I awoke this Saturday morning to find my upper lip was like twice the size it should be. I could barely move it. This totally scared the shit outta me. This never happened to me before. I then start playing online doctor trying to find out what the heck this crap was and there is like a million billion horrible things it could be. Then I'm like OMG I'm gonna die! So I managed to find a rinky dink walk in clinic in the corner of a CVS that accepted my insurance. Turns out to be an infected hair follicle. Which sounds right because a few days ago when I was shaving, a spot under my nose was getting irritated. I just didn't think that would cause my whole lip to blow up over night two days later. On top of all this I have a fever because of the infection. So now I'm on antibiotics which I really don't like taking. I'm also taking Ibuprofen to keep the fever down. This totally driving me nuts! I hate taking any kind of pills or medication. I'm also going to grow a mustache, its doctors orders. The doctor told me not to shave my mustache area until the area has fully healed. I guess I can rock a stash for a little while. Man, I can't remember the last time I grew a mustache, it has to be at least a decade ago. Yeah, so my weekend is in the toilet thanks to my dumbass lip. I'm gonna sit home popping pills looking like a character from the Simpsons. This is great, just great.