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trying to get up the guts
14 years ago
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Don't wait for the queue to shrink—the commission docket is rarely empty....to sing with my husband's band, since they still don't have a singer, are still writing their own songs, and i have a desire to sing but don't want to tackle anything that requires a lot of guts. :D and runaways covers aren't exactly hard to play. their guitarist, sam, is like a total virtuoso, and while they don't have a rhythm guitarist, they can find one, or it isn't like anybody would notice it's lacking. i love me some runaways but that shit is easy! :DDDD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlWBG0fNOsc
linking to the dakota fanning version because with my small voice i'd sound more like her than cherie currie. :D
still though. one of those "things i have to tackle before my life is over" so.
my dad was pretty proud. i mean, i did voice acting and i was in band and was told i had a "genius musical ear" but i swear to god i have the rhythm of a retarded elephant (i played alto sax and dropped out after a year because i didn't want to drag the instrument around, lol), so i've never had the balls to do anything with it. dad used to try to teach me to drum and i couldn't keep two separate beats at the same time no matter how hard i tried. i gave up on music in my early teens and persued art. there was just no way i was ever gonna follow in daddy's footsteps, no matter how much i wanted to be like him. i still hate myself for that sometimes, but if i can sing some crappy covers in his honor, why the hell wouldn't i?
he gave me his red fender strat, the one he's played since i was a baby -- the 1980s japanese version they made when they weren't making any in america, they were only making the smaller ones in japan. i loved that guitar... i worshipped that guitar. that guitar was a HUGE part of my childhood. i would have never imagined it, but .... now it's mine, and i'm taking good care of it, even though my fingers are soft as paper and i haven't had the guts to fucking learn to play it. he entrusted it to me even though i don't play because... well, you'll read why.
i confessed this desire to him over the phone the other night, and (you may or may not know my dad's an awesome guitarist, has been since his teens) he told me the story of one awful show here in houston, where i live and he's only played gigs. they were opening for some band and the guitarist came up to him in the hotel room where they were all "chilling" (lol god knows what they were up to!) and said, "so can you teach me something?" she begged my dad's band ("all fingers" -- they played my entire life, until his best friend [rest in peace, j.c.] passed away this past year) to HEADLINE instead of OPEN because she felt like they just sucked too much to headline. so they agreed, and the lineup switched. apparently, their manager was "overselling" them and she had the good sense to know when to bow out.
(that j.c. passed away is why i think he gave me the fender strat... i think it hurt too much to play it now, after all that it had been through with "all fingers", so now it's in my care. it was so sad to take it from him, but i think he knows how much i respect that guitar... and even though i may not be able to play it now, he knows i'll protect it with my life.) anyway.
in good sportsmanship and admiring her moxie, dad taught her the chords for chuck berry's "johnny b. goode" on normal guitar, since the poor girl didn't know much (she was a bassist, damnit!). yes, that girl was kathy valentine, the bassist for the go-gos.
my husband heard me laughing on the phone, right? dad was telling me the name of the band that chick was in at the time, the band they were opening for -- "the violators". i was laughing, i was like "THE VIOLATORS! AHAHAHAH!" i mean it sounded so silly.
cory looked it up on wikipedia later and was freaking out. there it was, "the violators", the band she played with years before she was ever in the go-gos. it doesn't surprise me, because i mean, that's MY DAD, right, but sometimes i still think it freaks cory out when he finds things out like this. but it makes me so happy because seeing cory get so star-struck over my dad makes me happy. he is such an aspirational musician that i like seeing him get all starry-eyed like that. :D so adorable. and my dad loves him, so. it's cute.
anyway. late night rambles. i gotta go to bed. :D i'm gonna sing with his band if he ever takes five minutes to teach them that runaways song, because like it will take longer than that. song's easy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlWBG0fNOsc
linking to the dakota fanning version because with my small voice i'd sound more like her than cherie currie. :D
still though. one of those "things i have to tackle before my life is over" so.
my dad was pretty proud. i mean, i did voice acting and i was in band and was told i had a "genius musical ear" but i swear to god i have the rhythm of a retarded elephant (i played alto sax and dropped out after a year because i didn't want to drag the instrument around, lol), so i've never had the balls to do anything with it. dad used to try to teach me to drum and i couldn't keep two separate beats at the same time no matter how hard i tried. i gave up on music in my early teens and persued art. there was just no way i was ever gonna follow in daddy's footsteps, no matter how much i wanted to be like him. i still hate myself for that sometimes, but if i can sing some crappy covers in his honor, why the hell wouldn't i?
