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Getting over the fear
15 years ago
I'm trying to make it a personal policy to not write about the things I'm into at any given moment, as an incentive to produce an interesting drawing rather than some dry prose in a journal. But there are times when it's emotionally impossible for some reason. It can be super nerve-wracking to translate certain ideas into a drawing, especially if it's one of those really embarrassing ones that could potentially change FOREVER the way people look at you. Just seeing it appear on a page or on a screen can fills you with a kind of self-loathing that makes the mind freeze up and go into panic mode.
Sometimes it's the jokes. You anticipate the jokes you're going to get, because you've seen them a billion times over. I think it's because some fetishes are just deemed funnier and more frivolous than others. But the artist doesn't always see it that way.
Most of the time though it's completely inexplicable. Not that you have no idea why it's happening, you can pin the blame specifically on the images of people turning their backs on you because you're into a weird, socially compromising thing. But finding the source of that anxiety forces you into some pretty mucky and ambiguous emotional terrain. That emotional dredging exercise is inevitably an alienating experience that you'd rather not go through, so you don't draw that particular fantasy, and you don't share it. It's much easier to give up than to press forward, and the personal reward for doing so is really not worth the effort. Even so, now there's someone all alone out there who won't get to see your drawing and go "fuck, there's someone else out there who's just like me!" You have to measure out whether it's worth it to you to take a hit for someone else to feel a sense of belonging. Usually, uh, the ego wins.
I have a reputation that precedes me for drawing fucked up shit. Swatcher gets his mad squick on sometimes. I don't actually set out to scare anyone, I don't ever think "man, this isn't terrifying enough" while I'm drawing a thing. But I can't deny that it's there. That said, I've found it pretty useful to have this veneer of horror and insanity. Do you know why? Because while some people will never get over that kind of superficial aspect, their closed-mindedness and judgmental attitude will be kept safely at a distance by the mechanism of their own fear. If it gets to the point where you're not at all frightened or weirded out by anything I draw, it means that you understand my personality extremely well. The reactions I get are a great bellweather for friendships. The people I will never ever be friends put themselves in that position immediately with their "what is this I don't even" and their "lol looks like dr. zeus" comments. The people I become instantly friendly with are the people who don't understand why anyone thinks I'm creepy, haha.
Fear and anxiety are such things to get over! They're so pernicious! Especially when all you want to do is be "normal" because normal people don't have to deal with our problems. We put ourselves through endless humiliating contortions and guilty public admissions and play a bit of a social capital chess game just to relate to other human beings on a sexual level while maintaining our status as sane, well-adjusted beings. I can't help but feel like an alien all the time when I'm physically and chemically uninterested in that conventional view of sexuality presented in every fucking Hollywood movie. Like if the universe were democratic in the way it thinks it is, we would be the weird, aberrant ones. You know, we're "perverts", we're "deviants", we have "alternative sexualities", we "fetishize", as if all of sexuality weren't about some weird biochemical process we have little control over. But in a solipsistic universe, which is the universe we kind of experience as individuals whether we like it or not, everyone else is a fucked up pervert and we're the normal ones.
But I digress, this is already getting long and rambly. Presenting frightening situations is a great way of pushing away the people who will never understand you, because all the people who are even just curious about what kind of person you are will automatically be so much less of a headache to deal with. Pushing the envelope over what's permissible with whatever fetish you have keeps the game REALLY interesting for everyone else with that fetish, too.
Okay cool, now with that pep talk out of the way I feel pumped to draw all sorts of alienating shit that will make you all unwatch me. :)
Sometimes it's the jokes. You anticipate the jokes you're going to get, because you've seen them a billion times over. I think it's because some fetishes are just deemed funnier and more frivolous than others. But the artist doesn't always see it that way.
Most of the time though it's completely inexplicable. Not that you have no idea why it's happening, you can pin the blame specifically on the images of people turning their backs on you because you're into a weird, socially compromising thing. But finding the source of that anxiety forces you into some pretty mucky and ambiguous emotional terrain. That emotional dredging exercise is inevitably an alienating experience that you'd rather not go through, so you don't draw that particular fantasy, and you don't share it. It's much easier to give up than to press forward, and the personal reward for doing so is really not worth the effort. Even so, now there's someone all alone out there who won't get to see your drawing and go "fuck, there's someone else out there who's just like me!" You have to measure out whether it's worth it to you to take a hit for someone else to feel a sense of belonging. Usually, uh, the ego wins.
