You are a Terminator? :)

When I was a kid, I liked to think I was an android sent from the future.

Then I got my first X-ray. Turns out I was made of bone and muscle just like everyone else.

Isn' that how the T-800 and later models start out? :)

Your icon makes you kind of appear to be coming in on a different frequency from everyone else.

Hmm. Never thought of it like that.

We're all tryin' to tune in to hear ya if it makes you feel better!

wow.... i have a similar issue there... well... alomst exact

My mind is also pretty inaccessible.

I would say that making these little journals and your art is a good step towards better self-expression. Self-Expression isn't easy, and opening up doesn't happen overnight. Keep it up Zombie, you're going the right way!

Me, well I keep to myself. I somehow also manage to not only keep my head in the clouds nearly every waking moment of my life, but also manage to be grounded in certain aspects as well.

I have no opinion on this journal.

i guess then, i should ask you whats on my mind?



or maybe ill just roll around for a bit then go home

CAN YOUR BLANDNESS BE ON A COMPLETE OTHER LEVEL THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S?

you like animals and you like to draw
just leave out the part where you want to suck animal cocks

Vacation. Seriously. Get some time off work, buy a cheap Amtrak ticket (planes are stupid expensive and greyhound's only a little cheaper but absolutely horrid), and go somewhere. It sounds stupid, but a change of environment can do so much for one's self-identity and worth.

so true, just heading into town to get a hair cut the other day helped me get out of a funk I was in for a few days and afterwards, I felt better than I had in weeks, just cause of casual interaction with people.

Welcome to the club ;)

Why does that seem so familiar...
:/

Nothing makes me more paralyzed than people asking what I do on my free time. I don't want to give the honest answer, but I hate lying too.

Especially when the truth is ... well ... boring, like mine.

Tell them you like to drill in your spare time. :p

"I like to climb on construction equipment and take my clothes off."

That actually happened once, for me, so it isn't a lie.

I also actually did enjoy it.

You should try asking yourself why you keep hiding your feelings from others.

you just need some friends who know what you do (a.k.a. hat you draw and like) and understand and are okay with it, 'cause the more that you can show to people the more out going and open you can become. I've been trying to make some friends that I can act like that around, but I won't lie, it's hard to find such good friends and I only have a small few, but don't let that get you down, they are out there somewhere.

When I'm not being used, I have a little box on top of the piano, next to the potted zygo, where I wait.

Bullshit

You have loads of personality, it's just woven into your actions. It's why we love you.

Dude. I could swear the indicator that this journal post didn't show up until five minutes before now. What's going on?

You've become unstuck in time.

That's why I don't have any friends

That's all you do? All the time? In your life you haven't the slightest opinion or curiosity about anything else in the world? When you walk into a bookstore you just stand there? Naaah.

I'll either check out the art magazines or the sci-fi section.

I don't believe that to be a lack of personality; there is a huge difference between introverts and extroverts - an introvert comparing themselves to an extrovert always feels like comparing cardboard to a perfect Belgian ale or a perfectly cooked steak.

We always feel inadequate in that area, but we aren't; it's just that an introvert's world is much broader, focused on the mind instead of the body.

Still waters run deep.

Hmm.

Yes, and maybe you just don't open up because you don't find many people that are interesting that you want to talk to. I bet you socialize you just can't remember it.

You wear the mask long enough you start to forget what the face underneath looks like. But it's still there.

I find the premise that you have no personality slightly hard to swallow. I know you well enough to say that you are passionate about your interests. I do suggest a change of scenery though, as others have.

I was passionate about something? I don't remember that.

... you're a normal guy?

People don't think alot more often than most people realize. o.o

Hey.

I stumbled across that picture you requested back in April. It's mostly finished ... well, it's presentable. I never got around to doing the insert shot. You okay with me uploading it as-is?

Lil shy, but if you'd proud of it, show it off dude.

you're*

Oh, I don't need to upload it. I can email it to you if you'd prefer. I just figured I need to do SOMETHING with it, since it's been so long.

Either way ZC. I'll toss you my email but it's totally your decision. I'd never discourage you from posting something you wanted to.

And thank you. c:

i know exactly how you feel, zombie. *gives hugs*

Hey, me neither!

Of course, no one ever really asks me what's on my mind either.

If you peel away the armor, is something underneath?
If you look below for hidden treasure underneath another layer...
Are you hiding underneath the skin?

If you peel away the skin is there anybody there?
If you peel away the armor is it too late to begin?
Is there anybody hiding, if you peel away the skin?

Duuuude, I'm pretty sure that just about everyone is in the same situation of having to hide a lot of things from the outside world and such. I'm sure you can find a way to get back in touch with those inner parts of yourself that you've hidden away.

I was in kind of the same situation, you know. I was always a weird kid; even long before I knew that my love of 90's anthropomorphic animal hero cartoons meant I was a furry, and even before I realized that I wasn't as straight as my misguided homophobic teenage mind was peer-pressured into having to be, I was STILL weird, so I've always had to hide things deep inside and only let the more outward, acceptable parts show. I suppose I lost touch with all those hidden-away parts for a while... but THEN I was able to get back in touch with some of it by giving it form as a character. AND THAT IS THE EXCITING TALE OF WHY MY FURSONA IS TWINS!! :U

Oh yeah? I didn't know that .... or I forgot from the last time you told me, more likely ...

I once tried doing that. The "cat" was my normal, outward personality, and I had a fox character who was my weird inner personality. I think I only drew the concept like ... once. So it wasn't terribly well fleshed out.

Years later, but back when I was still uptight about the horrible things I drew, I turned the fox into a rat. That got a little more mileage. Even used him as an alias on a couple adult oekaki boards back before I joined FA. Aaaaand then I killed him off in a fit of self loathing. =I

I do like the concept, though. Maybe I'll revisit it. In a less bloodily violent manner.

"So what's on your mind?"

Day dreaming about the exact moment you stop asking me that fucking question...

"Sublime" is a personallity type.

I know where you're coming from.

Hmm...maybe you're a cylon; they're made to look human, after all. On a more serious note, if this isn't causing you any problems emotionally, then I'd not worry about it. Just keep an eye out for suppressed emotional stress.

-BC

if I didn't know better, I'd have thought I wrote this journal entry.

I love the way your mind works... it's... enduring and cute

My brain goes churn, grind, squish.