need you to help me. I have been using the flea medication you gave me, but I can still see flea eggs.”
Me: “Ma’am, you can see flea eggs?”
Customer: “I have been trying to pick them off, but they seem to be stuck.”
Me: “Ok, can you show me the eggs you have been trying to pick off?”
(Customer lifts up the dog to show me it’s belly.)
Customer: “See! These!”
Me: “Ma’am, those are not flea eggs, they are his nipples.”
Customer: “Nipples? But he’s a male, how does he have nipples? They have to be flea eggs.”
Me: “I assure you, he has no fleas, and the ‘eggs’ you have been trying to pick off are in fact his nipples.”
Customer: “Get the vet, you don’t know what you’re talking about, he’s a male! He can’t have nipples.”
Me: “Ma’am, do human males have nipples?”
Customer: *stares blankly for a moment* “Well s***!” *walks out*
Birthday Cele-Berations
Party Store | Elkhart, IN, USA
Customer: “You don’t have much of a selection for ninetieth birthday parties.”
Me: “Not many people live that long. Most of our suppliers don’t carry anything past the sixtieth birthday decorations.”
Customer: “It’s all because of Obama, you know. With his health care system, they just put you out to pasture once you’re sixty-five, and that’s the end of you. He probably told everyone to stop selling things with eighty and ninety on it, so people won’t want to live as long.”
The Land Of The Free From Thought
Cafe | London
(I work in a cafe popular with tourists. During one afternoon I see an American man lighting a cigarette. We have a smoking ban in the UK that bans smoking in all public places.)
Me: “Excuse me sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to smoke that cigarette outside.”
Customer: “Why?”
(I explain the smoking ban to him.)
Customer: “That’s bulls***! That’s a breach of the First Amendment!”
Me: “Sir, I have no idea what that is, though I think it’s something to do with free speech.”
Customer: *shocked* “How can you not know the First Amendment? It’s the law!”
Me: “It’s your law, judging by your accent. We have a completely different set of laws.”
Customer: “England has its own laws?”
Loony Over A Loonie
Gas Station | Ontario, Canada
(I am ringing out an American girl. Keep in mind Canada uses coins for $1 and $2.)
Me: “…and your change is $3.64. You have a wonderful day.”
Customer: “Excuse me, you didn’t give me the right change.”
Me: “Yes I did.”
Customer: “No you didn’t. You only gave me coins, no paper.”
Me: “Ma’am, we’re in Canada, and here we use coins.” *I hold up a $1 coin* “This is a loonie, and is worth $1.”
Customer: “What’s a Canada?”
Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney
School | Colorado Springs, CO, USA
(I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)
Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”
Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”
Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”
Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”
Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”
Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”
High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)
Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”
Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”
Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”
Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”
Manager: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”
(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)
Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”
Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”
Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At
Phone Company | London, UK
Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”
Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”
Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”
Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”
Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”
Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*
If Only They Ran On Hot Air
Retail | Wisconsin, USA
Customer: “I’d like to ask someone about my watches. It’s not working right. I think it’s broken.”
Me: “Oh. Yes, the second hand doesn’t seem to be moving much. The battery is probably dying.”
Customer: “But my husband bought this for me!”
Me: “Well, we don’t sell batteries here, but I–”
Customer: “He just bought it here!”
Me: “Do you see another one like it in the display?”
Customer: “No! But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”
Me: “It does look like it’s the battery because the hands are still moving, just not moving on time. It would be unusual for our batteries to die that soon. Do you have the original receipt?
Customer: “Why would I have that? He bought it 3 or 4 years ago!
Me: “Oh. If he bought the watch 3 or 4 years ago, then it probably is the battery.”
Customer: “But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”
Me: “If it was purchased several years ago, the battery has been running for several years.”
Customer: “But why would it run when I’m not wearing it?!”
Nip-Picking
Vet | Ontario, Canada
(A customer brings her dog to the front desk in a panic.)
Customer: “My dog has fleas, so I need you to help me. I have been using the flea medication you gave me, but I can still see flea eggs.”
Me: “Ma’am, you can see flea eggs?”