he gave me his red fender strat, the one he's played since i was a baby -- the 1980s japanese version they made when they weren't making any in america, they were only making the smaller ones in japan. i loved that guitar... i worshipped that guitar. that guitar was a HUGE part of my childhood. i would have never imagined it, but .... now it's mine, and i'm taking good care of it, even though my fingers are soft as paper and i haven't had the guts to fucking learn to play it. he entrusted it to me even though i don't play because... well, you'll read why.
i confessed this desire to him over the phone the other night, and (you may or may not know my dad's an awesome guitarist, has been since his teens) he told me the story of one awful show here in houston, where i live and he's only played gigs. they were opening for some band and the guitarist came up to him in the hotel room where they were all "chilling" (lol god knows what they were up to!) and said, "so can you teach me something?" she begged my dad's band ("all fingers" -- they played my entire life, until his best friend [rest in peace, j.c.] passed away this past year) to HEADLINE instead of OPEN because she felt like they just sucked too much to headline. so they agreed, and the lineup switched. apparently, their manager was "overselling" them and she had the good sense to know when to bow out.
(that j.c. passed away is why i think he gave me the fender strat... i think it hurt too much to play it now, after all that it had been through with "all fingers", so now it's in my care. it was so sad to take it from him, but i think he knows how much i respect that guitar... and even though i may not be able to play it now, he knows i'll protect it with my life.) anyway.
in good sportsmanship and admiring her moxie, dad taught her the chords for chuck berry's "johnny b. goode" on normal guitar, since the poor girl didn't know much (she was a bassist, damnit!). yes, that girl was kathy valentine, the bassist for the go-gos.
my husband heard me laughing on the phone, right? dad was telling me the name of the band that chick was in at the time, the band they were opening for -- "the violators". i was laughing, i was like "THE VIOLATORS! AHAHAHAH!" i mean it sounded so silly.
cory looked it up on wikipedia later and was freaking out. there it was, "the violators", the band she played with years before she was ever in the go-gos. it doesn't surprise me, because i mean, that's MY DAD, right, but sometimes i still think it freaks cory out when he finds things out like this. but it makes me so happy because seeing cory get so star-struck over my dad makes me happy. he is such an aspirational musician that i like seeing him get all starry-eyed like that. :D so adorable. and my dad loves him, so. it's cute.
anyway. late night rambles. i gotta go to bed. :D i'm gonna sing with his band if he ever takes five minutes to teach them that runaways song, because like it will take longer than that. song's easy.
i was in ONE high school play my senior year. i played dorothy, not in "the wizard of oz", but in "beanie and the bamboozling book machine", a children's play that featured several children's characters. i nailed the audition because i was obsessed with judy garland and could do a spot-on impression of her, VOICE wise. my theatre director was always screaming "PROJECT!! PROJECT!!!" but i just never learned the whole "talk from the diaphragm" thing, and i've never had the lungs to talk very loud. i have a very soft voice, so voice acting was easy since you're talking right into a microphone, but much as i wanted to do stage acting, i was always too afraid!
But anyways! I say, go for it. If you want to do something creative and new you should totally go for it. I say this because you could spend forever not trying and never know if you truly found something you can be passionate about. It's also very exhilerating to work as a group I should think. I've never had the guts/confidence myself to pursue any of my musical dreams (I never even realized I HAD dreams until very recently) so anyone who does have that confidence gets my respect and envy X3 I wish I was brave enough to follow my heart and do the things people say I have talent in.
You're lucky to have your dad on your side, from what you've shared with us here about him/you, I really do think it's awesome that you have eachother and that he'd probably support whatever choices and endeavors you took on.
and yeah, dad is neat. <3 i honestly would do anything i could to make him proud of me, so if getting over my fears and singing in front of a crowd would make him proud, even if i totally sucked i'd do it (because even though i know this won't be the case, if i got up and sounded AWFUL but it made him happy, i'd do it anyway). <3 so i'll be doing it because i mean, it's the least i can do for him for raising me around music, you know? i am never going to be the musician he is -- i went a different way -- but still, to do any kind of music makes me feel really close to him, so it's kind of like ... just worth it, to me. <3 i think i have a pretty speaking voice, but i don't like my singing voice (I have what i call a "lullaby voice", good for singing lullabies but not much else -- but I know he'd like it so I'd do it anyway). but still. <3 dad's great, so singing a runaways song is kind of like the coolest thing i could do to honor him!
