(to those of you who dont understand mormon termonology, just pretend the things you dont understand are super important to me).

So, I am in church today, and its all good and dandy, except the second counselor to the stake president is there.

Normally not a bad thing. But see, I am a returned missionary who went home just a tad bit early (generally major shame) for reasons not a single person knows (I keep hush hush despite it being an honorable release). Now, this also wouldnt matter, if not for the fact that his daugter is the ex love of my life and I had spent every single day at her house hanging out with her (up until she got engaged and broke my sorry heart) before my mission. Needless to say, he knows me well, and for insecure reasons, I love that family and dont want them thinking less of me for coming home (generally not a big deal, but still. Its a personal thing.)

So, as soon as sacrament was done with I b line it for the door when he cuts me off and is all "sorry to hear about your early return"

"it happens" would have been a great thing to say. Unfortunately, my tongue slipped and well, "shit happens".

Not something you say to your stake presidents counselor, fail on me.