I have a reputation that precedes me for drawing fucked up shit. Swatcher gets his mad squick on sometimes. I don't actually set out to scare anyone, I don't ever think "man, this isn't terrifying enough" while I'm drawing a thing. But I can't deny that it's there. That said, I've found it pretty useful to have this veneer of horror and insanity. Do you know why? Because while some people will never get over that kind of superficial aspect, their closed-mindedness and judgmental attitude will be kept safely at a distance by the mechanism of their own fear. If it gets to the point where you're not at all frightened or weirded out by anything I draw, it means that you understand my personality extremely well. The reactions I get are a great bellweather for friendships. The people I will never ever be friends put themselves in that position immediately with their "what is this I don't even" and their "lol looks like dr. zeus" comments. The people I become instantly friendly with are the people who don't understand why anyone thinks I'm creepy, haha.
Fear and anxiety are such things to get over! They're so pernicious! Especially when all you want to do is be "normal" because normal people don't have to deal with our problems. We put ourselves through endless humiliating contortions and guilty public admissions and play a bit of a social capital chess game just to relate to other human beings on a sexual level while maintaining our status as sane, well-adjusted beings. I can't help but feel like an alien all the time when I'm physically and chemically uninterested in that conventional view of sexuality presented in every fucking Hollywood movie. Like if the universe were democratic in the way it thinks it is, we would be the weird, aberrant ones. You know, we're "perverts", we're "deviants", we have "alternative sexualities", we "fetishize", as if all of sexuality weren't about some weird biochemical process we have little control over. But in a solipsistic universe, which is the universe we kind of experience as individuals whether we like it or not, everyone else is a fucked up pervert and we're the normal ones.
But I digress, this is already getting long and rambly. Presenting frightening situations is a great way of pushing away the people who will never understand you, because all the people who are even just curious about what kind of person you are will automatically be so much less of a headache to deal with. Pushing the envelope over what's permissible with whatever fetish you have keeps the game REALLY interesting for everyone else with that fetish, too.
Okay cool, now with that pep talk out of the way I feel pumped to draw all sorts of alienating shit that will make you all unwatch me. :)
I think I've gotten over a lot of the personal negative feelings, but it is still there sometimes.
Your stuff I don't feel is really terrible.
Since recently I have been very open about being furry and most of my family accept that I also started meeting a larger furry community in my area. I have to be careful to what I post or watch, because my family and friends may see it, so I understand were you are coming from.
Not all artists create things they personally identify with. While I know you tend to, is there any space to mentally decouple yourself from your work, even if you are into the subject? In my opinion it doesn't have to be a choice between being hush-hush and relentlessly exposing your innermost desires... an artist can step back, reframe the discussion, and have it be about causing discomfort or testing limits... your own or others'. You drew it because you're not into it and want to explore that, or you drew it as a challenge to yourself because someone else requested it. Or heck, you could just be the sort of person who enjoys squicking people for fun. There are many ways to interpret a work... it doesn't have to be "he's into that, what a freak". Heck, you could just be coy, never admitting which is the truth, adding mystery to your persona. :)
I've draw things I do not want or like, but I don't get too worried about people mistaking them for things I do like, because even though it came from my hand it's not necessarily about me. Perhaps a better example is my fetish photography (which I can't show here, alas). I haven't done much 'pro' work, but the stuff I have done involves dominatrixes/women in saucy/crazy outfits. I'm gay. I don't like boobs. But I do like taking pictures of boobs because they get a great response in fetish photographs. It's not about my taste, it's about producing something that resonates (for good or bad). I like working with dominatrixes as a photographer, not as a client.
Granted, it's still quite revealing when you post adult fetish work, I'm obviously someone with at least a passing interest in kink and such, or I wouldn't be shooting it. But that doesn't mean that every picture of mine is a window into my deepest desires, and that's what keeps me objective.
Second, I really like what you've said about pre-filtering friendships. There's a lot of efficiency in driving people without the fortitude to endure your idiosyncrasies away before you even know them... this is something I think about myself a lot, and one of the biggest reasons I try not to 'soften' my online communication. I figure if people can't deal with my chat, they can opt out without me even knowing. :)
And finally, I hope I get to see something disturbed from you soon. Don't be teasin' us with a soul-searching pep-talk that leads to nothing! Keep at it! :)
That said, why do YOU need to be objective when shooting fetish photography? Do you ever shoot photos to express your own desires, your own sexuality?