I would also love to make my parents proud. I feel like I let them down being all arty farty instead of practical like just about all of my other classmates when I was studying. I feel like being artistic isn't good enough for some reason.
You DO have a pretty voice, from the vid you showed me of Scrambles, I was really taken with how lovely your voice was :) Very feminine and pretty and inviting. Wow now who's sounding CREEEEPPPYYYY bahahaha XD!
I understand about the social awkwardness, if that's sort of what you meant at the start of your reply. I love meeting people and commenting on FA but I am incredibly shy and I get very very attached to people personally too. I just end up instantly caring for people and being involved in their problems trying to help, but I get nervous and insecure at the same time. I don't know if that's anything similar to the anxiety you mentioned about getting to know people. I think I know what you mean, sometimes I find it hard to open up too and I will be quite blunt. I worry I do come off a bit cold at times but underneath I am far from it.
but yeah. dad used to catch me singing into my mic on my comp with my door shut and he'd be like "was that you just now?" and i'd be like ("...no way, that sucked.") but i was just like, that's parents! as much as my dad's a musician, unlike kids on american idol, i know my dad has always been like YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE AT EVERYTHING and i was always the kid who was like "that must mean i suck, because you're my dad, and you'd say i was good even if i blew chunks." maybe that's why i never trusted my singing and never tried. :D
My mum tells me to shut the hell up whenever I sing. I'm glad I finally moved out so she isn't here to discourage me. I've always loved singing but she'd always say "oh stop that terrible racket omg" all the time so I got scared about singing even though I adored it. Having little to no support for anything I like doing while I lived at home made me really insecure :< I don't believe people when they say I am good at things. It's crap because I feel quite lost in life and wonder where I fit in ;s
I am sure you're a good singer, like you say, your dad knows his stuff! Surely he wouldn't lead you to believe you were amazing if you weren't. I cringe and feel so sorry for some of these kids on these singing shows like idol... their parents make them think they're wonderful and they're just not :<
i noted you. <3 i still insist i'm not ever going to be a great singer, but i CAN say i could rock the fuck out of some runaways covers, and that's ENOUGH for me! :D
Thanks! I will add you to aim :3 but I am not gonna be on much longer for tonight (this morning argh so early) but I will definitely be poking you sooooon ! I am gonna upload something in a sec :x I'm a bit nervous though XD!
I'm afraid I recorded this quickly tonight. I think I've done better ^^;; Anyways I shall scoot now I've tired myself out invading your journal! I'm gonna reply to your last comment tomorrow when I wake up, hopefully I remember. I am a bit of a ditz though >.>;;;
^^; thanks for taking an interest in my singing, I hope you think it's ok! goodnight for now~ XD!
omg i could never ever in a million years be that good. i mean i was just talking about yelling some runaways covers!!! your singing voice is gorgeous. :D
y'know. if i ever did voice acting again i would just ask them to have you do my singing voice if it was a disney-esque movie with singing. hehehe.
And why is it whenever you mention your dad I want to meet him? XD
Not that I won't be a fangirl if you decide to sing. I can be your personal cheering squad XD!!
i hope i take after him. i really do.
i think it'd be hard for dad to lack understanding about a difference in religious views... :D when my dad was in bands in his early 20s, everyone was in the "it's hip to be scientologist" phase. no shit. that was a thing back then, before it was a purely celebrity deal! dad grew up episcopalian (or what he called "catholic lite") and went to a more agnostic view, then kind of adopted baptism in my early youth because of the woman he married and obligation... he stuck to baptism, and then in my teens i went ignorant parrot baptist -> agnostic -> wiccan. i could always tell dad admired me for my eagerness to "seek the truth" and didn't mind where i went to find it... at first he wrote it off as "a phase" but when i stuck to it, i think he learned something from me. i honestly think he was more comfortable when i was a witch than when i went atheist, but i mean, that's anyone with any kind of lingering faith in a higher power! LOL. <3 but it's sweet.
dad is what i'd call a deist -- he won't admit it to himself, but there is nothing wrong with that at all. in fact, i think deism is one of those things that many atheists worth their salt can get behind. he just is a deist with so much tradition behind it that it's hard to shake. i just try to educate him about evolution, and i think he's kind of the same way about evolution as other people can be about technology -- they know it's there but it's so hard to learn about once you've gone so long without learning about it. it's hard to accept. but he's a good man with a good brain, so i try to engage him in debate now and then, but it's never angry debate. :D
like he tells me, he taught me as a kid, and i try to teach him now, and i'm sure it'll be the same with me someday once i've had kids of my own. i'll be stubborn and they'll have something new to teach me. that's the interesting thing about life. <3
Even better, that he's had quite an eye opening life so far, it'd be difficult to be judgmental or closed off to people and their views. I'm glad he supported your own quest for the truth. My parents are simply very anti-religion, sometimes I wonder whether if I found some sort of faith that they'd just be unsupportive of me. None of my family seems to be religious at all and none of them go to church or anything as far as I know.
