For quite a long time for me, in the morning, music I'd hear would sound-off key, usually flatter than normal.

I get that too. Never could quite figure out what caused it. Maybe tympanic membrane stretching?

like dumpin ice cubes on them raw naked audio cassette tapez : q

For me, listening to music while i'm tired or hyperactive cause me to perceive the music as faster or slower, respectively.

When I was much younger, noises around me would sound distant, as if they were some 30 feet further away than they really were for a few minutes, after first waking up. It was very noticeable if I left the TV on all night.

This happens to me too. I remember the time when it was most pronounced was after shooting a pistol in the backyard of my friend's house (without ear protection, because I'm a moron), and the pitch shift from the music playing in his car was INSANE. 3:

I yawned the second i read the word "yawn" in this journal.

your jaw stretching actually slightly shifts the shape of your ear canal, possibly the eardrum itself, so technically the pitch DOES change. at least in your perception.

yeah i experience this a lot as well. i also get a more sustained effect for a little while after i've been swimming.

It sounds like a little bit of lowpass filtering to me, but I know what you mean. ^.=.^

Nice metaphor.