Let me give you a more concrete example. When I was younger, to indulge my diaper fetish I'd buy them at local drug stores. I was literally exposing my kink to the public, in person. 20-something guys don't buy diapers! This is wholly embarrassing, and a huge roadblock for many DLs. However, what I focused on is that I could be there reluctantly buying them for a visiting grandparent, indignant that my family had sent me to the store to do it. AKA, there are other legitimate reasons I could be there, so fuck what people assume about it. They have no idea. I'd just stand in line like "fuck, why do I have to do this?" which is remarkably close to "fuck, I can't believe I'm doing this." and it got me through the ordeal. And not once in my life did anyone ever challenge me and ask if I was buying them for myself. I was just another sale at the store. I rapidly went from feeling like I was horribly exposed to feeling like i was successfully pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, a mischievous accomplishment.
I don't need to be objective to shoot pictures, not at all. I'm not saying that. I was just using my fetish photography as an example, and only my 'pro' work with a model, not my homemade porn with pals. Seeing the pro stuff, you could think I was into big tits and lesbo domination. But I'm not. Just because I make something doesn't necessitate it being deeply personal... and nobody has any clue one way or the other unless I open my mouth and tell them. It's that ambiguity I'm suggesting you focus on, for comfort.
Now with homemade porn it's a little different because it's my dick, my body, and both are attached to my face, so it's unavoidable that you know I'd at least put on a pair of panties and stay hard if you saw me in a photo, in a pair of panties, hard. Let's set that kind of stuff aside. With drawing, that's not the case. You see yourself in the character, but it's not your dick on screen. It's circumstantial evidence at best. Hold onto that. My objectivity isn't about my art, It's about other people's ability to have any clue what the fuck it is I'm really doing, so what they think about it (or me) is less important. That's enough to get me through the ordeal of sharing my more personal artwork, despite how people could react to it. It lets me restrict their response to the work itself, not my character. Perhaps they could stretch a bit and critique my decision making abilities, but certainly not my morality or mental health, not based on an image.
Think of yourself as an actor. Does an actor take a role of a killer because they identify with it, or because it's a challenge? Nobody really knows without being told. I am sure there are some of both. Does it matter if the performance is good?
I guess a quick way to put his would be: Remember that your motivation is, in part, decoupled from your product. Thrive in the gray area.
Stepping back, I worry you could possibly make your anxiety worse by openly talking about the anxiety itself. You're removing any ambiguity, instead of being coy. The more you do it, the more people will know your art is about your personal buttons. Me? When I draw someone's head being chopped off, I doesn't mean I want to chop someone's head off. I just like to draw a head being chopped off, for whatever the reason... shock, humor, provocation, titillation, anger... who can say? Alas, by painting yourself as someone on the rack about revealing your deepest fantasies, you can bet that people will assume you're doing just that when you post. The cat's out of the bag! But that doesn't mean you can't use the way of thinking I've suggested to comfort yourself. It's not about other people or what they think, it's what you think about other people that matters, at least in my experience.
Did that make more sense?
Again, I'm not looking for advice. You don't know me super well and so you don't know how I deal with personal problems. What works for you doesn't work for me in this situation.
Even if I'm not *into* something you draw, I can still look at it, tilt my head back and forth like a dog listening to sitar music, and say "Neat."
:)
Beyond that, there's plenty of art out there in the mainstream that's just as strange an intriguing. The fact that anyone's responding so dumbly hostile towards yours is just a lack of exposure if anything else.
"Does this work for me?"
That sort of thing. So thanks! :D
I can see the guilt though...I have an undue amount of trouble commissioning people for certain fetish art over the fear of even an isolated turn down in a note. To actually produce it would be potentially nerve racking if you are having to appeal to people.
There was a great quote though from MST3K fame's Joel Hodgson regarding making their show for mass appeal that went something like:
"We never ask, ‘Who’s gonna get this?’ We always say, ‘The right people will get this."
And that's really the important thing, right?
However, I watch you, and have no intention of unwatching you, and it's precisely because your art stirs such strong feelings- conveys such an acute idea.
