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HELP NEEDED
14 years ago
so, ive never really asked for help with anything before. ive always been on my own and just fine. But no matter what i do or try to do i cant seem to help her...
long story short, before my fiance met me she was with another guy, who at one point, slammed a door beat her until she was semi-unconcious and raped her. (shocking dramatic yes i know but this is key)
now every time a door slams or if someone hits the door she curls up into the fetal position and cries harder than ive ever seen anyone cry. if u approach her during this period she screams and tries to kick scratch or hit u in any way she can. she said its because that moment scared her so badly and scarred her for life that when that sound (of the door being hit or slammed) occurs she goes into her "hpyer defense mode" as she calls it. Ive never seen someone or something so scared in my life. the fear in her eyes and the way she breathes it breaks my heart..
im just looking for a way to help her overcome this fear. because i will never hurt her, i have never hut her... but it hurts me so bad to se her this way... so if anyone has tips for what i can do... please.. please..
long story short, before my fiance met me she was with another guy, who at one point, slammed a door beat her until she was semi-unconcious and raped her. (shocking dramatic yes i know but this is key)
now every time a door slams or if someone hits the door she curls up into the fetal position and cries harder than ive ever seen anyone cry. if u approach her during this period she screams and tries to kick scratch or hit u in any way she can. she said its because that moment scared her so badly and scarred her for life that when that sound (of the door being hit or slammed) occurs she goes into her "hpyer defense mode" as she calls it. Ive never seen someone or something so scared in my life. the fear in her eyes and the way she breathes it breaks my heart..
im just looking for a way to help her overcome this fear. because i will never hurt her, i have never hut her... but it hurts me so bad to se her this way... so if anyone has tips for what i can do... please.. please..
sadly she may be like this the rest of her life as bad as that sounds
i would suggest therapy or couceling but i know first had that talking doesnt do shit, but maybe that was one of those rare things or jus that way for me.
me an my love understand where your coming from though.
i wish i could help more but i really dont know what to say...
it means alot to me that you cared enough to try and help. ill take any advice i can get. i just dont want her to be scared anymore. shes been through so much, its her time to shine. its why i asked her to marry me.. i mean im 21 shes 19 not even done with college, but i just want her to have a perfect care free life from now on.. and if i can fix this one small terrifying issue, i think i can complete my goal.
jus try to be there for her the best you can an try to sooth her with actions and words. but jus dont think of this issue as small though becuz trust me its not small.