Customer: “I have been trying to pick them off, but they seem to be stuck.”
Me: “Ok, can you show me the eggs you have been trying to pick off?”
(Customer lifts up the dog to show me it’s belly.)
Customer: “See! These!”
Me: “Ma’am, those are not flea eggs, they are his nipples.”
Customer: “Nipples? But he’s a male, how does he have nipples? They have to be flea eggs.”
Me: “I assure you, he has no fleas, and the ‘eggs’ you have been trying to pick off are in fact his nipples.”
Customer: “Get the vet, you don’t know what you’re talking about, he’s a male! He can’t have nipples.”
Me: “Ma’am, do human males have nipples?”
Customer: *stares blankly for a moment* “Well s***!” *walks out*
Birthday Cele-Berations
Party Store | Elkhart, IN, USA
Customer: “You don’t have much of a selection for ninetieth birthday parties.”
Me: “Not many people live that long. Most of our suppliers don’t carry anything past the sixtieth birthday decorations.”
Customer: “It’s all because of Obama, you know. With his health care system, they just put you out to pasture once you’re sixty-five, and that’s the end of you. He probably told everyone to stop selling things with eighty and ninety on it, so people won’t want to live as long.”
The Land Of The Free From Thought
Cafe | London
(I work in a cafe popular with tourists. During one afternoon I see an American man lighting a cigarette. We have a smoking ban in the UK that bans smoking in all public places.)
Me: “Excuse me sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to smoke that cigarette outside.”
Customer: “Why?”
(I explain the smoking ban to him.)
Customer: “That’s bulls***! That’s a breach of the First Amendment!”
Me: “Sir, I have no idea what that is, though I think it’s something to do with free speech.”
Customer: *shocked* “How can you not know the First Amendment? It’s the law!”
Me: “It’s your law, judging by your accent. We have a completely different set of laws.”
Customer: “England has its own laws?”
Loony Over A Loonie
Gas Station | Ontario, Canada
(I am ringing out an American girl. Keep in mind Canada uses coins for $1 and $2.)
Me: “…and your change is $3.64. You have a wonderful day.”
Customer: “Excuse me, you didn’t give me the right change.”
Me: “Yes I did.”
Customer: “No you didn’t. You only gave me coins, no paper.”
Me: “Ma’am, we’re in Canada, and here we use coins.” *I hold up a $1 coin* “This is a loonie, and is worth $1.”
Customer: “What’s a Canada?”
Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney
School | Colorado Springs, CO, USA
(I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)
Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”
Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”
Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”
Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”
Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”
Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”
High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)
Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”
Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”
Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”
Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”
Manager: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”
(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)
Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”
Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”
Our music history teacher had one posted on her door:
(I am a customer talking to a sales person when I am interrupted by another customer.)
Customer: “Do you have any Beethoven?”
Sales Person: “Certainly, our Classical section has quite a selection of Beethoven.”
Customer: “Well, I couldn’t find any of Beethoven, only various orchestras performing Beethoven’s music. Don’t you have any live Beethoven?”
Sales Person: “Well, no we don’t, and I don’t think you will manage to find that anywhere.”
Customer: “Well I bet [other store] has it across the way.”
Sales Person: “Well, I would doubt that, but you are welcome to check.”
Customer: “Why don’t you think they will have it?”
Me: (I just had to interrupt.) “Well, because everyone knows that all the live copies of Beethoven burned up in his estate fire.”
Customer: “Well I didn’t know that. So if there are no live recordings anywhere, how do people know what it sounds like?”
Me: “Well the sheet music was luckily printed on fireproof paper.”
Customer: “Wow, they had fireproof paper back then?”
but we still get our share of stupidity -__-
http://mylifeisaverage.com/
http://quitting-time.com/
http://notalwaysright.com/
http://www.gppcomic.com/
http://www.lastpolarbears.com/blog/.....rs-super-bear/
http://www.givesmehope.com/
http://www.dearblankpleaseblank.com/
http://www.tasteofawesome.com/
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
http://www.daisyowl.com/