Occasionally you draw things I have no interest in, (toilet stuff) but I can generally tell from the thumbnails, and simply don't click through to the image. I honestly don't understand people who will unwatch over one weird image.
I think a trap people fall into in thinking you are weird or something is not just brought on by whether or not they actually feel that way in the core of their being, but sort of also an instinctive stigma because your art may not be what they are used to in mainstream furry drawings; both of which are silly things to happen and should not be things that shape how you see people. Alas.
I hope more embrace more art so you have to do these kinds of pep talks less.
But trust me, I can relate to getting weird looks just because of the sorts of things I can get into. If you've seen some of the stuff I write, you can maybe see why this can come to grate on me after a while.
I've always found your work and writing interesting because you've taken that step to indulge in these fantasies that others are too repressed to freely explore, and moreover, you're articulate about your intentions.
I actually feel extremely similarly to the concepts you've mentioned. I do have this fetish but I don't tell people about it and I certainly don't draw and post it. Would it really matter here? Probably not.
But I never see anything but aversion to it, except in the cases of other people who have it. It's not even bad, all things considered, it's just silly and weird. I wouldn't want anyone I know in real life to know about it (except maybe the fellow if it ever becomes relevant to the relationship - most likely it won't), and I wouldn't want to deal with the weird responses I'd get.
I find this journal rather inspiring, uplifting in regards to the above anxiety. It won't change my thoughts or actions when it comes to the fetish, but I'll certainly think about things.
Anyway, on with the alienating shit! I love it. Most of the time, I regret to say, I do love your work only artistically, but you have a few things that are genuinely arousing to me, if that helps. Either way I very much encourage you to give this your all! Follow your penis! The world becomes a better place every time you do.
I used to draw a comic that got the same sorts of reactions, and I still work on art stuff fairly regularly, but don't tend to post it. Your example makes it more likely that I will draw publically again some day :)
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but ... I never really got any grief out of it. I've had a few people express displeasure at the stranger things I draw, but that somehow never bothered me. I've known people who have only hinted at their secret desires and lost friends as a result, so maybe I'm a unique case, I don't know. I don't think I've lost any friendships because of it. Those who don't like it just ignore it, and things go on like they always do.
The only real difference is that I feel better about myself than I did years ago. I don't stress out over why I like the things I do. I like to be fairly discrete, and I don't force it on others (hence why I haven't actually mentioned what "it" is here, ha), but at the same time it's not a big shameful secret that I have to hide.
We're all freaks here. It's our common bond.
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but ... I never really got any grief out of it. I've had a few people express displeasure at the stranger things I draw, but that somehow never bothered me. I've known people who have only hinted at their secret desires and lost friends as a result, so maybe I'm a unique case, I don't know. I don't think I've lost any friendships because of it. Those who don't like it just ignore it, and things go on like they always do.
The only real difference is that I feel better about myself than I did years ago. I don't stress out over why I like the things I do. I like to be fairly discrete, and I don't force it on others (hence why I haven't actually mentioned what "it" is here, ha), but at the same time it's not a big shameful secret that I have to hide.
This is pretty much my experience. I mean my weirdness is very esoteric and bizarre, but I've never had anyone worth knowing act cruelly towards me because of it. I had ONE person act like an ass to me because of it but through him telling me I was a bad human being for liking robots I got to realize that he wasn't a really good person himself. IF the worst thing you can say about me is that I have a bizarre harmless fetish then I must be doing something right, I guess.
I have friends who do not like fetishy stuff (not that they morally object, it's just something that in general makes them uncomfortable) but I don't bring it up because it's not a common interest. Whenever they DO bring it up, it's either honest inquisition or them just doing some gentle ribbing (like linking me to a picture of a microwave and going I FOUND YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND, not going YOU ARE A MONSTER FOR LIKING THIS). This sorta stuff strengthens friendships, because I'm showing that I don't want to make them uncomfortable by bringing up stuff that they get squicked by and they're showing me that although we don't talk about it they accept what I like enough that they can make silly jokes about it.
All in all, like you, I've found that my life is much better for accepting this part of me. I've been able to get over a lot of anxiety about myself by seeing good friends not bat an eyelash over my weirdness, and then have been able to realize that a lot of what I worry about re: who I am (I have major social anxiety) is stuff no one else does.
tl;dr: Everything went better than expected! #meme
Yeah, I'd much rather be called a weirdo than a douchebag, I guess!
