...truth be told I'm afraid to write this.

It's hard for me: to put myself out there. But in a way it helps...it helps a lot. So I will.

This past summer at RMFC I met someone who I was quite happy to befriend. He was fun, he was happy, he was lovable---he was him.

In the nature of great irony I fell for him...now this might not seem anything special at first, but I might add he was the first person I had ever liked---my first crush, my first...

He however was quite happy, his mate and him...

---

It is now, as worlds crumble beneath him, that I find more things of myself than I could ever guess. If ever I have loved someone---it was he...

He loves her...he loves her in a way I could never meet, never match...never be...

but I care...I want to help...god forbid...I may even love.

and all I can think of is how he is hurting, and how I can't help, and still I'll wait with this knowledge that I will never be there...

Is this life? Yes. Life is always hard.

Is this madness? so what if it is: I'll stay.

Is this love?...if so...god help us all...