It's difficult to change how you were raised or things that might have influenced you as a younger person/child. It's quite odd how a lot of us cling to things our parents might have taught us, it's difficult to disbelieve since being a child is totally about learning and mimicking your parents in a lot of ways, you look up to them to teach you about life and how the world works of course. I am quite different to my parents but there are moment where I realise some things have been so drummed into me I can't shake them either.
He sounds wise too, saying he taught you as a kid and that you now teach him new things. It's very accepting and un-blinkered, a lot of people ought to follow that example. They are very ignorant and stubborn. I hope that if I ever have children that I can be like that too, and not be too dismissive or controlling about their own personalities. Everyone is so different, some parents don't seem to embrace it and rather supress it... resulting in all sorts of issues.
Sometimes I wish I did have faith in something. I feel like things are very dire a lot of the time. I envy people who do have religion, something to feel safe believing, because I don't have anything. However, I think that I am able to talk about things quite reasonably... a lot of my friends who are religious say atheists are too aggressive to discuss anything with and that I'm a pleasant change.
*bounces with her tho* Hi Lily been a while. XD
ohai~ it has! :D!
Afterall, when you're old and grey the only things you will truly regret are the things you didn't do.
I always enjoy reading what you're up to and what you have to say on things. I usually just read and smile, but this touched a little close to home for me to pass up saying something!
Our fathers are a lot alike. Mine's been playing bass guitar since before he was a teenager, and he was born in '53, so he's got a lot of experience and experiences behind him. When I was growing up, he was always on the road travelling from place to place to play all across the country, from New Orleans to Nevada, and probably everywhere else, too. I didn't get to see much of him when I was a child, but I've always admired what he did, and only in the past few years realized how.. how do I say it? How vast he really is.
I have so much love and respect for him, but sometimes it's hard for me to show it. It's strange to be one of my father's biggest fans, and the next minute I'm engaging him as a father. I have a picture of him from the '80s looking like a dork in one of his favorite bands, 'The L.A. Band', where he met my mother, and another in his time with Vince Vance & The Valiants. The runner-up for Miss USA asked for him to be her backup vocalist one year. He's got as much talent as a vocalist as he does with bass guitar.
I've tried before to be more like him and pick up an instrument, but I always think I could never live up to him. I've been around music my whole life and the best I can do is a little keyboard. He asked me to set in for a small gig one time when their keyboardist couldn't make it, but I was too nervous and scared to do it.
I'm not sure what all religious views he has now, but he married a Wiccan, fifteen years later converted to Baptist, stuck with that for about five years before leaving church, and I know he was part of the Free Love movement way back when. He's always been supportive of everything I've done, and he's been a wonderful father, even when we both had our downs as a family, and even though he's been married seven times before, our family has stuck together for more than all the other wives put together.
I remember sneaking off to church with a friend of mine who went one day, and when I came out, he was there with the car waiting on me to make sure I didn't have to walk home. This was still when they were firm in their Wiccan beliefs, too.
After saying all of that, I really want to just thank you, and to encourage you with your singing! I think it's really awesome that you have a chance to do that, and want to do it for your father. Performing in front of a crowd is really different from anything else, and comparing it to recording in a studio would be just ridiculous. Fortunately though, if you have your own microphone, you still don't have to worry about projecting too much! It still sounds better performance-wise when you project, but as long as you're consistent in volume, you can be as quiet as you like! I think the worse part is the crowd, and getting the guts to start the first few times, but eventually you get encouragement from seeing someone enjoying your music, and you get to have fun with them, and in turn they push you on and encourage you. It's really rewarding, and to me, beautiful. You just have to be persistent.
Much love,
-Mabel.
My father died 15 days ago, he was a brilliant musician (mostly guitar and keyboard) and all he wanted from his girls (three daughters) was for us to sing. None of us did. And I would give the world to sing for him now.
One of the things I do for my friends is make up fake songs and sing them in voices that mock different singing styles. Country is my favorite because my southern accent is near perfect. It would be fun to find someone who can make those songs into something worth showing to others... Oh well, I guess I have a whole road ahead of me that I want to try to go down someday.