I wrote a bit about it in my response to Zombie, but yeah it can be an actual friendship strengthener. I don't mind that some of them aren't interested in it, but knowing that they can accept it as a part of me that won't go away is kind of wonderful. To know that this very unusual, bizarre thing that isn't something you hear everyday and that society isn't """accepting""" of is ok with even those who don't get boners over it is nice.
And it's helped me get over my anxiety, as I said. I've used it to weed out what's important and not important to worry about re: myself. Slogging through my own personal and clinical anxiety has been helpful as all fuck, and having people be ok with it and not go YOU SURE ARE GROSS BUT WE ARE FRIENDS SO I GUESS I'M OK WITH IT but instead go HEY THAT IS A THING YOU LIKE THAT IS N OT MY THING BUT WE ARE FRIENDS AND THAT IS OK is a relief. To know that so many things I worry about and fret about aren't so bad is all right.
And yeah as you know I am LADY ANXIETY.
And I do not think you are gross even if some of your stuff doesn't give me boners. I like it because it's good and because it's YOU, and I like you! the fact that some of it DOES give me boners helps, too, haha.
Now let's say I'm out at a restaurant with a dude who really loves peas and he orders some cottage pie with a side of peas and gravy. I'm not gonna go UGH PEAS I SURE HATE PEAS . I'll...just do nothing, really. It's not a thing, you know? Who gives a fuck that he likes something that I don't, especially something that doesn't really matter. He's not making me eat the peas, and I should show the same courtesy.
That kind of summarises how I feel about your stuff too. =3
I've considered drawing gore for the anatomy/shading/texture practice.
"Fuck, there's someone else out there who's just like me!" This is why I want to be as open as possible, though in a smart way while I'm not yet financially independent. I don't post a lot of weird on this identity, but my name is always poking me in the side, saying: "Heretic? Yeah, right! More like GIGANTIC PUSSY, AMIRITE?"
It's a step forward to watch (other) freaky people on the twitter and FA accounts attached to my real name, and post this here under my name. Who's gonna find it, really? Probably not my parents. Who's gonna analyze the accounts I follow and make judgments about me through them? Baby steps.
*jumps up and down* Look at me, I'm sick and depraved, too! The impulse to fit in always worms its way in somewhere.
Plus it's a lot less stressful to not have to filter out what I should or shouldn't upload, just in case I might offend the wrong kind of person.
I used to be active duty USAF. During some more involved combat trauma treatment training my group was doing, for some reason I cannot remember, the medic doing the training decided it'd be a good idea to show us some shots he had of a guy who'd tried to back a bulldozer, with no cab or roll-bar, off of a low-boy semi trailer without using any ramps. It turned out to be a bad idea; the bulldozer's tipping point was so close to the rear of the bulldozer that as it came off the back of the trailer it rolled completely over backwards before the tracks even touched the ground, ending up upside-down behind the trailer and crushing the late operator completely underneath.
As we were cycling through the photoset of the recovery guys moving the crane in and starting to lift the dozer, people were getting progressively more distraught and starting to turn aside and cover their eyes and otherwise get really well and truly bothered, particularly when it got to the close-up of the guy's hand sticking out from under the thing. As it came up, you could start to see that the dash or the steering wheel or something had apparently come down on his head, and he wasn't recognizable from the neck up, but before the view got really good, one of the guys - a former improv comic - said into the crushing silence, "Wow, that is the best hide and seek spot ever!" Everybody started laughing. The tension was completely broken, and suddenly everyone was alright.
I think most people on FA are used to thinking of their ArtSpace as being somewhere our alter egos go to hang out and do...whatever approximate equivalent of real-world stuff alter egos do. "Real world" rules, or at least a subset of them, are still sort of assumed to apply, and in an environment like that, even if reality can be bent and altered in strange ways, the stranger of them still can be assumed to result in death. People are also REALLY unused to thinking of the details of their physical form as being mutable, and a fairly large amount of the really edgy stuff you do involves mutability to or beyond the point where a character's physique would be barely capable of living. The stuff you did a bit ago with genitalia paint is the sort of thing people are only used to seeing in a magical-snuff or horror context, and as such, it was a bit...well, horrifying. I think part of the problem is that people who come to your work for the first time aren't necessarily taking it in the context in which you draw it, as much as in the context they have brought to the art with them; and in that context, some of your work is really terrifying.
I don't have a solution to this, other than to stick around and watch you for a while (which was what did it for me, and why I trust you enough now to follow you places through your art that would have me running screaming from most anyone else). But at the same time, you may be a little premature in just writing people off who run away too quickly. I think it's healthy not to care so much that they do, but the jokes and just not watching any more are two of the greatest natural defenses the human mind has against things it finds terrifying, whether they are terrifying because they are being misunderstood, or terrifying because they are in fact terrible. If people could be convinced to stop trying to apply so much of reality to the Tooniverse, though, they would probably find it less terrifying.
My propensity to alienate people is just something I'm going to have to learn to live with and hope for the best. I guess people are just going to have to spend a while figuring out if I'm crazy or not.
oh wait
Most people are probably never going to understand your art. I'm a TF-fetishy furry and I don't get a lot of it. But if nothing else it's a lot more interesting than another mediocre cartoon of gay wolves having sex. Not just because it's atypical, and thus provocative, but because it's creative and shows care and effort.
I wish I had something more useful to say besides this. Just keep going.
"Especially when all you want to do is be "normal" because normal people don't have to deal with our problems."
I had to read this journal twice to make sure I hadn't fallen asleep and dreamt the whole thing. I'm serious. You just articulated things that have been driving me up the wall for months, if not years. Especially recently, as I've been tearing down the walls of my thoroughly closeted sexuality and finally started to come to terms with it, I've had this crushing fear that as soon as I start admitting to one thing, I'd have to admit to another. Like, if I start actively thinking of myself as gay, then I might have to go further to explain that I am in fact a furry, and that my preferred fetish is transformation -that's the kind of thing they joke about on Comedy Central Presents. But it's been happening, the closer I get to acknowledging how I feel, the more compelled I am to express that. I've had all kinds of transformation fantasies before, but more and more lately I've wanted to write them down, post them on FA because... I don't know, I've fed off the community long enough that I want to give back? as twisted a notion as that is. But I haven't done that yet because it still scares me, not just admitting to this part of myself but actively participating in it, expressing it and putting it out there for all to see and judge. And people are just so fucking judgmental of what they don't understand, and it's not like I blame them. TF is weird. Furry is weird. Sexuality as a whole is weird, and it's something most everyone tries to keep hidden under the carpet as long as they can. It's just so much easier to pretend that I agree with that sentiment than to give voice to my own personal truth.
For my part, your stuff doesn't scare me in the least. I always, always, always prefer physical transformation into deformity, the kind of thing that starts off normal (or normal-ish) and ends up being almost completely unrecognizable. The best that I've been able to understand this is I'm an extremely controlling person, and part of me is fascinated by the possibility of losing control so thoroughly as to become something else altogether.
In any case, I hope I didn't bore you with my diatribe, I was just floored by what you wrote and really wanted to try at a worthwhile response. I probably should have just said thank you, and left it at that. =P
It's great that you want to give back to the community. I always encourage people to do that. The more TF stuff there is out there, the better off we'll all be!
I'm glad that you're not letting yourself be discouraged by people trying to foist conformity upon you. I totally understand where you're coming from, because I've been afraid for the longest time of being completely honest with myself with my own desires. It's only recently that I've been starting to open up to the community, which is making me feel like I should start contributing more. Maybe I'll finally work up enough determination to start posting what I can do...
Just so you know... I like a lot of your artwork... It probably helps that I'm into a bunch of what other people would consider weird shit, like tf(animal and inanimate), mind control, and other stuff. Even if you drew something that did gross or creep me out, I wouldn't judge you for it. As for those people that leave idiotic comments... Fuck 'em. They'll just have to deal with it
"now there's someone all alone out there who won't get to see your drawing and go "fuck, there's someone else out there who's just like me!" Exactly that. This makes me overcome the hurdles. Spiting or /driving away/ from yourself those who've "taken over the world" and made it unsuitable for you is one goal -- but the main thing is constructing a micro world of your own with those like you. Finding all the isolated people out there, and setting things Right. You have to find those folks and then you have to foster each other and defend against those who try (or don't try but passively do) set you back.
I am going to link to this from my journal.
And if you can land even one person that gets it, that matters more than all those that don't.